The Cloggies prefer a crap to a shag

#1
This is from the latest edition of "Der Spiegel":

Was genießt der Holländer am meisten? Sex? Amore? - Von wegen! Die Bewohner unseres Nachbarlandes ziehen jeglicher Zweisamkeit die Einsamkeit vor - und zwar auf dem Klo. Das zumindest ist das Ergebnis einer aktuellen Umfrage.

Amsterdam - Sex genießen Holländer angeblich längst nicht so sehr wie einen gemütlichen Toilettenbesuch. Ein gutes Gespräch unter Freunden rangiert bei ihnen auf Platz zwei der persönlichen Genuss-Skala - und damit ebenfalls noch deutlich vor der körperlichen Liebe. Das geht aus einer am Donnerstag veröffentlichten Umfrage mit 1000 erwachsenen Teilnehmern hervor, die von der niederländischen Nachrichtenagentur ANP als "repräsentativ" bezeichnet wurde.

Bei der Frage, was sie "am meisten genießen" würden, kreuzten 88 Prozent der Teilnehmer den Toilettenbesuch an. Freizeitaktivitäten in der Natur kamen bei der vom Institut Intomart GfK im Auftrag des populärwissenschaftlichen Magazins "Quest" durchgeführten Befragung auf den dritten Rang. Sex landete mit 21 Prozent auf dem vierten.

Das Ergebnis könnte auch eine Erklärung dafür sein, warum Holländer bekanntermaßen ihre Geburtstagskalender mit den Daten der Ehrentage ihrer Freunde und Verwandten mit Vorliebe in der Toilette aufhängen.
And here's a swift translation for those not quite up to it language-wise:

What do the Dutch enjoy most? Sex? L’amour? – Missed by a mile! The inhabitants of our neighbouring country (to Germany) much prefer solitude to togetherness – that means on the bog. That, at least, is the result of a recent survey.

Amsterdam – The Dutch apparently enjoy a cosy visit to the toilet much more than sex. They place a good discussion among friends in second place on their personal “pleasure-scale” – thus also clearly in front of physical love. That is the result of a survey of 1,000 adult participants published on Thursday and described as “statistically significant” by the Dutch news agency ANP.

Asked what gave them “most pleasure”, 88 percent of the participants ticked a visit to the toilet. Outdoor leisure activities came in third place in the survey conducted by the Intomart GfK institute on behalf of the popular-science magazine "Quest". Sex occupied fourth place in the list with 21 percent.

The result could be an explanation for the well-known fact that the Dutch like to hang their calendars with the birthdays of their friends and relatives in the toilet.


I'm still not really sure if this is a piss-take or not. Maybe Cloggie can offer us some insight, or indeed any other ARRSEr who's conversant with the habits and culture of the Dutch.

MsG
 
#2
I prefer to split the difference and have a crap shag.
 

Schaden

On ROPS
On ROPs
Book Reviewer
#3
Well it must be said you can always put off a shag and come back later while with a good shit on the other hand.....
 
#4
Well I thought the Dutch actually liked to do both at the same time, going by some of the websites and bongo mags I've seen. In fact the original name of the Cleveland Steamer was in fact "Chjestie shijyt Rotterdammer stemen crappen", or "Dutch buffet".
 
#5
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
 
#7
Cloggie said:
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
Bloody Hermans. Did you guys ever get your bicycles back? :wink:
 
#8
Don't believe a word those Huns say. That perverted bunch of Blockheads apparently have nothing better to do than write crap about their neighbours.

And: No. They still have those bikes!
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#9
Cloggie said:
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
That is the worst attempt at written German accented English I have ever seen :D
I think you live in Aachen with a French wife and its your natural speech :)
 
#10
filthyphil said:
I can see their logic, at least with a good Eartha Kitt you don't have to cuddle it when you're finished.
You can remove it from the toilet and smear it all over your gentleman whilst masturbating.
 
#12
Hang on, fellas! Before we get too far in slagging off the Boxheeds, the Infomart GfK institute that carried out the survey is a Cloggie outfit. "Der Spiegel" only reported on it. See here:

http://www.intomartgfk.nl/

Don't shoot the messenger! :D :D

MsG
 
#13
Alsacien said:
Cloggie said:
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
That is the worst attempt at written German accented English I have ever seen :D
I think you live in Aachen with a French wife and its your natural speech :)
Are you clairvoyant?
I don't live in Aachen but in Oberuntenuberhintendorf und das hier ist meine frau

 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#14
Cloggie said:
Alsacien said:
Cloggie said:
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
That is the worst attempt at written German accented English I have ever seen :D
I think you live in Aachen with a French wife and its your natural speech :)
Are you clairvoyant?
I don't live in Aachen but in Oberuntenuberhintendorf und das hier ist meine frau

You are spending too much time in the mountains mate. The lack of oxygen is killing your brain cells :D
 
#15
Cloggie said:
Alsacien said:
Cloggie said:
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
That is the worst attempt at written German accented English I have ever seen :D
I think you live in Aachen with a French wife and its your natural speech :)
Are you clairvoyant?
I don't live in Aachen but in Oberuntenuberhintendorf und das hier ist meine frau



I thought you lived in KleineGrosseOberNiederStadtsDorfBecksMarkHausen
Berg. Am Rhein.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#17
A good shite never asks you what you are thinking.
 
#18
Heh! I actually read the dutch magazine this nice l'il tidbit first came to attention in. My take is that the average Cloggie isn't too keen on having his/her marital joys exposed, so when given the choice they'll be damned to say they like sex better than a visit to the bog.

Or it could be that with all the cabbage we eat we're just REALLY glad to evacuate our bowels.
 
#19
Cloggie said:
Alsacien said:
Cloggie said:
That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
I did however had a few good toilet shags !
That is the worst attempt at written German accented English I have ever seen :D
I think you live in Aachen with a French wife and its your natural speech :)
Are you clairvoyant?
I don't live in Aachen but in Oberuntenuberhintendorf und das hier ist meine frau

Quite obviously you've been a bad little monkey......
 
#20
And for those in NL who can't afford a caravan to crap in.
 

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