The Cushiest Posting in The World

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Vegetius, Sep 8, 2005.

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  1. I was talking to a DS the other day who reckoned he has the cushiest posting in The World. I won't say exactly what it is for fear of recognition, but it involves "liaison," a fair bit of international travel, a company credit card and lots of five star hotels. As he's a pretty nice bloke I'm not begrudging him it, despite the fact that my career to date has generally involved (A) dealing with recidivist neanderthals on a regular basis, (B) lurking around dodgy council estates and (C) having to explain the point of my existence to people who haven't left a reclining chair and "Development Seminar" lifestyle for fifteen years.

    One of my old bosses, for example, became the Chief Constable of the fcuking Turks and Caicos Islands FFS. Another bloke I worked with spent three years in Bermuda coppering, working on his tan and shagging bored banker's wives. Tough at the top. Even the person I knew who went to Boz on some UN junket made a small fortune and worked his way through a load of crumpety interpreters.

    Anyhow, what's it like in the regular army? There must be some extremely fcuking jammy postings everybody wants. I remember meeting a squaddie who'd spent three years as a sort of FO gopher/ driver in Hong Kong in the 80's which he described as the best job you could ever hope for; your own flat, motor, laid-back bosses and regular working hours.

    I dream of the day when I become the Met's Beach Volleyball Liaison Officer for the 2012 olympics here in Gotham. What would be your ideal cushy posting, or what ones have you or mates actually done?

  2. For me it was a tour in Belize. Half a (measly) year of whoring down Rosie's, getting bladdered in Mex or San Ped every weekend, and generally not busting my spuds off. Ch. Const. of the Turks & Caicos feds? Niiiice.
  3. I knew a crab WO who, as a Sgt back in the mid 60s, was posted to RAF Luqa in Malta and, since he had an offshore master's ticket, had the sole task of handling and taking care of the Staish's yacht- and the Staish didn't sail. He did nothing but mong around the Med for three years.

    I also knew of a Cpl tecchie who went over to the Maldives on his honeymoon and ran into a couple of SACs. I can't remember what he said they were doing there, but I do remember him saying that they had been there for six months and were bored. FFS. In sympathy, he bought them the moon on a stick and he and his good lady wife went on their merry way.

    We also had a Chief Tech on our Sqn who "worked" the VAS (Visiting Aircraft Section) at a place called Gan, on some Indian Ocean atoll that we owned until Dennis Healy came up with the East of Suez policy. They only had maybe 4 movements a week, tops. The rest of the time was spent sunning himself and picking his arrse."

    God, wouldn't it be great to have the empire back, even if it's only for the sweet postings? What do we have worth sh1tting on now? Gib & Cyprus. Anywhere else hot and sunny HM forces are likely to be sent present the risk of being shot at, and who wants that?
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  4. We had an ex-Foreign Legionaire in our TA INT CORPS squad. Seriously. Not the ubiquitous walt, a real why-the-fcuk-did-I-do-that? Legionaire.

    He had a posting as a PTI surfboarding instructor somewhere hot and sunny for twelve months!

    Beau Geste my arrse!

  5. Oooh I dunno, a certain undisclosed DS saying " Hogspawn youre a good chap and I can trust you, if you need a few hours for this careers seminar at NSY just take the day, I'll write you off!"

    And the pub at 1400 was very, very nice :)
  6. Oh for the days of the Cold War, where a bottle of scotch delivered in a timely manner to a Brize Norton loadie could get you on the manifest for a jolly to Hong Kong if you were stuck for something to do.

    Fcuking movers fcuked that up for everyone too. Cnuts.
  7. Guy I know got a graduate job as 'International Liaison' for some major corporate lot. His job was to fly to places like Grand Cayman, Hong Kong, Sydney, New York...

    ...and not to have any work to do there, because the regional offices were über suspicious of this guy from Head Office poking round. So he'd have a half hour meeting with the local boss, who told him that everything there was fine, and then had two weeks of sod all till his next job in Honolulu.

    All expenses paid, of course.
  8. Brunei Police Post, a two man RMP Det with very little crime and apart from regular Ghurka Road Traffic Accidents there is little to do but spend your days playing sports, golf and sitting by the pool in the Panaga Club (A civvi Shell oil club). Oh and before I forget and travelling across the border to shag the very welcoming local ladies in Miri, Sarawak, Malaysia.

    :p for all those who have not got there yet

  9. JATOC - my last job in the Army.
    RAF working hours, 3 weeks on, two weeks off. A Flt Lt for making decisions, SACs (including WRAF, when they still existed) for making tea and phone calls (and decisions, in lieu of Flt Lt). The Strip most nights, HLS recce (watching the cricket) when the sun shone. Letching out of the windows at HQNI, pretty civil servants' secretaries next door.
  10. Detached Adventure training instructor postings have got to be the best.

    Far away from the boss and doing something you like for 12 months of the year? What can be better than that.

    Managed to get myself on one of those once but only for 6 months.
    Spent the entire 6 months swanning around the prettier bits of Europe teaching advanced drinking techniques to HQ staffs from various cap badges.

    Oh along with the odd splash about in a canoe as well.
  11. got summat like that meself but far more stringent... had to go mountain biking once a week.... and we always had a few spanners who would come off the bikes and break various bones so I would be stuck under a mountain of paperwork for 6 days...(all two forms to fill in) which meant adventure drinking for 6 days to recoup lol
  12. A friend of my fathers son spent his summers sailing his winter skiing .Father had enough get a job or no more funds .Joined army as
    pti type person summer sailing winters skiing :lol: .
  13. They say that working for an embassy's defense attachée's office is one of the best kept secrets of the military. Probably applies in the British case as well. My dad's in the foreign service, I can see where they're coming from.

    I am most envious, however, of the Montana National Guardsmen that did their year deployment in the War on Terror guarding RAF Alconbury. I spent my year in the desert getting shot at at all hours of the night, no alcohol, no women, they'd do their 12 hour watch, or whatever, then go down the pub for a pint. My kind of war.

  14. C-T, I don't think we've got enough troops to deploy to all of our embassies, though most of the security people who ARE there are ex-mil. Though it isn't that easy a ride - look at what happened in Istanbul a short while ago.
  15. For me it was a four month tour at MacDill AFB, Tampa. We stayed in a 4 star hotel for the whole duration of the tour and recieved $2000 a month cash for food........... it was a difficult tour.