The Cloggies prefer a crap to a shag

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bugsy, Aug 13, 2009.

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  1. This is from the latest edition of "Der Spiegel":

    And here's a swift translation for those not quite up to it language-wise:

    What do the Dutch enjoy most? Sex? L’amour? – Missed by a mile! The inhabitants of our neighbouring country (to Germany) much prefer solitude to togetherness – that means on the bog. That, at least, is the result of a recent survey.

    Amsterdam – The Dutch apparently enjoy a cosy visit to the toilet much more than sex. They place a good discussion among friends in second place on their personal “pleasure-scale” – thus also clearly in front of physical love. That is the result of a survey of 1,000 adult participants published on Thursday and described as “statistically significant” by the Dutch news agency ANP.

    Asked what gave them “most pleasure”, 88 percent of the participants ticked a visit to the toilet. Outdoor leisure activities came in third place in the survey conducted by the Intomart GfK institute on behalf of the popular-science magazine "Quest". Sex occupied fourth place in the list with 21 percent.

    The result could be an explanation for the well-known fact that the Dutch like to hang their calendars with the birthdays of their friends and relatives in the toilet.

    I'm still not really sure if this is a piss-take or not. Maybe Cloggie can offer us some insight, or indeed any other ARRSEr who's conversant with the habits and culture of the Dutch.

  2. I prefer to split the difference and have a crap shag.
  3. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Well it must be said you can always put off a shag and come back later while with a good shit on the other hand.....
  4. Well I thought the Dutch actually liked to do both at the same time, going by some of the websites and bongo mags I've seen. In fact the original name of the Cleveland Steamer was in fact "Chjestie shijyt Rotterdammer stemen crappen", or "Dutch buffet".
  5. That's the biggest crap I've ever heard!
    Ze Zjermans must be bored since they all moved back to ze Fazzerland, after their holidays from the Dutch coastline leaving , it full of craters and try to get back on us after they had a few unfriendly encounters with a few Ajax hooligans.
    I did however had a few good toilet shags !
  6. I can see their logic, at least with a good Eartha Kitt you don't have to cuddle it when you're finished.
  7. Bloody Hermans. Did you guys ever get your bicycles back? :wink:
  8. Don't believe a word those Huns say. That perverted bunch of Blockheads apparently have nothing better to do than write crap about their neighbours.

    And: No. They still have those bikes!
  9. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    That is the worst attempt at written German accented English I have ever seen :D
    I think you live in Aachen with a French wife and its your natural speech :)
  10. You can remove it from the toilet and smear it all over your gentleman whilst masturbating.
  11. Just do what most well adjusted males do in this country- sh1t on your missus
  12. Hang on, fellas! Before we get too far in slagging off the Boxheeds, the Infomart GfK institute that carried out the survey is a Cloggie outfit. "Der Spiegel" only reported on it. See here:

    Don't shoot the messenger! :D :D

  13. Are you clairvoyant?
    I don't live in Aachen but in Oberuntenuberhintendorf und das hier ist meine frau

  14. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    You are spending too much time in the mountains mate. The lack of oxygen is killing your brain cells :D

  15. I thought you lived in KleineGrosseOberNiederStadtsDorfBecksMarkHausen
    Berg. Am Rhein.