A shipwrecked guy was picked up by a ship after 2 years on a deserted island. Eventually the crew got round to asking him what he did for sexual relief. He told them that he had nothing apart from the obvious self hand job until a couple of weeks back. They all leaned forward waiting to hear about it, and he told them that he had spotted an Ostrich bent over pecking up bits of vegetation. He crept up behind it with a monster erection on, suddenly lunged forward, impaling the huge bird right up it's jacksie. There was a thoughtful silence for a short while, then one fellow asked "How was it?" The rescued castaway replied "Fucking dreadful for the first mile, but pretty good once I was matching strides"