The day I conquered...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 3123, May 31, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Roll up, roll up one and all, tell us your tales of derring do, thoughtless chivalry and acts of heroism....

    North Carolina..1990...something..

    Ex Purple Star..I conquered the shit out of North or South Carolina once...wherever Fort Bragg is..?

    Mac fired a dummy Milan at an invisible tank and the umpire declared it a kill....fucking belter...!

    Anyone else ever conquered anything?

    (I also shagged a fat lass on a Mercedes bonnet in Sennybridge once...does that count?..)
  2. Fuck off....
  3. You OK, or do you want AA to come round?

    Step away from the Brasso and go to bed.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. I once did one of those right turn things, whilst walking on the square, without getting thrashed with a pace stick and getting to run about with a rifle over my head. The joy!
  5. I once went to France, I think that counts as conquering. They never put up much resistance.
  6. I played conkers but it hurt my knuckles.
  7. I had a cup of latte in a gay all night cafe in Brighton.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Only if you do it properly. That's whilst looking like everyone else is wrong....

    You can't help giving the hips a wiggle when you do do it.
  9. Jesus, stop, I say stop, all ARRSE references to fucking Brasso, paint stripper, Turps and all the rest, it's fucking shite, it's almost as bad as the ' I changed a word in your post' fucking tripe...tantamount to berating every single new poster on this fucking site, and Jarrods shit cunt fuckflute ball bagged bollocks of wanting to ream every cunts arrse on're gay, who gives a fuck J...?


    ...what have you conquered...?
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Why did we all have to change step, surely we weren't all wrong.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. That's nothing, I conquered Everest.

    The cunts kept phoning me up and trying to sell double glazing.

    So I told them to fuck off.
    • Like Like x 9
  12. I've conquered watching coronation street and looking like I'am fucking interested.
  13. Of course you were, my Mum who was watching said so.....