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The criminal baboons terrorising South Africa

#1
I have my very own fond encounters with these feckers. In the cape's parking lot I kicked an aggressive grown male in the nuts hard enough to send him flying. Fecker was about to enter the car through the boot with kids in the back seat & I wasn't gonna take any chances. He winced, moand and legged it, holding his balls. The wildlife guard burst out laughing, me thinks they love to poke baboons with their long wooden sticks. They are a plague though and they know full well that humans get intimidated by their fangs. Your stories?

BBC News - The criminal baboons terrorising South Africa

Whether it's the beautiful scenery, sea breezes or deep history, tourists flock to the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa in droves.

But now there is one visitor that the people of the Cape peninsula would rather live without.

The region is already grappling with one of the highest crime rates in the world; now it's got a new intruder to contend with.
 
#2
I have my very own fond encounters with these feckers. In the cape's parking lot I kicked an aggressive grown male in the nuts hard enough to send him flying. Fecker was about to enter the car through the boot with kids in the back seat & I wasn't gonna take any chances. He winced, moand and legged it, holding his balls. The wildlife guard burst out laughing, me thinks they love to poke baboons with their long wooden sticks. They are a plague though and they know full well that humans get intimidated by their fangs.

BBC News - The criminal baboons terrorising South Africa

Whether it's the beautiful scenery, sea breezes or deep history, tourists flock to the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa in droves.

But now there is one visitor that the people of the Cape peninsula would rather live without.

The region is already grappling with one of the highest crime rates in the world; now it's got a new intruder to contend with.
It wasn't until I saw the BBC link that I realized you were actually talking about apes..

Nice 110 by the way, I have a similar looking 90.
 
#3
Cheers, the 110 was axed recently and replaced :( what to do, crises and all? Baboons are monkeys (old primates I think, can't remember now) but not apes. Baboons is in the title btw.
 
#4
Cheers, the 110 was axed recently and replaced :( what to do, crises and all? Baboons are monkeys (old primates I think, can't remember now) but not apes. Baboons is in the title btw.
Yes I realize - I initially assumed it was a politically incorrect euphemism, do you see?

Shame about the Landy - I still use mine for work which is my thinly spread justification for having one in London.
 
#5
Yes I realize - I initially assumed it was a politically incorrect euphemism, do you see?

Shame about the Landy - I still use mine for work which is my thinly spread justification for having one in London.
The politically incorrect euphemism is 'Snoobab' - backwards baboons.
 
#6
we don't have a baboon problem here in Brunei, but regularly get invaded by long-tailed macaques. the main troop of about 40 comes by our house about once a fortnight, patrolling through looking for food. i began going out and feeding them from the beginning of our tour, and have spent many a contented hour sat surrounded by these "aggressive" monkeys in the back garden, the closest coming within inches.

they do a lot of teeth baring, posturing and running at you aggressively, but once you conquer your instinctive reaction and realise that it's just a bluff - then they are dead easy to be around. they are far more scared of you than vice versa, even if they have got 3" fangs.

some of the guys out here remain scared of them and just can't see the positive side. our little family loves sitting outside feeding them - my baby daughter was giggling away at them today as we sat feeding about 20 of them on the front door step.

they are cheeky ******* though. they frequently invade the kitchen and steal food; even went in one day to find the dominant male sat on the draining board, trying to open a tupperware tub full of nuts. he got into aggressive crouch and bared teeth etc, but it's easy once you know they are full of shit: shut the kitchen door and told him he wasn't getting out till he dropped the tupperware. sure he had no idea what the **** i was on about, but he dropped the tub and i opened the door and let him out.

had a couple of them fighting in our hallway once - which was startling, but the worst thing was that one of them shat all over the rug. still it was funny watching one of them trying to escape through the open patio doors and repeatedly running into the glass!

ho hum. i really like the little buggers, beats having squirrels like in the UK!
 
#8
bobbejane, pyn in die gat! Trying to avoid the hairy pink arsed befanged buggers on a bike is hard work, but like Viceroy I found a swift toe to the balle of a big male rummaging in my topbox whilst wearing motocross boots to be highly effective! Personally I blame all the bleddy Transvaalers (verstopping die pinic / braai areas en voeding van die bobbejane!)
 
#9
I found a pic of way back when of the one I mentioned in post no.1. He got lucky shortly after and did grab someones bag of apples. I went back since and had one in my bedroom at Simonstown with my 4 year old sitting on the bed not knowing what was happening. He walked cooly past her, toward the food and looked at me, acknowledging my presence but without a worry in the world. I went ballistic (one is supposed to stay calm and retreat), did grab my cricket bat I started swinging. The guy took off in a hurry, but sadly I missed. My South African neighbour saw it darting out of my place and just laughed, the fecker... baboon111.jpg
 
#14
Bleddy Transvaalers, parking their bakkies all over the place and scaring the locals in their budgie strangler shorts ( and less of the mincing!..)
At least budgie smugglers have backs. Those butt floss turd splitter codpieces the Capetonian saddle sniffers waddle around in even make them mince funny.

Bakkies are for winners! Stick a braai and a cool box full of beer in the back and it's like a mobile entertainment centre.
 
#15
Fourteen posts into the thread and not one mention of Julius Malema? For shame, boys, for shame.

Edited to add: My favourite memory of a criminal baboon was watching one dive through a plate glass window when he clocked the .45 pointed at him. Oh, how I laughed.
 
#17
A mate who manufactures pepper spray he flogs to various mil and police units around the world told me of an instance where a bloke had just bought a canister of the stuff and was on his way to work in the car. Stopped at a light and was reading the label and instructions when he clocked someone putting an arm through the window reaching for his briefcase. Turned the canister and gave him a little whiff, whereupon would be thief squealed like a violated canoeist, grabbed his face and stepped back into the now moving traffic. Bloke in car decided to go round the block and check things out. On his way past the spot again he saw the turkey squatting on the centre island and screaming blue murder as his mates tried to wipe it off. Top drills!
 
#18
Fourteen posts into the thread and not one mention of Julius Malema? For shame, boys, for shame.

Edited to add: My favourite memory of a criminal baboon was watching one dive through a plate glass window when he clocked the .45 pointed at him. Oh, how I laughed.

Julius Malema!Ag man dat commie baster is om sy eie gat, hopelik sal hy veroorsaak dat die broers in die ANC te begin binnegevegte, my ek sal staan ​​op die kant en gooi petrol op die halssnoere vir die fokkers.Bastards, korrupte van die Staatspresident down ....and breath (nurse pass me a whiskey and my purdeys, there'e a malema on my stoep!!)
 
#19
Julius Malema!Ag man dat commie baster is om sy eie gat, hopelik sal hy veroorsaak dat die broers in die ANC te begin binnegevegte, my ek sal staan ​​op die kant en gooi petrol op die halssnoere vir die fokkers.Bastards, korrupte van die Staatspresident down ....and breath (nurse pass me a whiskey and my purdeys, there'e a malema on my stoep!!)
"Issues", Huscarl - or just not a fan of Juju? :)
 
#20
"Issues", Huscarl - or just not a fan of Juju? :)
Both! I have bleddy issues with the ANC also had issues with the NP,the AWB & the verdoem Transvaalers (Gauteng and Mpumalanga just don't cut it when dissing another province!) getting all the best braai spots!, I had hoped they may (or was I being too naive being swept along with the release and election of Mandela!) just be different from just about every other government on the continent. Zuma and Malema just typify why the country's going to the dogs. There's a reason why the Western Cape and Cape Town do not really vote ANC omdat hulle 'n trop van kriminele bobbejane!

(and now I really must lie down. NURSE, more whisky and where's my bleddy Purdeys! There's now a Zuma on my stoep!)
 

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