The Crappest Shag Youve ever had !

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by GUNGA, Jul 12, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I think the worst shag I ever had was when I was 69'ing with this well upholstered busty bird and she farted in my face and then squirted me in liquid log...nasty. It dampened my ardour and 'ardon for quite some time.
  2. No I swear it !
  3. It's like Chubb and Dashing_Chap have spawned a child. Dad visits at weekends to bum you and for the rest of the week you get dribbled on by Chubb and Nathan
  4. I think it was your mother who been the crappist Ive slept with.

  5. How dare you.

    Whilst I am both a virgin and a liar, I would never sully my pristine romper suit by associating with Chubb.

    Yours Aye &cetera

  6. bollox- beat me to it :twisted:
  7. On the other hand it could have been the bird with piles I shagged up the back door - it was like f*cking a pile of pulsating worms.Lovely >
  8. "fit" bird down local bakery when i as younger..........turned out she was frigid!! more concerned about her looks :(
  9. mysteron

    mysteron LE Book Reviewer

    Gunga - we know you are lying because your lips are moving. Now fcuk off and jog on.

    Mods - an O2 tag for one times troll pse.
  10. And you said "Bo11ox, I'm not doing that another 68 times"
  11. All my shags are crap. They all last less than a minute. 8O
  12. Sometimes the best looking are the worst, that was certainly the case when I had the fortune of porking a young ballerina. Whereas most of the more ordinary girls try a lot harder due to lack of confidence in looks & narcissism, which is also why I rarely pay compliments, to put them on a pedestal is to breed an egotist.

    On the other hand, the prettiest girlie I've had the pleasure with was actually this Friday just gone. I'm still desperately trying to maintain my composure & dally to her, but I fear she already holds my heart & will prove to be the construction of my dishonour. Had she had taken it up the ricker it would probably have been the greatest day of my life.


  13. cnut
  14. Living proof that care in the community has failed.

    Gunga needs to be locked in a victorian institution where brutal attendants impose discipline with canvas straitjackets, kidney punches and sand filled socks. If he won't take his medication voluntarily he can be pinned down and injected with a dosage that reduces him to a shambling zombie for a month at a time.

    A few years of that and he'll be just like.......his grandfather. An incoherent dribbling wretch who soiled himself daily and was beaten everytime he fondled his shriveled genitals. Its just a pity that he was able to impregnate the village idiot (his sister) before being commited to the asylum.