The customer is not always right


A few quotes:

A few years ago, I worked the night shift at an adult video store. We also sold sex toys. Earlier that night, I sold a vibrating butt plug to a man. Three hours later he came back demanding a exchange because the plug don't work. Because of health regulations we are not allowed to do returns or exchanges. A No refunds was also posted. He got very angry and threatened to call the police. He asked to use my phone to call the police and I said no. He attempts to turn on the butt plug and nothing happens and again he demands a return. We go around again. I take a look at the power pack (the power pack is hooked up to the plug with wires thus allowing the user to engage the plug remotely). I tried to replace the batteries that he had in there. Turned out that the plug required C batteries and he had put in D batteries. After putting the proper size batteries in the plug, I turned it on and it worked. I let him have the batteries for free. He left in a hurry without so much as an apology. I regret not allowing him to call the police.

I work at a gift shop and we sell gags, novelties, etc. Well, one day a lady comes in and wants to return an open bottle of hot motion lotion, as well as a gag vibrator known as the "Cucumber". Well we do accept returns as long as you have a receipt within 45 days or a same exchange, or store credit. Well when she gets to the register I was disgusted when I saw the merchandise.
The lotion was all over the bottle as well as the Cucumber! I asked her if there was anything wrong with it and she replied "yeah, it wasn't big enough". I immediately turned and looked at the manager and asked her to help this women with her exchange because I was grossed out. The Cucumber is like 10" and huge. Not to mention all the kinds of lotion all over it. It was gross!!
Wife was out shopping then....? :twisted:
A few months ago I got called out at 0600 to a customer who`s car had cut out on the local bypass. I`d had two hours sleep in the last 36 so wasn`t in the best of moods. Turned up on scene to a 52 plate Bmw 5 series, chap dressed in expensive suit hanging in gold, I tried to start car, looked at fuel gauge, it showed empty and the orange light was on.
I told the chap he was out of fuel, no says he, the pump has packed up. Lets put some fuel in and find out, have you got means of paying for the fuel says I. Yes said the chap. I duly dumped in fifteen litres of diesel, turned the key and hey presto as if by magic the car started. There you go says I, that wasn`t the problem says the chap, I`m not driving the car, Take me to the nearest dealer.
After a talk with my boss I hitched up the car and took it to the dealer about two miles away. Upon dropping the car (still running) and completing the paperwork I asked for the money for the fuel (company paid for). I`m not paying for that, it wasn`t the problem says he. Being absolutely knackered I left the scene and went home well pissed off.
I did manage to get his address off the office computer and a week later made a late call there and pumped a can of expanding foam down his exhaust, suffice to say we got the recovery the next day 8)
"The customer is not always right"
He is according to the Mamasan of mi mates usual knocking shop and she says the customer always cums first.
im a postie and i know customer are never righ,t especially the moany old gits, i always love to wind up the chavs who refuse to put a cage behind the door to protect my hand from dogs, so i simply post their giros/cheques first and keep a tight hold of it while the dogs rips it to shreds and post the rest :twisted:

Victor meldrews are a bane of posties, however by refusing to listen and walking away and leaving their gates wide open causing them to get worked up,usually take them one step further to the grave always gives me satisfaction as i will be around when they are six feet under, if they are particularly nasty i would skif their post up along my ring and watch them touch it afterward :twisted:

fat middle aged old bints with a moustache ,sexually frustrated and stinks of 2 years old rotted fish with thin husbands seemed to be a different breed altogether, the husband is usually ok, however the frump seems to be the moany picky one with a major chip on her shoulder, i just do the opposite of what she wants me to do until she says "Please" and show me some respect.

however genuinely nice old dears and disabled customer i will make time for and will assist them in any way i can even picking up the milk for them.

im now a night turn lorry driver (Still Royal Mail) i now now longer see the cnuts and i am quite happy, i get paid more and no old fcukers to bother me :D
Semper the Postie wrote

i always love to wind up the chavs who refuse to put a cage behind the door to protect my hand from dogs, so i simply post their giros/cheques first and keep a tight hold of it while the dogs rips it to shreds and post the rest

Rotweiller or Stafford no doubt!

That has made my day and it's only 0730. You Sir, are a star!