I need some innovative ideas for winding up some totally anal retentive cnuts. Doing a trip on a rig crewed mainly by Dutch guys and a few Brits. Us Brits found out the other day that the rig is (apparently) named after a dutch homosexual who was on the board of the Drilling Company. Cue us trying to wind up the cloggies by continually grabbing them and in the style of the Fast Show sketch saying "This is Hans and he is not just my colleague but also my lover ... ", And its going down like a cup of cold sick .. Humourless Gimps. Now you might think the dutch are alright but the ones here are so anal retentive it is unbelivable. I share a toilet and shower with the cabin next door and have been asked to "flush the toilet a bit more quietly" .. some please tell me how the fcuk I do that ?? .. which made me tell the said cloggie that if he is going to have a dump then if he has to fire it off the bowl at high speed creating a choclate pebbledash effect could he please clean it afterwards .. (you filthy cnut) .. again not happy. One locked a brit out of his cabin !! .. lad had finished in the early hours and couldnt get to his bed, turns out the cloggie had decided that if the lad didnt finish by the time he went to his pit he wasnt getting in .. what a cnut. Us few brits are fcuking sick of their crap and are planning a revolt .. any good cloggie put downs or suggestion most welcome.