The Chinese - not a great bunch of lads

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#1
Now, as all avid viewers of Father Ted will know, the Chinese are a great bunch of lads. This, as it turns out, is something of a misconception. They are in fact, a massive bunch of cunts.

Now I don’t claim this to be scientific but from my observation of Chinese tourists, I’m happy to report that 100% are pig-ignorant arseholes.

Now, as @smartascarrots or similar will claim that a basic ignorance of all societal niceties and a general dislike of behaving properly in company is a result of a rapid improvement in living standards for those who were previously poor oppressed farmers, raised overly-quickly from a feudal society:

Using your imagination; you’re a poor peasant in 13th century England, living a life of toil and misery when you espy a line of your fellow villagers, paraded up in front of a trestle where the first person is handing over some sort of token and receiving some food from your liege. The process is repeated from person to person.

Do you think:

I’m in a pre-industrial society and have no notion of goods exchange beyond barter but it looks like the people are being seen in order of appearance. I’ll join this line and get my goods eventually.

Or

This arrangement is clearly fuck all to do with me. I shall rock up at the trestle as I desire food now.

^Chinese tourists and queues.


You are standing in a group of people on a deer trail, discussing where best to hunt when you become aware that someone on their way to the well needs to pass but you are blocking the way.

Do you:

Step into the undergrowth to allow the water-carrier pass. It’s a society and we must all work together for the common good.

Or

Stand there bellowing loudly in your heathen fucking jibber-jabber and move not a jot.

^Chinese tourists on a pavement.


The Japanese didn’t go far enough as far as I’m concerned.
 
#2
Did they forget to give you the complimentary bag of prawn crackers tonight?
 
#3
Now, as all avid viewers of Father Ted will know, the Chinese are a great bunch of lads. This, as it turns out, is something of a misconception. They are in fact, a massive bunch of cunts.

Now I don’t claim this to be scientific but from my observation of Chinese tourists, I’m happy to report that 100% are pig-ignorant arseholes.

Now, as @smartascarrots or similar will claim that a basic ignorance of all societal niceties and a general dislike of behaving properly in company is a result of a rapid improvement in living standards for those who were previously poor oppressed farmers, raised overly-quickly from a feudal society:

Using your imagination; you’re a poor peasant in 13th century England, living a life of toil and misery when you espy a line of your fellow villagers, paraded up in front of a trestle where the first person is handing over some sort of token and receiving some food from your liege. The process is repeated from person to person.

Do you think:

I’m in a pre-industrial society and have no notion of goods exchange beyond barter but it looks like the people are being seen in order of appearance. I’ll join this line and get my goods eventually.

Or

This arrangement is clearly fuck all to do with me. I shall rock up at the trestle as I desire food now.

^Chinese tourists and queues.


You are standing in a group of people on a deer trail, discussing where best to hunt when you become aware that someone on their way to the well needs to pass but you are blocking the way.

Do you:

Step into the undergrowth to allow the water-carrier pass. It’s a society and we must all work together for the common good.

Or

Stand there bellowing loudly in your heathen fucking jibber-jabber and move not a jot.

^Chinese tourists on a pavement.


The Japanese didn’t go far enough as far as I’m concerned.
(Future) moderator comment.

I dare you to move this to CA.

Father Ted is on every night here, you know.
 
#5
Grim fuckers no table manners. Sat waiting to catch a flight drawn in by them stuffing their gobs and jabbering on, spitting as much out as they ate...
:puker:
 
#7
They are the most arrogant, racist nation on the face of the Earth*. The Cantonese term for 'a dirty, stinking Westerner' is gwai lo - a phrase that you (probably) won't hear from a Mandarin speaker, as he/she thinks that Cantonese are dirty, stinking Cantonese.


*and I've been to Arkansas. Twice.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
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Book Reviewer
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#8
Now, as all avid viewers of Father Ted will know, the Chinese are a great bunch of lads. This, as it turns out, is something of a misconception. They are in fact, a massive bunch of cunts.

Now I don’t claim this to be scientific but from my observation of Chinese tourists, I’m happy to report that 100% are pig-ignorant arseholes.

Now, as @smartascarrots or similar will claim that a basic ignorance of all societal niceties and a general dislike of behaving properly in company is a result of a rapid improvement in living standards for those who were previously poor oppressed farmers, raised overly-quickly from a feudal society:

Using your imagination; you’re a poor peasant in 13th century England, living a life of toil and misery when you espy a line of your fellow villagers, paraded up in front of a trestle where the first person is handing over some sort of token and receiving some food from your liege. The process is repeated from person to person.

Do you think:

I’m in a pre-industrial society and have no notion of goods exchange beyond barter but it looks like the people are being seen in order of appearance. I’ll join this line and get my goods eventually.

Or

This arrangement is clearly fuck all to do with me. I shall rock up at the trestle as I desire food now.

^Chinese tourists and queues.


You are standing in a group of people on a deer trail, discussing where best to hunt when you become aware that someone on their way to the well needs to pass but you are blocking the way.

Do you:

Step into the undergrowth to allow the water-carrier pass. It’s a society and we must all work together for the common good.

Or

Stand there bellowing loudly in your heathen fucking jibber-jabber and move not a jot.

^Chinese tourists on a pavement.


The Japanese didn’t go far enough as far as I’m concerned.
Driving out of Edinburgh Castle can be fun as the Chinese* walk down the middle of the road and think twice before moving! Not being permitted to toot the car horn to invite them to move one has to resort to a quick rev of the engine to persuade them to f*****g move.


*To be fair most tourists do this but the Chinese seem least willing to give way and get up on the pavement!
 
#9
Now, as all avid viewers of Father Ted will know, the Chinese are a great bunch of lads. This, as it turns out, is something of a misconception. They are in fact, a massive bunch of cunts.

Now I don’t claim this to be scientific but from my observation of Chinese tourists, I’m happy to report that 100% are pig-ignorant arseholes.

Now, as @smartascarrots or similar will claim that a basic ignorance of all societal niceties and a general dislike of behaving properly in company is a result of a rapid improvement in living standards for those who were previously poor oppressed farmers, raised overly-quickly from a feudal society:

Using your imagination; you’re a poor peasant in 13th century England, living a life of toil and misery when you espy a line of your fellow villagers, paraded up in front of a trestle where the first person is handing over some sort of token and receiving some food from your liege. The process is repeated from person to person.

Do you think:

I’m in a pre-industrial society and have no notion of goods exchange beyond barter but it looks like the people are being seen in order of appearance. I’ll join this line and get my goods eventually.

Or

This arrangement is clearly fuck all to do with me. I shall rock up at the trestle as I desire food now.

^Chinese tourists and queues.


You are standing in a group of people on a deer trail, discussing where best to hunt when you become aware that someone on their way to the well needs to pass but you are blocking the way.

Do you:

Step into the undergrowth to allow the water-carrier pass. It’s a society and we must all work together for the common good.

Or

Stand there bellowing loudly in your heathen fucking jibber-jabber and move not a jot.

^Chinese tourists on a pavement.


The Japanese didn’t go far enough as far as I’m concerned.
I'm in hong-couver at the moment and the little fuckers are everywhere, however as I'm over 6ft and the little cunts are lucky to push 5ft I find they part like the red sea did for Moses when they get in my path. They bare a lot of similarities to jocks.
 
#10
Grim ******* no table manners. Sat waiting to catch a flight drawn in by them stuffing their gobs and jabbering on, spitting as much out as they ate...
:puker:


How come this is OK but if I said black people were shit, I'd be for the high jump.

Again.
 
#13
Their females also have a bizarre fixation with pubic hair, e.g. lots of it is better than none.

The dirty bastards.

The blokes have very small penises too.
 
#15
Do they like porn where the women cry (again, nothing wrong with that, but it seems pretty universal with them) or is that just the Japanese?
 
#20
Yes it most certainly is.

What's the point of holidaying in the far east and hiring a male escort for the duration if you can't even feel him in your back eye?

I ma have to ask JohnG how he copes.
Oh God.











You're from Cumbria, aren't you?
 
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