The Dutch.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by goatrutar, Jul 26, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. They're a lovely people with a forward thinking government,etc,etc. But there's something just a bit well, odd about the cloggies. Something I can't quite put my finger on.

    Discuss.


    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
     
  2. The only Cloggie I know is the Cloggie off here, and he's got a deformed head, one of those Jeremy Beadle hands and a club foot.
     
  3. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    I was forced to learn a basic form of their language for 12 years, I then spent two years at Uni learning the proper version including their literature...on visiting Holland for the first time imagine my surprise when they all turn out to speak excellent English - so 14 years wasted then....
     
    • Like Like x 7
  4. My stepmother was a Cloggie, and all I learned was "hot fredamme klootzak". It's stood me in good stead.
     
  5. I like the Cloggies, and I always feel normal height when I go over there because most of them are tall.

    However, a friend of mine lived there for a few years and he maintained that it was a very corrupt society.

    Schaden - when I went back to Holland after spending 2 years in S.A. my Cloggy friends laughed at the Afrikaans expressions I used - they said it sounded like a 4 y.o. talking Dutch.
     
  6. I almost managed to put a Cloggie notch onto my bedpost, the frigid cow disappeared after she saw me halfway through downing a pint of my own pish.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Fibber.

    You produced a pint of piss?
     
  8. Stationed on the Dutch/German border for three years. I have fond blank spots in my memory of nights out in Holland. Their 'liberated' society was an education to a young fella on his first overseas tour.
     
  9. Never been to Holland, but have known many here in AU over the years. To generalize, they come across as both very meticulous and very insistent. F'rinstance, some years ago when I was doing a fair bit of yacht racing I was detailed as a scratch crew to help a yacht club member get his 54 footer back from Broome to Perth as his crew/family had had enough and jumped ship.

    So, four of us flew to Broome, provisioned up and got aboard in heaving seas. Things all pretty cruisy for the first day or so we were underway, taking 4 hour shifts alternating with the other guys. But the skipper was Dutch. And by the second day the Capt. Queeg characteristics started to emerge, with a relentless full-toss racing pace maintained while we bashed into 30 kt headwinds for day after endless day for the couple of thousand nm. So, for setting a totally un-necessarily cracking pace
    (with all the significant discomforts that involves), while at no point being observed to stand down for more than an hour a day himself while also doing simultaneous navigation by gps, celestial and dead-reckoning methods with un-nerving accuracy. When there was no rush to get there.

    Just a complete bastward, but the most competent, capable sailor I've ever sailed with.

    Sure his "Dutch-ness" had much to do with this situation.
     
  10. I've heard that a lot of the Dutch here in Oz were Nazi collaborators who were moved here after the war to protect them from the loyal Dutch population.

    This would make them clog wog dogs.
     
  11. Only that generation - their children, stigmatised and relegated to doing menial jobs for non-English speaking employers, would be clog wog dog frog bog sprogs.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  12. I found the same with German. How I laughed when I found they taught English at school there. 4 years of learning Jew burner at high school down the bog.


    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. That really grips my shit... fucking discuss.

    I mean, I really really hate it when people say that.

    Cunt.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Go for the multiple guess answer or the 'tell us all you know about' essay instead.

    Major Sunray is half Cloggy so I wouldn't dream of saying anything about this fine windmill powered, dike covered, flat nation.


    Nor would I ever say things such as 'You wouldn't understand your not British' or stand there shaking my head saying 'Typical foreign behaviour' if she's not displaying a stiff upper lip about something.

    Her mother also makes yellow gravy, not a nice cream sauce type thing you might get in Ikea but actual beef stock based onion gravy...I mean how??? I've never been brave enough to try it and just assume its something they do along with sticking chocolate sprinkles on everything.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Whenever I came into contact with cloggies, I simultaneously seemed to get hammered. Quite odd.