The Defender Defense Thread

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by TheIronDuke, Nov 7, 2012.

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  1. Landy. A proper Geezers car

  2. Suzuki. Would you like your hair extensions tinted?

    0 vote(s)
  3. Shogun. You want to buy a pony?

  4. Marry me, lovely Iron Duke

Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Nah, sorry my friends. I have ******* had it with threads on here.

    "Which 4x4?" Because I cannot ask around. On account of I am blind"

    "My bird needs a small 4X4 because we live in Stevanage"

    "The Landy Evoque. Does it look poncey, or what?"

    "My Renault Clio is making a funny noise and the door does not shut".

    "I am a girl with inadequate bladder control and I have just pissed myself. And my Suzuki hairdressers car will not start".

    Fucks sakes. Landy or death. Vote now.
  2. My Mercedes is lovely and it doesn't break down, neither did the last one. Now when I had land rovrs i'd very dry, rough skin, hands coated in grease, oil and gear oil. My money left my bank account and went straight to the spares shop.
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    ******* marvelous. The two people I most hate in the world.

    Care to post a pic of the Wagon? I do not lust after other mens motors, but the Wagon is so getting nicked when the nights draw in.

    The Hemi 6.2. Double up on the spark plugs so it costs £350 to change the ******* plugs? It is a lovely motor. But the dinosaurs were lovely too.

    Landy. Lovely.
  4. My last three vehicles have been Land Rovers: Series 2A, III and Defender 90 TDi soft top - (in my defence I need a soft top for work) It will be a shame to see the vehicle consigned to the motoring museums: The beauty of the Land Rover was/is that you can fiddle about with it. Roof off, door tops off, extra bits bolted on...

    It's built for the sticks but performs very well in Town - I can fly over speed bumps, wing traffic wardens, pile across mini roundabouts but best of all I can scare taxis and Addison Lee drivers.

    That said, what the the blue **** was that Defender SVX all about? So Guido could park on the pavement outside the salon?
  5. I did vote Landy...but mine 2004 disco is now majorly shagged. I have been using the Disco 3 as a work car so am no longer excited by the prospect of updating to one privately when I get home. I have been thinking XC90 just for a change. I'm a a mentalist?
  6. I think you ought to buy a thirty year old Mercedes instead of a new one and maintain it yourself. I think you will find the outcome is similar to that when you ran a thirty year old land rover and maintained it yourself.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Oh no the Land rovers weren't so old, nowhere near, one was a year old when I bought it. If we compared it to the last defender I sold when it was ten year old my last Mercedes was also ten years old when I sold that, guess which had more time in the garage?
  8. Landys, especially Series ones, are great for improving your knowledge of mechaniching, but if you like to drive just buy a car.

    In fact, if you're thinking of buying a Landy, buy a car as well then, as you're sat on the kerb with a dismantled front hub between your knees, you've read the Haynes manual and discovered that a 10lb hammer will do the job of special tool number so & so, and you find a seal/spring/broken bit/lost bit/you need to put the Landy back together, you'll have something driveable to go fetch it.

    Having put it back together, you will spend at least a day per week under it, topping up swivel joints, axles, diffs, transfer box, gearbox and overdrive, and generally getting covered in damp, oily cag in between banging your head on various protrusions. And you'll stand up, all manly, impressed with your ability, jump in, fire it up and with a throaty roar it will start; or not, or catch fire, or the radiator will spew its contents on your drive. And by now it's Sunday, the kids want to go somewhere but daddy's big car is still broken....but hooray, mummy's car works, because it wasn't built in the Midlands.
    • Like Like x 5
  9. The downside was/is that you have to fiddle about with it.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. I have a Range Rover, Before that I had a Discovery
    I've just sold my Series III FFR

    Land Rovers are for men, Range Rovers are for men who like comfort (however, Range Rover Sport's are for tarts. Evoque's are purely for girls)

    Toyota's are primarily designed for eunuch's, Mitsubishi is Japanese for metrosexual
    • Like Like x 2
  11. And that my froend, is why they break. Maintain it properly, using proper bits and proper tools and they are fine.
  12. I've got a 2002 Defender 90 in metallic grey and I love it! We live a couple of km down a dirt track that is about 45 degrees in places and the concrete drive up to the house IS 45 degrees! Put in a seat riser/putter backer which means my knees aren't up against the wheel (gives and extra 3 or 4 inches, oooo-er missus!) and also a centre console - both from 'Mud'

    Not happy about the 'new shape' Defenders being proposed.
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    The new HCPU looks interesting. Hard to see where you would stick a ton and a half of shite in the back, like you can with the old HCPU. But maybe they will fit an X-Box?

    Twat. Fair one. But still. Twat.
  14. I used to work on a siesmic survey crew in North Africa and middle east, off road 95% of the time, and the only 4x4 that came close to the 200tdi defender for all round ability was the landcruiser and even with a 4ltr engine that couldn't go up dunes that the Landy could. The worst 4x4 by far(!) was the the H1 Hummer... unreliable, labour intensive, and won't work a full day in the sand on one tank of fuel, its only good point was that you could train a monkey to drive it.
    Don't know what the newer defenders are like though.