The checkup

#1
This old couple go to the doctor every 6 months to make sure everything is OK.
So, in they hobble and the wife is called in first. After a while, out she goes and in walks the husband. Once he's taken a seat and made himself comfortable, the doctor says
" I have some bad news for you. Your wife may have either Alzheimers or AIDS"
"Bloody hell!" says the bloke " That's pretty serious, but how can you not be sure?"
" It's diagnostic" says the doc" However, I've given her a 20 minute start, if she arrives home before you do, don't shag her."
 
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