The Dennis Healeys

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Nov 26, 2008.

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  1. Nothing, a small bonsai garden above your eyes is the sign of a real man.

  2. Cultivate them in order to cover your bald head.

  3. Trim them with a bayonet

  4. Follow a scorched earth policy

  5. Get them waxed, then put on a dress

  6. Dye them pink to match your eyelashes

  1. It's finally happened, I've got to that age. I always thought that it wouldn't happen to me, but I was wrong.....

    Over the past few years I've seen it happen to my friends. It always brought about a strange mixed reaction in me, revulsion, amusement and fear in almost equal measures.

    Now it's my turn, and I'm in a quandry as to what to do. Should I accept it gracefully, or take steps against it (even if it may border on gayness to take these steps).

    What do my fellow ARRSErs do?
  2. When I have me haircut, the barber trims me eyebrows and de-hairs me ears.
  3. Bayonet seems to be winning...
  4. Could be worse :?

    Attached Files:

  5. Don't trim them, don't cut them, don't fashion them into a vague replica of London Bridge. I trimmed mine once, two weeks later the wife left me, I lost the house, my future pension and my children. :wink:

    Seriously, it happened.
  6. Just curious, but is your name Samson?

    BTW I do like the Lemmy idea, but I'm not sure how it'd look with the beret.
  7. Leonid Brezhnev!
  8. Is it a mono brow or are they just like two black tooth brushes stuck above your eybrows?

    I regularly trim mine as have both. It sometimes looks like a bass broom on my fcuking forehead.
  9. They look a bit like miniature barbed wire entanglements, if I look up it's almost as if I'm lying in a trench at Ypres. I may consider selling this idea to the Imperial War Museum.
  10. Funnily enougth, my wife has been giving me grief tonight about the state of my eyebrows. She has one of those electric lady shaves that she shaves her spiders legs/clock springs with.
    It can be set to a number four, down to a number one. I normally give my eyebrows a number one every couple of weeks.
    It's so sleek that I can trim my follically inclined ears and nose.
    Its only downside is that it does not smell of kippers, no matter how many times she uses it.
  11. Yep. I do them on a no. 1 with a hair clipper thingy that the missus gave me for christmas. Does the trick. Even the big wiry ginger ones that seem to take over if I leave it too long between trims. I usually get rid of them quickly as we don't want any hint of gwarishness do we? :D

    A few years ago in Oz I happened to go for a trim at Surfers Paradise in Queensland and it was a real old fashioned gents barbers with a row of great leather barber's seats, so big bruv and I signed up for a shave and the full works. I had an old boy with a Yul Brynner which didn't exactly inspire me as I'd heard the joke...
    Anyway, I got a fantastic shave and neck shave and they did my nose and ear hairs with a lighted taper. Saw it coming in the mirror and didn't know what the fcuk to do so I tensed myself and waited. He whizzed it round my nose and ears so quick I didn't feel a thing. Neck was a bit sore afterwards but I reckon it was the best shave I've ever had. The hairs in my ears took ages to grow back too. The smell of burning in your nose is a bit weird too. Hot towels were great.
    Gave the old boy a big tip for not slicing my ears off with the cutthroat razor. Quite an experience that. He'd also heard the Yul Brynner joke. :lol:
  12. Okay then, it sounds like trimming is the best option, though I may give the rusty bayonet a miss and go for the hair clippers on No.1 instead.

    What do you do if you take too much off and end up looking like an alien? Do you go for the full-on trans effect and draw them on, or do you just make up stories about your mates shaving them off while you were drunk?
  13. Go for the mates shaving them off whilst drunk.
  14. Slightly off-topic - the best haircut I ever received... walked into the Barber's, was offered a beer. Had my hair and sidies trimmed expertly by blerk with a cut-throat and steel comb, none of that clipper malarky. Was offered nose trim (on top of nose, not inside - I'm of a certain age!) which I declined. Had another beer, paid and left.

    ** Go for "me muckers did it" **
  15. I tried a no 3 first, then moved it down to a no 2, and finally went for a no 1. I was too much of a scaredy cat to go straight for a no 1 just in case it made me look like a space alien.

    <looks in the mirror>
    ...Oh, too late. :D