The crane and my pigs arse

Discussion in 'REME' started by TheIronDuke, Oct 30, 2012.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Hello my little Chickadees. Please wash your hands and scrub under your fingernails before responding? Thanks.

    Right. First off, the crane. It is 70 floors up above Manhattan. And it has all gone a bit shit-shaped.

    shit shaped.jpg

    How would one deal with such a situation? It is not like you could bring in a mobile crane to get up to that height. And poodling about undoing bolts with 10 tons of steel girders wafting about in the breeze would seem like a dodgy option.

    You cannot blow the legs out, because that will drop the lot onto some of the most expensive real estate on the planet.

    I'll come back to to the problem of my pigs arse in time. It is an engineering issue and I would value your input. But for now... the crane. How are the Septics going to sort that one?
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  2. Prayer breakfasts.
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  3. Helicopter? Big FO helicopter?

    Or maybe that hovering UFO they have locked away in Area 51?

    Call for superman to lift it away?
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    Give it some Viagra - it looks like its suffering from brewer's droop...

    • Like Like x 2
  5. Its all very simple. Just attach a very long strong cable to the broken bit and gently lower it down.

    Or, attach tons of explosives to it and it will vaporise in a huge explosion, which will have them all thinking its a new skyscraper day.
  6. Just don't let it crash onto my nieces' bedroom in the building opposite.
  7. Why are you asking the REME? Their solution was always big hammer or little hammer and in this case it's bloody BIG hammer!!
    • Like Like x 4
  8. Use the cranes you can't see on top of the building to take it apart, the same way they would take it down if it wasn't bent.
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  9. Yep. Winches, cables, BFO metalsaws, and lots of scheming little hebes rubbing their hands in delight ove rthe impending insurance fraud opportunities.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Crane goes up in sections with some sort of hydraulic jacking system. I'd imagine you would lower the whole crane back down to the ground and cut the boom off with a gas axe.
  11. (On Ops only) Blow it in Situ using a Steel cutting charge on the remainder of the jib and just let it drop to ground level.


    Wait until the wind drops below 20mph and Secure the damaged structure to the as built steel work on the building using steelwire ropes and shackles.

    Then using a man lift from the other cranes, dismantle from the jib end up to the tower, removing the damaged sections up and onto the roof, in conjunction with removing the counterweight at the same time.

    ptn:- If the Crane Op had left the crane on free slew it wouldn't have happened as it would have turned away from the wind, cranes can withstand higher windloading than what that one experienced.
  12. Hellfire.
  13. They obviously don't have fookin' pikeys in Manhattan if it's still there at all.
    • Like Like x 5
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Can't we get a couple of friendly middle eastern types with an aircraft to assist.

    They brought down a couple of towerblocks near that location a few years ago.
  15. You gif file is the greatest, ever...
    • Like Like x 1