The CivPop guide to dealing with the Mil

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Dec 23, 2011.

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  1. Ignore them. They have a short attention span

    4 vote(s)
  2. Offer to shag them. They are Our Heroes

    7 vote(s)
  3. Slide off and try to grab a fag and a wet

    3 vote(s)
  4. Royal Wooton Basset Hounds

    0 vote(s)
  5. We have an army? Gosh. How can we afford that?

    9 vote(s)
  6. Nah, **** off. I am sick of your marriage proposals to the lovely Iron Duke

    10 vote(s)
  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Statistics from my close personal friend and associate Bad CO (The Belgian one, not the one that was murdered and dumped into a canal in Amsterdam a year ago because he is dead) indicate that 32% of ARRSE members have never served.

    I feel for the CivPop who support our armed services, so I feel we need a thread. To support the CivPop when dealing with the Mil.

    I’ll start shall I? Good.

    Right, you are a guest in their house so behave. The fuckers have guns.

    They will treat you with respect. Do not relax. They are only being friendly until they can fuck you. They can fuck you in many ways, up to and including a game that involves biscuits or getting naked. They have been doing this for centuries and they are good at it. Do not relax because the smiling cunts are at it.

    Smile, be nice to their horrible fat boring birds and their radgy fucking kids and all will be well. Maybe. We’ll see.

    So, for the CivPop members of ARRSE, how do you deal with Mil?
    • Like Like x 1
  2. At arms length.

    I have it on good authority that they drink beer with poo floaters and would probably want to touch my bottom*. I certainly would not associate with them on-line either, for they are rough and uncouth and would probably offend my delicate sensibilities - the cunts.

    *The previous statement obviously does not include members of the Brigade of Guards. I have got hammered in a number of their messes, and never had any type of faecal-based beverages offered, or had my bottom touched.
  3. Only 32%? Really? :shock:
    • Like Like x 3
  4. Maybe you weren't pretty enough.
  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Hi babes, you all right? So, are you calling the new Belgian Bad CO a liar? That would be a mistake I feel. The last Bad CO got nutted and dumped into the Brouwersgracht about a year ago.

    I am not a statisticician, but I'd watch my step if I were you.

    Peace and out.
  6. *pulls cap down low and scurries off*
  7. IronDuke, I refer to your Poll question and its - badly dressed Mil types. Did my missus chat to you? She's always balthering about me clothed like I came out of the scran bag or some lost in the 80's sad fuck.

    I will not be a slave to fashion or some clothes horse for the latest gayness in mens fashion. Nothing wrong with jeans, flannelette shirt and dessies or runners. If its cold just throw on the flyers jacket and I'm sweet, all this sans underwear. Now, if I can just find my Walkman.
  8. That's because our faecal matter is applied directly- not from a cup or glass- but straight from the bum. It's all about standards.
  9. You've been drinking in the wrong messes mate. Munster 1978/79 you couldn't move for shit-sodas (2SG members may resemble this remark!)
  10. I suppose if we also counted TA and cadets into that it would rocket up to 80%.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    Bad CO is Belgian? Does that mean at long last 3 famous Belgians can be named when challenged???

  12. You need to visit an RE mess. Not only will you be offered the finest floater beverages but you will see that many of the older members have appendages missing and false limbs that you can drink out of.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I worked with a Belgian bloke recently. He is the biggest back stabbing cunt I have ever had the misfortune to meet. And as for Marnix Vandensteen, if you see him (you must know him, Belgium is only as big as a cricket pitch), ask him where my fucking Christmas Boar is this year.
  14. Don't feed after midnight. Applies to mil types and Belgians.
  15. Right, hands up all those who have never served, come on, show yourselves.................................