The cheaper the better!

#1
Buying a mate something for his birthday in May.
I'm after something cheap & tacky!
Not to crude, but just something that will show i spent as little as possible!
He will find it funny! :D
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
Cut out some shapes in a concertina from a piece of coloured cardboard. Tell him you've got him some wallpaper.
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#4
PrinceAlbert said:
Give him a 1p piece.
But cut it in half an mount it on a scrap of wood as a tasteful, but cheap, wall decoration which signifies the value of your friendship. You could wear the other half on a chain around your neck.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#5
Sign him up for a buy now pay later scheme:

i.e. a holiday - pay £5 deposit and he is due to pay the £1000 prior to going on the holiday - he will love it.
 
#7
Pick some grass and form it into a bouquet with one of those sticky tags you get on bread bags.

Look, I think Valentine's Day is about togetherness even if women disagree!
 

terroratthepicnic

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#8
My best mate comes from Norfolk, so I tend to buy him books on tractors.

Dependig on where you are from depends on what sort of gift to by him. You could always give him a years membership to badger watch or some such nonsence.
 
#9
Buy him an acre of land on the moon/in Scotland, somewhere obscure like that.

Name a star after him (he'll probably think you're gay though)

Or if you want to buy him something he'll actually enjoy, buy him a collection of obscure imported lagers.
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
go to a pound shop and buy him whatever you find in there.
 
#11
terroratthepicnic said:
My best mate comes from Norfolk, so I tend to buy him books on tractors.

Dependig on where you are from depends on what sort of gift to by him. You could always give him a years membership to badger watch or some such nonsence.
Yep a book on sheep or membership to a strange animal support group could be fun! :)
 
#12
My dad and his best mate did this for years. Every birthday or christmas they tried to outdo each other with the crappest present money could buy.
I seem to remember some really random fridge magnets, garden gnomes, and pens stolen from hotels.
 
#13
Knock one out into a tissue, and give him the dried remains, just tell him you wanted to give him something more personal than a standard gift.

Or if you want to spend a little more.....


Do the same but then have it made into a paperweight.


Linky

Linky
 
#14
Find the cheapest blow up doll around. Hours of pleasure & you can borrow it on occasions also, cleaned or not :)
 
#15
mac5543 said:
Find the cheapest blow up doll around. Hours of pleasure & you can borrow it on occasions also, cleaned or not :)
Are you still living in the dark ages - get him a Fleshlite (or Fleshlight, can't remember)
 
#17
PoisonDwarf said:
get him a Fleshlite (or Fleshlight, can't remember)
A mate of mine bought me one of those as a joke for my 35th after I complained about the missus getting a bit boring.

Best fucking present ever (pun intended). If you want to piss him off, do NOT buy him one of these :)
 
#19
The morning of my 21'st birthday I opened a birthday present from my long time girlfriend (a well off, sophisticated lady, apparently)



It was a vinyl blow up birthday cake.


I was really glad that I had paid out all that money for an elegant necklace, for her twenty first.
This was in the days before Argos had a jewellery counter.


Going slightly off topic, like the present wife, she wasn't into bum fun either
 

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