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The day I conquered...



Roll up, roll up one and all, tell us your tales of derring do, thoughtless chivalry and acts of heroism....

North Carolina..1990...something..

Ex Purple Star..I conquered the shit out of North or South Carolina once...wherever Fort Bragg is..?

Mac fired a dummy Milan at an invisible tank and the umpire declared it a kill....fucking belter...!

Anyone else ever conquered anything?

(I also shagged a fat lass on a Mercedes bonnet in Sennybridge once...does that count?..)


I once did one of those right turn things, whilst walking on the square, without getting thrashed with a pace stick and getting to run about with a rifle over my head. The joy!


You OK, or do you want AA to come round?

Step away from the Brasso and go to bed.
Jesus, stop, I say stop, all ARRSE references to fucking Brasso, paint stripper, Turps and all the rest, it's fucking shite, it's almost as bad as the ' I changed a word in your post' fucking tripe...tantamount to berating every single new poster on this fucking site, and Jarrods shit cunt fuckflute ball bagged bollocks of wanting to ream every cunts arrse on here...you're gay, who gives a fuck J...?


...what have you conquered...?


That's nothing, I conquered Everest.

The cunts kept phoning me up and trying to sell double glazing.

So I told them to fuck off.