the church to make millions homeless

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by burnt-or-buggered, May 8, 2007.

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  1. The existence of limbo for all non baptised humans has been a firm staple of the church for hundreds of years. The premise being if you are a good christian you go to heaven if you are a bad christian you go to hell ,if you are a non believer you reside in limbo. However the pope has announced that he doesn't believe in limbo therefore as the head of the christian church it must not exist, which is unfortunate for the untold millions that until now resided there.
    Their only hope now is that soft touch UK will find accomodation as they have for every one else that asks!.
     
  2. When I read the title of this thread I thought that fine Aussie drinking establishment in London had got new and bigger premises. Now I find myself sadly misled, Thanks a lot
     
  3. limbo eh!, bad news if you belong to 'the church' it must be right after all the pope is inflatable :D
     
  4. Well that answers the question as to why the queue was down the street on sunday!
     
  5. And here I was, practicing my limbo, when the Pope goes and decides it doesn't exist.

    Who does he think he is? Not only making millions of limbo dance teachers homeless (after all the Jamaican dancing teachers can't afford their rent), but stopping thousands of British tourists on their summer holiday to benidorm from enjoying their drunken selves.

    I tell you, these people bend over backwards for us and what do they get for it?
     
  6. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Do you really want to blow the nazi up?
     
  7. I'd rather burn in hell than be a homeless catholic limbo dancer!


    I'll get my straight jacket!
     
  8. So was the pope talking ex cathedra as part of his Sacred Magisterium or was he just giving his own opinion?

    Either way it don't look to good for those of a limbo persuasion.
     
  9. If I don't believe, then I'm going to Hell but if I'm going to Hell that means that Hell must exist and if Hell exists then it stands to reason that Heaven exists so if I now know that Heaven and Hell exist then that makes me a believer so I suppose I'm going to Heaven after all......but I don't want to cos I want to be with my arrse buddies and they are ALL going to Hell.

    BTW, my limbo dancing is really good now - I can get under a rug!
     

  10. Get the fcuk out the NAAFI.
     
  11. And if the Devil is the enemy of God and a fallen believer himself, then why would he punish other fallen believers as that would be working in God's cause. Logically, he should only punish strong believers who he gets his hands on! Who he wouldn't get because they're all going to heaven!
     
  12. Now, this really is a Big Issue.

    Coat, hat, scarf and gloves....
     
  13. There is a place called "Pimbo" on the way to preston where they could live. Its not the same but its close!
     
  14. well surely there's no need to panic.

    Said Limboites will be re-accommodated in either heaven or hell?
     
  15. Surely not. It's not really fair. What if it's all true and there is a heaven. Some poor wee God Botherer has missed out on all the fun that we take for granted and has made it in. Suddenly, the Pope decides that limbo doesn't exist and there's an influx of migrants who've spent their entire lives on the pi$$ and shagging around. Not only would the market value of Heaven drop but they'd all be justifiably annoyed - "I obeyed all of those 10 bloody commandments, had a quite boring life tbh and got in. Now they're letting any old dosser in as long as he didn't 'do' his neighbours donkey* and had a long lie on Sunday!"




    *I deliberately avoided the word ass