The Diane Abbott appreciation thread

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer

Dredd

LE
She's like Freddie Krueger; you close your eyes for a snooze, and before you know it you hear sweet nonsense being mumbled into your ear, flecks of spittle hit the back of your neck, and her clammy, rubbery hand creeping round your waist...
Don't stop now !
Don't encourage him. The next paragraph sees the appearance of young James, clad only in a dressing gown, with a 'gun in his pocket' and scissors in his hand.

NOPE.jpg
 

Dredd

LE
If I may?

"...there was the sound of keys in the front door. On the decrepit sofa in the front room, @Bacongrills looked up from between the folds of Abbott's labia where he had been hunting for the clitoris behind the TV remote control and the lid of a Pringles tube.

The door swung open and in walked an old man wearing a grey polyester shell suit. It was Corbyn. "Ahh Diane my fragrant love hippo, I see you've got the meat for our sandwich!" He leered at @Bacongrills and fumbled with the front of his tracksuit, as though trying to do a brass rubbing. Stroking his erection, Corbyn made his way to the stereo. "Time for some love tunes to get us in the mood: if you thought she was wet now, wait until she hears this." The stereo started playing 'The Internationale'.

Corbyn hadn't been lying. Abbott's clunge exploded into action, as though a damn had burst. First out in the slime-fest was her tampax from the previous period, still encrusted with lumps of dark brown jellied blood, and was followed by the lid of a deodorant bottle "Don't worry love' she murmured, "I only use the deodorant to break the crust on my minge, I never use it to hide my musk." By now Jeremy had shuffled around to behind @Bacongrills, and was trying to pull down his trousers with one hand while getting a tube of lube from his pocket with the other....
OOF.gif
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Thanks for the positive review! :)
Get it up on Amazon too. The review. If you can get anything else up reference the fragrant Miss Abbott you need psychological help.
 
She's like Freddie Krueger; you close your eyes for a snooze, and before you know it you hear sweet nonsense being mumbled into your ear, flecks of spittle hit the back of your neck, and her clammy, rubbery hand creeping round your waist...
You can fuck right off! Got some tender and juicy pork neck steaks for dinner but they'll be wasted if I do them now.

Beans on toast it is.
 
You can **** right off! Got some tender and juicy pork neck steaks for dinner but they'll be wasted if I do them now.

Beans on toast it is.
Don't burn the toast and imagine that one of the beans is Diane's Clitoris, staring you in the eye as her crusty gusset advances, slowly, menacingly and unstoppingly towards you.
 

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