The difference between squaddies and civvies - keeping in touch

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
About a month ago was one of those months for me. I've kept resolutely out of the circle since I left - clean cut and all otherwise it's too painful.

Was in London for a conference, shouted up an old buddy who changed his shift at his fire station. He came to the conference, got him VIP and we got wrecked. Not seen or spoke to him since 2009 in Afghan.

We had a great night. Massive bezzering, ended up in a nice restaurant too drunk to remember where, telling the staff to 'bring us all your eats' and telling a homeless guy to **** off.

Then two days later back home, phone goes and it's another mate from back then who phoned because he though, 'Why the **** not?'. Get updates on another mate who's had a horrible accident training and now making plans to surprise visit him at HC.

Funny how these things happen, but yes, it was like we'd just been away on a course and was catching up again.
 
I've got an old mate from when I was in the mob back in the seventies who has kept in touch over the years. He's now living in the Czech Republic just over the border from Germany. He's been unwell with stomach pains for a few weeks. He's coming back arriving tomorrow when he will stay at my place in West London for the night and then I'm driving him up to Oxford for an afternoon appointment at his quacks.

He's not too bad and hopefully it's nothing serious so he's ok to get on a coach and travel back but I'd have driven to the Czech Republic and brought him back if it was necessary.

Barring family, there aren't many people I'd do that for.
 

Sackerson

Old-Salt
I don't think this is a civvy vs squaddie matter. For some people the connection doesn't evaporate with time, others sadly feel that just because you haven't kept in regular touch the friendship is falling down for lack of repairs. Silver rusts; gold doesn't.
 
In fairness, those who have served probably have a fair idea of the conditions prevalent there. Of course that precludes many site members! Although I do remember a gloriously sunny spell there once. But only once.

That was at the end of April-early May 1982.

5th Inf Bde depoyed to Sennybrisge to train for operations in a South Atlantic winter. Sennybriodge experienced a heat wave with glorious sunshine. There were several grass fires due to the usually waterlogged ground being so dry...

I do have pictures somewhere but I can't be arrsed to scan them :)

Details can be found here:

5th-infantry-brigade-in-the-falklands-war.jpg
 
The difference between Squaddie mates and Civvie mates?

Squaddies:

  • Squaddies don't hide under the table when a car backfires outside the pub.

  • Squaddies don't bore on for hours in the pub about how Iraq was all about the oil and Afghanistan was all about the opium (they both hate Tony Blair though).

  • Squaddies turn up on time without any lame excuses of getting mugged or carjacked or stabbed or murdered (they might have been, but they still turn up on time without a bone excuse).

  • Your squaddie mates probably won't have an account on arrse. Your civvie mates probably will.

  • Squaddies will help you bury a body, civvies will have a previously arranged luncheon date. Hell, your squaddie mates will help you 'dispatch' the body if they're really good friends. If your really good friend is wolvoexpunk this maytake some time before he's finished slowly torturing the ****** half to death, then bringing him back to life and torturing him a bit more. You could be there a while.

  • Your squaddie mates will know what colour the boat house was.

  • When there's a fight in the pub and you get arrested, your squaddie mates won't shout loudly at the coppers arresting you "**** you Dad! You can't tell me what to do!"

  • When you get pulled over for speeding on your way home from the pub, your squaddie mate's first words after rolling down the window won't be "are you arresting me, Officer?"


  • Your squaddie mates won't want to drink with your civvie mates! (Unless your civvie mates are paying).


Civvies:

  • Your civvie mates will want to drink with your squaddie mates! (And they won't mind paying).

  • Your civvie mates don't look at you awkwardly and change the conversation every time you crack open a packet of McVities Digestives. Especially if it's just the two of you.

  • Your civvie mates will have at least some kind of taste or standards in the opposite sex. Your squaddie pals would **** a frog if it stopped hopping long enough. Better chance of getting laid at least with your squaddie pals if that is your aim. Quantitty not quality!

  • Civvies will think you're a bit of a gayer if you turn up to the pub in a frock wearing pink lipstick, Your RM mates will just think it's standard dress code and probably be wearing a little number themselves.

  • Your civvie mates will always enter the pub by the front door. Your 'Maroon Machine' pals, however, will infiltrate via the balcony and exfiltrate via the smashed in back doors, and no one will even know they were ever there. No one talks about 'them'. No one that 'knows' anyway.

  • Your civvie mates from the North East will just think you're going for a quick cigarette when you tell them you're going outside for a tab (where as in fact you will be back in precisely 4 hours at the exact same location with full kit on gopping wet and sorely in need of a bath). If you tell them you are going for a yomp they will just think you're being rude. The throbbers.

  • Your civvie mates will have no idea at all what your experience in the army was like. Coz they weren't there, man!

  • When your civvie mates hear you talk about THAT rifle with your squaddie mates,they will think you are referring to the specific singular, where as anyone who 'knows' will know you are talking in omniscient and universal terms. They also won't understand why a tear drops from your steely eye either.

  • Your civvie mates won't be able to beat up your squaddie mates, but they could probably outrun them (it's the fear if nothing else).
 
I have not got any Civvy mates, i have nothing in common with them.
You were RAF you wouldn't know what a mate was, so no change there. I stand by for my last 20 posts getting a SBCA from you
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Given the circumstances and the sad ending of Mr Kris Brennan, AKA Supermatelow, I thought it would be worthwhile to give this thread a bump.

If any of your mates have been struggling recently and suddenly gone quiet, it might be worth giving them a bell just to check in.

I haven't heard from the guy I was referring to in this thread for a while now - unless you count the odd comment on FB.

That could either mean he's either wallowing in self doubt, wondering whether or not it's all worth it, or he's found himself a vulnerable single mum and exploiting her sexually for all it's worth.

Either way I'm going to drop him a line on the off chance it's option No.2 and I'll require pictures as proof...
 
Given the circumstances and the sad ending of Mr Kris Brennan, AKA Supermatelow, I thought it would be worthwhile to give this thread a bump.

If any of your mates have been struggling recently and suddenly gone quiet, it might be worth giving them a bell just to check in.

I haven't heard from the guy I was referring to in this thread for a while now - unless you count the odd comment on FB.

That could either mean he's either wallowing in self doubt, wondering whether or not it's all worth it, or he's found himself a vulnerable single mum and exploiting her sexually for all it's worth.

Either way I'm going to drop him a line on the off chance it's option No.2 and I'll require pictures as proof...
Well we will need the pics of the single mum as proof you were good to your word...

Unless she is fat.
 
Not man enough to cut about in knock off crocs and rugger shorts so he's turned to the ghey side, the screaming bottom renting beefer.
 

Ritch

LE
For my 4,000th post under this name I thought I'd try something a little different.

I've been a bit quiet of late, having successfully negotiated the limbo of selling up and buying what could be my "forever home". Not quite the Ravers Towers, but I digress.

I was getting an early night last Friday as I was off to That London for a much deserved weekend break of drinking gin & lying to women way out of my league in the heart of Soho when, early hours of the morning I get an extra loud "pa-ding" on Messenger...

See I don't know why, but my little green icon thing tells the rest of the world I'm "online" at silly hours when in reality, the Zweviec & failed masturbation attempt has normally knocked me unconscious by about 1030.

Out of the blue, it was an ex-squaddie mate I'd not served with for 20 years, and not seen bar one brief meeting in town about ten years ago.

He'd just come home to an empty house. No warning. Apparently I was the only one "online" at that point, but I'm glad that A. He reached out and B. That we reconnected.

See I was explaining this to a civvie mate and she couldn't quite get her head around the fact we'd not spoken for 2 decades (more or less) and when I popped by to see him on Saturday to see how he was getting on, immediately started bezzering up and interspersed with casual "snakes-with-tits" one-liners, we'd re-engaged dit-lock and carried on normal jogging; tales of Jokers nightclub, "where are they now"... I could almost smell the Joop, stale alcohol and cigarettes of 1995 emanating around the room...

It was a sadly familiar tale though. He'd worked tirelessly to build a home, took on a fair amount of debt to make the house a home etc, she buggers off, wants half the results, none of the burden.

I'd suggested getting in touch with the RBL. Make a list of all the positive things that will come of it. Keep busy. Reconnect with your pals etc. It was nice to see in the space of six days, he'd booked the estate agents I'd recommended too. Plus I've offered my place up for the occasional visit / stay if the old boy needs a change of scenery having been tirelessly getting it shipshape over the last month and with any luck, two years from now he'll be roughly where I am. Floating through life, looking out of the window thinking "it could be worse".

Although give it a few years and I'll be evicting Ravers, getting sucked off by a different supermodel every day and eating fillet steak & Roquefort for brekkie. I digress again...

Where am I going with this?

Well when I told him I'd been through a similar situation just over two years ago (albeit very amicably by comparison), he said "and why the hell didn't you get in touch?"

Why the hell indeed. I meet up with a load of other former squaddies every 6 months or so for a curry, whoever has settled here the last 20 years or so, whoever is available. We always have a great time, promise to keep in touch but we never do. We simply carry on the same convo that started 6 months, a year, 20 years ago. But there's always a bed spare for a mate, and one hopes the same for me should life ever kick me in the balls so hard I've literally no idea where to turn.

Give your muckers a ring. They'll think you're a raging homo for doing so but having lost a few good mates recently who had everything to live for and were only in their 40s, there won't be too many opportunities to do so in the future.

We used to be invincible. But then we were squaddies... And that's the difference.

If I could give this post more than one positive rating, I would.

I tried taking my life earlier this year. I'd have bloody succeeded too if my dear old Mum hadn't have found me and decided to jump up and down on my chest for a bit. Up until that point, I was (I still am really) very isolated. My civvy mates just don't drop by and I felt like I shouldn't go bothering anyone with my problems.

I feel that if I had reached out to someone, I wouldn't have got to the point where I decided to neck the half bottle of morphine and some amitriptyline.

Like @Boris_Johnson says; get your mates rung, share the good times (and the bad) and have each others back.
 
If I could give this post more than one positive rating, I would.

I tried taking my life earlier this year. I'd have bloody succeeded too if my dear old Mum hadn't have found me and decided to jump up and down on my chest for a bit. Up until that point, I was (I still am really) very isolated. My civvy mates just don't drop by and I felt like I shouldn't go bothering anyone with my problems.

I feel that if I had reached out to someone, I wouldn't have got to the point where I decided to neck the half bottle of morphine and some amitriptyline.

Like @Boris_Johnson says; get your mates rung, share the good times (and the bad) and have each others back.
Ya bugger..
All you need to do is post up on here if you're feeling in shit state, people will either rip the piss out of you which can put things into perspective or they'll dig out blind for you.
After speaking with a young lady of this parish who knew you were down in the dumps I cheered you up.
If it ever gets like that again say so on here FFS!
 
You fucking arsehat! Poppy needs her dad.

If you're feeling shit clock in here for some abuse and fuckwittery.

Had some pretty shit times as well and one of the things that kept my spirits up was banter with the cunts on here and knowing my guys need me.
 
Given the circumstances and the sad ending of Mr Kris Brennan, AKA Supermatelow, I thought it would be worthwhile to give this thread a bump.

If any of your mates have been struggling recently and suddenly gone quiet, it might be worth giving them a bell just to check in.

I haven't heard from the guy I was referring to in this thread for a while now - unless you count the odd comment on FB.

That could either mean he's either wallowing in self doubt, wondering whether or not it's all worth it, or he's found himself a vulnerable single mum and exploiting her sexually for all it's worth.

Either way I'm going to drop him a line on the off chance it's option No.2 and I'll require pictures as proof...
Errrrm, what’s the sketch with Supermatelot?
 

Ritch

LE
Ya bugger..
All you need to do is post up on here if you're feeling in shit state, people will either rip the piss out of you which can put things into perspective or they'll dig out blind for you.
After speaking with a young lady of this parish who knew you were down in the dumps I cheered you up.
If it ever gets like that again say so on here FFS!
You fucking arsehat! Poppy needs her dad.

If you're feeling shit clock in here for some abuse and fuckwittery.

Had some pretty shit times as well and one of the things that kept my spirits up was banter with the cunts on here and knowing my guys need me.

Sorry lads. I am very bad at opening up to anyone. Like to be seen as strong and not a burden etc.
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Sorry lads. I am very bad at opening up to anyone. Like to be seen as strong and not a burden etc.

Mate that's shit to hear.

As Lardbeast says, it's good to share a bit of abuse. Nobody says you have to open up.

It's good for the soul. Plus you only ever take the piss out of people you like...


Hmm, thinking about it, I must be really, really, really popular :???:
 

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