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The Chosen One

#1
I initially thought of adding this to the "I'm turning my kids into tiny squaddies and I don't care" but it seems that this young man, absent a suitable male authority figure, is using his own initiative:

http://www.newschannel9.com/news/year-987196-old-christmas.html

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. (WTVC-TV) - A 4-year-old boy, beer in hand, is accused of stealing Christmas presents from his neighbors. It's a strange story, but also a sad one.

April Wright is 21 years old and is going through a divorce with her husband who is in jail. She says she is not sure how her 4-year-old managed to get out of the house, open a beer, and steal the neighbors presents from under their tree. Now she's just glad he's okay and says she won't let it happen again.

The child, Hayden Wright, was found around 1:45 am Tuesday, wandering the streets of his neighborhood. In a police reports, officers said he was wearing a little girl's dress and drinking a beer. The police report says the child had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption...
 
#5
Lower_Jumper said:
Was he singing cadence?
Up in the mornong with the rising sun
Gonna pinch some pressies for my mum,
Even though I'm only four years old,
I'll make my actions swift and bold,

sound off, sound off. 1 2 3 4 etc

Momma won't know and Daddy don't care
that I'm running round the 'hood' almost bare
She's lying in bed flat on her back
a hairy arsed Marine is filling her crack

Sound off, Sound off. 1 2 3 4 etc

Out of the window I see blue lights flashing
men in uniform all around dashing
fcuking hell fire, I think their a commng here
I think I'd better finish my beer. :D

1 2 3 4 etc.
 

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