The Demon Drink - Lifesaver or Killer?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by FiveAlpha, Dec 4, 2008.

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  1. I was having a discussion with a mate last night and the conversation got round to this poser - "If you crashed in the desert and all you had to drink was beer, would it help you survive or speed up the killing process?"

    Well? Is any liquid preferable to none (except seawater, I think?) or would the dehydrating qualities of ale make your death quicker, albeit you wouldn't remember?

    I thought I'd ask on here as I know there's a shed load of alkies who haunt these boards. Over to you "Harry Ramps", map of Africa sporting, bunch of cunts.
  2. When posted in Lybia in the 60s the empty Tennants cans were a navigation aid just follow the trail
  3. i heard you can live on the stuff for 3 weeks.
  4. Whilst this is the NAAFI bar and I should probably give an amusing and inappropriate answer, it would speed up the dehydration as it is hypertonic and therefore requires water to be excreted by the kidneys to balance the solutes in the body (osmolarity).

    If you're going to die anyway, there are much worse ways to go. It'll be very refreshing as well.
  5. Only mad people drink water in Africa, disentry is a pain in the arrse
  6. It depends on the alcohol content of the beer mate. The tipping point is 10%.
    Less than 10% and you'll make a net gain, even allowing for the diuretic effect.
    More than 10% and you'll make a net loss and accelerate your dehydration.
    In short, you could walk across the Sahara, off your tits on a wheelbarrow full of Skol, no worries.
    But if you're a turps nudging old cunt like Auld_yin, you'd be dead within 24 hours.
    I'll drink to that.
  7. Short answer - you are gonna die.
  8. The real question that any beeer drinker should ask is "will there be a fridge at hand"? I'd rather drink The Snails pish, than warm beer.
  9. I the old days we used a CHUGGEL to keep the cans cold, that was the only use the local water was fit for.
  10. How did you clean your gnarled old root prior to dipping it in a small North African boy's behind?

    Edited because I ejaculated.
  11. That was what the beach camp at RAS EL TIN was for
  12. So it's true. It really was better in the old days.
  13. In a MacGyver like fashion, I would boil the beer... Alcohol gone... All good... Waste of good beer mind.
  14. Look, don't be silly. Beer, as any Central European will tell you, is only vitamins with water added. Drink lots of it before you hit the desert and you'll be okay for days. After that the urge for a greasy breakfast will drive you towards the nearest outpost.
  15. You could always recycle it until nothing comes out by then you will probably have such a hangover that death will be a good option