The dangers of going ugly early...

#1
#5
msr said:
Obese women have four times as many unplanned pregnancies as healthy-weight women despite having less sex,
well its obvious...all them lovely, warm, sweaty folds incubate the sperm for longer meaning us curvy birds can get pregnant from one bunk-up for up to 6 months!!
 
#7
spaz said:
It's because they don't wash, the lazy, sweaty, fat, cunts.
to be fair the only way to get right into the creases is with a toothbrush, but they're very scratchy!!
 
#9
hmmm....don't know if it'd get underneath into the arrse crack which, after missionary, would be optimal tadpole storage space!! Then when you stand up, it just seeps back down guntwards!!
 
#12
spaz said:
bigbird67 said:
spaz said:
It's because they don't wash, the lazy, sweaty, fat, cunts.
to be fair the only way to get right into the creases is with a toothbrush, but they're very scratchy!!
Strapped to a roof rack and through a carwash should do it.
Leaving your car looking like it has been on a road trip round the beaches of gulf of Mexico.
 
#13
i'm thinking more the Top Gear american road trip where JC (bows down in wonder) had a dead, rotting cow on his roofrack for the roadkill supper challenge

 
F

Fablonbiffchit

Guest
#14
I banged a right fat bird once. She was from Stowmarket and I thought I'd beat the queue and save my money trying to bag a tasty bint and went in for a fatty early to avoid embarassment. That and the fact that I was skint. And that I also a penchant for fatbirds as they were always grateful. As was I. Anyway went bareback and by buggery (literally) she was great. When she got on top I was breathless afterwards. Fat birds are great too so dont believe all the bollocks. Also as BIGBIRD says you can put little bit of a donor kebab in their folds so when you are hungry after all that humping and pumping you can have a snack . Win Win.
 
#15
Fablonbiffchit said:
you can put little bit of a donor kebab in their folds so when you are hungry after all that humping and pumping you can have a snack . Win Win.
Keeps it warm too!
 
F

Fablonbiffchit

Guest
#16
bigbird67 said:
Fablonbiffchit said:
you can put little bit of a donor kebab in their folds so when you are hungry after all that humping and pumping you can have a snack . Win Win.
Keeps it warm too!
Put it up their love tunnel and it keeps it moist too so it doesnt dry out too much. But be careful not to mistake the kebab meat for their beef curtains :lick: as you may have gotten too much to munch on :hungry: and if they're ginger the taste would be of a fishy kebab. :pukel:
 
#17
fuck off....chilli fucking sauce?? I don't bloody think so!!!
 
F

Fablonbiffchit

Guest
#18
Chilli sauce and also the lettuce and tomatoes would go a treat up a fat minge just to be kept moist.
 
#19
as a bonus, if she's not had 7 multicoloured kids and thereby a flange like a well weathered windsock on a Hebridean airfield, she can then amuse you by firing cherry tomatoes out of the passenger windows at artics passing the layby!!
 
#20
God you are a seductive bitch! Name yer laybye.
 

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