The Chav Nativity


The Chav Nativity captures this wondrous night in a very special collectable. This meticulously hand-crafted, hand-painted masterwork is certain to be the perfect addition to your festive decorating.
Surely both parents wouldn't be there :roll:
Baby should be on a George Flag, not a Union Flag, neither of the parents is wearing Kappa, they both appear sober and there isn't enough Elizabeth Duke on show.

Good effort though, where did you get it from?
Mr_Dignity said:
If you look at the baby, they're not!
Oh she hasn't just dyed her hair to look like Britney then :roll:

Mindyou, what a great Secret Santa gift :D
I can see it now " And Joseph drove Mary to the old stables behind JJB sports in his modded Saxo and spake unto her, 'Yo bitch, annuver four of them and we get a bigger 'ouse from the council and more money for stella and fags'."

Fair do's though, most Chav mothers don't know who the father of their child is either! :D
Title: Immaculate Conception or Slack jawed oafs pollute the gene pool again - which is it?
...and the touching story here:

There’s this bird called Mary, yeah? She’s a virgin (wossat then?) She’s not married or nuffink, but she’s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an’ that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She’s like `Oo ya lookin at?’ Gabriel just goes ‘You got one up the duff, you have.’ Mary’s totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large ‘Stop dissin’ me yeah? I ain’t no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!’

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who’s six months gone herself. Liz is largin’ it. She’s filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an’ that. She’s like ‘Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I’m well blessed. Think of all the extra weez gonna get on the social an’ that.’ Mary goes ‘Yeah, s’pose you’re right’ Mary an’ Joe ain’t got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an’ go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an’ Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an’ that. But there ain’t no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an’ Joe break an’ enter into this garridge, only it’s filled wiv animals. Cahs an’ sheep an’ that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their ‘eads.

They’re like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus’, an’ say they’re wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: ‘If you’re so wise, wotchoo doin’ wiv this Frankenstein an’ myrrh?

Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?’ It’s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an’ sez he’s got another message from this Lord geezer. He’s like ‘The police is comin an’ they’re killin all the bay-bees.

You better nash off to Egypt.’ Joe goes ‘You must be monged if you think I’m goin’ dahn Egypt on a minging donkey’ Gabriel sez ‘Suit yerself, pal. But it’s your look out if you stay.’ So they go dahn Egypt till they’ve stopped killin the first-born an’ it’s safe an’ that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an’ Jesus turns water into Stella.
There should be at least 1 bumper bottle of White Lightning in the picture.
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