The Cock, the Crab and the Crowing. Secret disposal techniques

#1
I have a little problem. My next door neighbor who is a Cock of the first order, has acquired a cockerel which crows all fucking day and all fucking night. This is being done deliberately by the Cock who bought the aforesaid cockerel IMHO to piss me off. I think he feeds it boosters
Now this person formerly had chickens which he got pissed of with and gave away, a goat who suffered the same fate and a cat who got blamed for shitting on his patio and stoned til it left (the shit was cane toad) and bought the rooster to piss me off.
Now I dont have a prob with the rooster because I grew up on a farm, neither did the missus but she would love to cook it. The problem I have is that the bastard got it to try and piss me off therefore it has to go.]

The added complication is the neighbor is a member, by marriage of the family, and an ex rockape and as the rest of them think I am a barbarian this has to be done with cunning, guile, slime and deceit so arrows are out as is blowing its head with shot. It has to be silent and untraceable. The response when told has to be"Oh really, my goodness. Demise of the rockape in the execution, is of no account. Your mission , should you choose to accept it ...............
 
#4
Advise / threaten that he should raise it's perch.
 
#5
Lawn food/fertiliser pellets sprinkled where the rooster can eat them ...
 
#6
Not the rooster's fault he's a RAF Reg mong. Better to stuff a fresh turd and a pork chop through his letterbox when he's away, then wait for the flies to take over his house.
 
#9
cane toad crap!!hints of queensland, roundup and corn will solve your problem!!
 
#10
You could always do some cock au van - run the cock over in a van!

STILTS
 

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