The CivPop guide to dealing with the Mil

How should one deal with badly dressed Mil types?

  • Ignore them. They have a short attention span

    Votes: 4 12.1%
  • Offer to shag them. They are Our Heroes

    Votes: 7 21.2%
  • Slide off and try to grab a fag and a wet

    Votes: 3 9.1%
  • Royal Wooton Basset Hounds

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • We have an army? Gosh. How can we afford that?

    Votes: 9 27.3%
  • Nah, **** off. I am sick of your marriage proposals to the lovely Iron Duke

    Votes: 10 30.3%

  • Total voters
    33

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
Statistics from my close personal friend and associate Bad CO (The Belgian one, not the one that was murdered and dumped into a canal in Amsterdam a year ago because he is dead) indicate that 32% of ARRSE members have never served.

I feel for the CivPop who support our armed services, so I feel we need a thread. To support the CivPop when dealing with the Mil.

I’ll start shall I? Good.

Right, you are a guest in their house so behave. The fuckers have guns.

They will treat you with respect. Do not relax. They are only being friendly until they can fuck you. They can fuck you in many ways, up to and including a game that involves biscuits or getting naked. They have been doing this for centuries and they are good at it. Do not relax because the smiling cunts are at it.

Smile, be nice to their horrible fat boring birds and their radgy fucking kids and all will be well. Maybe. We’ll see.

So, for the CivPop members of ARRSE, how do you deal with Mil?
 
#2
At arms length.

I have it on good authority that they drink beer with poo floaters and would probably want to touch my bottom*. I certainly would not associate with them on-line either, for they are rough and uncouth and would probably offend my delicate sensibilities - the cunts.


*The previous statement obviously does not include members of the Brigade of Guards. I have got hammered in a number of their messes, and never had any type of faecal-based beverages offered, or had my bottom touched.
 
#3
Only 32%? Really? :shock:
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#4
At arms length.

I have it on good authority that they drink beer with poo floaters and would probably want to touch my bottom*. I certainly would not associate with them on-line either, for they are rough and uncouth and would probably offend my delicate sensibilities - the cunts.


*The previous statement obviously does not include members of the Brigade of Guards. I have got hammered in a number of their messes, and never had any type of faecal-based beverages offered, or had my bottom touched.
Maybe you weren't pretty enough.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#5
Hi babes, you all right? So, are you calling the new Belgian Bad CO a liar? That would be a mistake I feel. The last Bad CO got nutted and dumped into the Brouwersgracht about a year ago.

I am not a statisticician, but I'd watch my step if I were you.

Peace and out.
 
#6
*pulls cap down low and scurries off*
 
#7
IronDuke, I refer to your Poll question and its - badly dressed Mil types. Did my missus chat to you? She's always balthering about me clothed like I came out of the scran bag or some lost in the 80's sad fuck.

I will not be a slave to fashion or some clothes horse for the latest gayness in mens fashion. Nothing wrong with jeans, flannelette shirt and dessies or runners. If its cold just throw on the flyers jacket and I'm sweet, all this sans underwear. Now, if I can just find my Walkman.
 
#8
*The previous statement obviously does not include members of the Brigade of Guards. I have got hammered in a number of their messes, and never had any type of faecal-based beverages offered, or had my bottom touched.
That's because our faecal matter is applied directly- not from a cup or glass- but straight from the bum. It's all about standards.
 
#9
*The previous statement obviously does not include members of the Brigade of Guards. I have got hammered in a number of their messes, and never had any type of faecal-based beverages offered, or had my bottom touched.
You've been drinking in the wrong messes mate. Munster 1978/79 you couldn't move for shit-sodas (2SG members may resemble this remark!)
 

Trans-sane

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
Bad CO is Belgian? Does that mean at long last 3 famous Belgians can be named when challenged???
 
#12
At arms length.

I have it on good authority that they drink beer with poo floaters and would probably want to touch my bottom*. I certainly would not associate with them on-line either, for they are rough and uncouth and would probably offend my delicate sensibilities - the cunts.


*The previous statement obviously does not include members of the Brigade of Guards. I have got hammered in a number of their messes, and never had any type of faecal-based beverages offered, or had my bottom touched.

You need to visit an RE mess. Not only will you be offered the finest floater beverages but you will see that many of the older members have appendages missing and false limbs that you can drink out of.
 
#13
Bad CO is Belgian? Does that mean at long last 3 famous Belgians can be named when challenged???
I worked with a Belgian bloke recently. He is the biggest back stabbing cunt I have ever had the misfortune to meet. And as for Marnix Vandensteen, if you see him (you must know him, Belgium is only as big as a cricket pitch), ask him where my fucking Christmas Boar is this year.
 
#15
Right, hands up all those who have never served, come on, show yourselves.................................
 
#17
Right, hands up all those who have never served, come on, show yourselves.................................

i never served,
i attended various locations and got very drunk there, spent some time spraying man fat over sanger heaters, and did far too much pad shagging but i never served a day in my life.
 
#18
I never served. I just kind of attended for long enough to get a pension. I think that all the military and ex military (I will count TA as military, but not ACF) could refer to each other in a similar fashion as do MP's "The right honourable gentleman *arrse name here* is a dripping vagina". That kind of thing.

Civvies (those who have never served, or attended) could be referred to collectively on arrse as "obligati".

However there is no such thing as a badly dressed Mil type. Unless you refer to a padre who looks like he has been dragged backwards through a dry stone wall, in which case the correct form of address is oi you scrofulous oaf.
 
#20
I served once or twice as a young sapper in the Sgts mess at christmas. Does that count?
 

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