This has probably been done before, but I'll do it again. I first encountered the mythical 'Bus load of nurses from Rinteln' as a Tom in Sennelager many, many moons ago. Since then I have been subjected to this false hope in postings all the world over. It was a favourite at unit functions throughout , but the furthest place away where I have heard the expression used was BATUS and the most remote was in Kabul, by a comedian in the RLC. I must admit he had me in stitches, particularly when his mate who believed him, albeit momentarily, swung a punch at his head, such was the emotion of his disappointment. I've heard TA lads use the expression and I've even heard it from an American Air Force Officer. I remember some Rinteln QAs attending a 'do' in Minden, but they didn't come in a bus, they arrived in a Nissan Cherry (there were only 3 of them). Despite the distinct lack of females in our unit, it still took us all night to get tanked up before making a move...........and subsequently getting 'f*cked off at the high port',much to the amusement of the bar. Every unit function promised the same for the singlies............"There's a bus load of Nurses from Rinteln coming" "Yeehaaaaaa". My, how the pads must have been piSsing themselves as the horde of sad singlies grew at the bar. Each smelling more strongly of aftershave than the one who arrived before him. You had to wear sunglasses in the bar, so bright was our evening to be. There were so many Crockett and Tubbs lookalikes we could have started a Miami Vice fan club. Checking your look in the lavvy mirror. Checking the time "They're late lads" "No worries, I'll pace myself so's not to be to pissed too early". Hanging in there until the last, too late to go down town by the time you realised that they weren't coming and suspected ......that they never were. Every one a winner eh? To say that we were gullable would be an understatement. We lived in hope. I certainly did. I think I still do. But at every function, p*ss up, bamitzva,christening and funeral............the promise was............."There's a bus load of nurses coming from Rinteln" And we fell for it every time. Who started it? Was there really a bus load of nurses coming from Rinteln? Did they indeed have a bus? Are they still out there travelling the north German plain, a bit older, a bit fatter, dressed in 80s style clothing, listening to Duran Duran and Human League or was it really that long ago that one or two of them will now be dancing round thier handbags at that big NAAFI Bop in the sky? I don't know about you,but I always envisaged one of those white single decker Army buses (the same ones which dumped you at Gutersloh when you were going on Op BANNER), full of loveliness, pulling through the main gate, to the envy of the gate guard and those hanging out of the Guardroom window. I was in Rinteln the other week and popped round to see the hospital. I found myself wondering how many busses would have came through those gates on a Friday night. A bus full would have meant that there were at least 40 of them (did Rinteln have 40 nurses?). In Minden, we actually used to go outside to see if they'd turned up yet. A small gang of us, stood outside the front gate, smoking tabs, pacing up and down like expectant fathers. "Are you lads waitimng for a taxi?" enquired the gate guard. "No mate, waiting for a bus loads of nurses from Rinteln" we responded "You jammy b*stards" said the gate guard "If there's any buckshee, can you send them over to the Guard Room" If the Russians ever wanted to get up to anything in Germany on an evening, all they would have to do is to start the rumour that a bus load of nurses Rinteln would be arriving at the nearest Barracks and there wouldn't be a squaddie down town all night. Germany was a very lonely place in the 80s for the non German speaking squaddie. Are there any old QAs out there who can shed some light on where you have been all this time, why you never turned up at any of our functions and let me know why you always disappointed a this (now much older), hopeful young squaddie?