The Corps of Reality Check NCO's

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by crimsonhussar, Oct 6, 2011.

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  1. With my last year in Her Majesties services looming i have had to turn my thoughts to finding a worthwhile occupation, post Army. I have a cunning plan that would see me in gainful employment and also aid some fellow arrsers at the same time. I want to create the Corps of Reality Check NCO's. In a nutshell their role would be as follows:

    attend all House of Commons/Lords sittings and be in attendance at Cabinet meetings and also meetings of local councils. (Not the same bloke for all obviously as that would be a big ask, hence a whole Corps of them). Court hearings could also benefit from a reality check NCO. All the reality check NCO does is listen......................... Once one of the numpties that make up all of these political meetings make a non common sensical comment that has danger of being written into law the Reality Check NCO leaps into action by standing up, raising his right arm in the air and shouting, loud enough to grab attention but not so loud as to scare the luvvies, "WHOA! would the honourable lady/gentleman repeat the proposition and think about what you have just said". I know that generally they aren't honourable but we have to maintain some sense of decorum.

    In the (likely) event that the honourable numpty doesn't understand the stupidity of the comment made the reality Check NCO would explain in simple common sense language to clarify the issue. An example would be:

    Cabinet office, the idiot Clarke, justice secretary suggests halving all prison sentences to reduce overcrowding - Cue the reality Check NCO. WHOA..................... etc etc etc. On the justice secretary not understanding the error of his ways the reality Check NCO would give him solid reasons as to what a fucking stupid idea he has just had and that he should put his fucking hands in his pockets and build more jails or remove Sky, PS3, double beds, flat screen TVs etc from the current jail cells and pack the thieving pikey and murdering rapists bastards in at the rate 5 per 6' by 6' cell with no toilet facilities. the Reality Check NCO then simply sits down to allow the speaker to reconsider his/her original suggestions.

    For what suggestions would you lot, as Reality Check NCOs jump in and what advice would you give our Lords and Masters? Who wants to join my Corps?
  2. I think you are soon going to be living in a cardboard box under a bridge with only a bottle of meths for company...
  3. Yeah, that would be my Reality Check i suppose......................