The Day The Zombies Arrive....

What, within reach of your right hand, would be of most use to you when the zombies get here? (Which they will, they've started on the ants already.) Picture the scene - grey faced, slobbering, moaning and stinking, staggering toward you with one thing in mind. (I find it helps to visualise my ex after a pint or six). What do you have to hand and how would you use it?

I have a pair of scissors, a lot of cabling, a golf club (It's a "fun and modern office" ) and a hot cup of coffee. (Decaf scalding the fcuk out of the walking dead is about all it's good for.)

Also very tempted to say "my entire fcuking staff" - I've always said they were Zombie-fodder, but can't actually reach them from here. Bollox.

What about you?

 

Been done love, but I am always ready to talk Zombies. Anyway I have a Winchester defender to deal with their undead asses.

Make sure you destroy the brains

Just realised you meant to hand. The gun is upstairs in the cabinet so I would have to make do with a Black berry phone a speaker, 2 slices of marble cake and an empty mug of tea with a little left in it and some bits floating ( I'm a messy eater)

 

Mossberg pump with SG or slug. Works well enough on chuggers and bailiffs.

 

Awwww....

But... but... but... I like zombies. And I'm bored....

Nobody wants to play with me.

Winchester eh?

 

And what do you intend to do with that little lot?

Chuck the marble cake this way if you don't want it. Out of nausea and into bloody ravenous this afternoon for some reason. Surrender all cake and no one needs to get hurt.

 

Within reach of my right hand? My tool, I'd get a stiffie from playing with you, (somebody does you see) leap up in the air at each one like Brad Pitt did in Troy, and beat their heads in with it.

Otherwise it means the lap top...fuck that!

 

I have a load of CD's...

 

Always prepared,

 

my Creative speaker setup for the pc would make a fair blunt instrument...as would my bass guitar...if not I've got a Leatherman Super within grasping distance and a 21" ASP on the bedside table...my 6 D-cell maglite (aka the bouncer's friend) is around here somewhere too...as is as my US issue aircrew survival knife...I'm worried about zombie attack now...

 

My phone...to call the rest of the zombie defence league, all 1259 of them... although they'll have to fly over coz I'm hundreds of miles away. Hijack a superpuma, nae bother.

But they clearly state that they can guarantee my safety so if they can't I'll fucking sue (assuming I survive).

Apart from this I have a wii zapper which is dead on for killing CoD zombies but somehow I don't think it'll cope with a full on apocalypse

 

On the bog fighting to push what appears to be a solid object out of my arse at the moment (last nights curry has a lot to answer for). I'd throw that at the 1st one then after that I'm down to bog roll, a bathroom mat and some lynx shower gel.

That's me fucked then. See you on the other side.

 

In retrospect, not the most well thought out comment there... face/palm. Sounds like you think quite highly of your, er, weapon, Spacetout?

CDs: Good for swiping.

Jebote: She pretty!

 

Boozy that's genius! A zombie insurance policy that's whats needed in every household.

Better than that alien abduction insurance nonsense. I mean what are the odds of that happening, bloody swizz I tells ya.

 

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't coming in their rotting droves to eat your brains hun. It's ok....

 

It was a privilege to have been wiped out with you Sir.