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The briefing before take off is for you security?

#81
I remember seeing a clip on YouTube a few years ago that someone had filmed of their US airline flight briefing, where the commentary was quite off-the-wall, funny and most definitely did not follow the script but I can't find it right now.
 
#83
I've got absolutely no problem with paying attention to the safety brief. I'm probably the only pax who checks under the seat to make sure that there really is a life jacket there. Aisle seat, near an exit. If only one person gets out it will be me.
Yup.
The briefing is (usually) boring, but it's a couple of minutes distraction from all the rushing about & stress and if you're lucky you can have a quick lech at the pretty demonstrator.
Twice I've found the lifejacket missing
(can't remember whose plane it was, but haven't flown any really scabby airlines [ryanscare and sleazyjet excepted)
 
#84
This used to really get on my tits........ pudding -faced little twats.

Interestingly there is some background to this. A study was done that found the attention rates of pax watching this went up by a significant amount when compared to more conventional briefs.

Ditto the ad lib ones like those above. Some of the best examples are ironically those done by Southwest crews who of course still work for an airline where the concept of getting the job done well (very well in my experience) is not mutually exclusive to having a bit of fun whilst you’re doing it. This may very well be connected to the fact that Southwest culture puts its employees at the very heart of everything they do and it shines through in their service. They are very heavily unionised too which blows that argument out of the water.

If you’re interested, YouTube has some very good clips of their CEO, Herb Kelleher (spelling?) speaking on the subject. He’s been at the helm for many years as founder, is very dismissive of corporate yukspeak and although about to finally retire, his sidekick is cut from the same cloth. I chatted to a number of SWA staff recently and they view their management with genuine affection for the simple reason their management view them the same way. The whole SWA organisation will I suspect be genuinely grief stricken today.

Put it this way, I’d give both nuts to work for them. Anyway.....

The human psyche responds differently to the same message delivered differently. The USAF apparently did a study on pilot responses to Ground Proximity Warning Systems, GPWS which does what it says on the tin by providing various warnings of an impending instantly regrettable airframe / terrain interface the most urgent of which is “PULL UP!”. They found the fastest response was to a little girl’s voice saying “Pull up Daddy”. (As it’s not the NAAFI, refrain from the obvious).

And finally, re the above Thomson video, it is only eclipsed in irritation factor by the current ubiquitous and seemingly inescapable TUI advert which has just been voted the worst of the year. In second place was First Choice. Thomson was expunged from history and First Choice absorbed as a discrete brand within the faceless, funless TUI brand as the dead hand of the Head Shed smothered everything in the ridiculous G Spot Logo and crossed the Ts, dotted the Is and put Unmentionable in the middle.
 
#86
Yup.
The briefing is (usually) boring, but it's a couple of minutes distraction from all the rushing about & stress and if you're lucky you can have a quick lech at the pretty demonstrator.
Twice I've found the lifejacket missing
(can't remember whose plane it was, but haven't flown any really scabby airlines [ryanscare and sleazyjet excepted)
A % check of life jackets is carried out before each sector and varies by route. As it’s a security function I’ll not go into details. You’d be amazed at the number that go missing. Ibiza was notorious outbound as for years de rigeur fashion amongst the cerebrally challenged in the nightclubs was, yep, a life jacket.

I suspect the lowest depth of human stupidity on aircraft (everywhere in fact) is yet to be plumbed as evidenced by the original content of this thread.

I believe some kind of instant frontal lobotomy occurs the moment people walk into an airport. Next time you go, just watch the number of people who walk through the door and stop dead and go slack jawed the instant they set foot inside to the extent they block the door.

A bloke in a uniform, covered in braid with hat to match, a set of wings on his chest and a name badge that says Captain Toastie is unlikely to know the time of the next Trans Pennine Express Service to Cleethorpes so why do quite well dressed and apparently quite sensible people (ie not inherently moronic in any other environment) keep asking me?
 
#87
#89
#90
A % check of life jackets is carried out before each sector and varies by route. As it’s a security function I’ll not go into details. You’d be amazed at the number that go missing. Ibiza was notorious outbound as for years de rigeur fashion amongst the cerebrally challenged in the nightclubs was, yep, a life jacket.

I suspect the lowest depth of human stupidity on aircraft (everywhere in fact) is yet to be plumbed as evidenced by the original content of this thread.

I believe some kind of instant frontal lobotomy occurs the moment people walk into an airport. Next time you go, just watch the number of people who walk through the door and stop dead and go slack jawed the instant they set foot inside to the extent they block the door.

A bloke in a uniform, covered in braid with hat to match, a set of wings on his chest and a name badge that says Captain Toastie is unlikely to know the time of the next Trans Pennine Express Service to Cleethorpes so why do quite well dressed and apparently quite sensible people (ie not inherently moronic in any other environment) keep asking me?
Stop dressing like someone that looks like they work at an airport, then.
 
#91
Anyone got a picture of Clarky off On the buses?

That's Toastie that is...on the Airbuses.
 
#92
The plane malfunctions, get your Iphone out.... run, run theres a shooter, get your Iphone out. a bomb has been detonated, and so on.
I'd be really fucked in that situation. I don't have an Iphone to get out.
 
#96
Interestingly there is some background to this. A study was done that found the attention rates of pax watching this went up by a significant amount when compared to more conventional briefs.

Ditto the ad lib ones like those above. Some of the best examples are ironically those done by Southwest crews who of course still work for an airline where the concept of getting the job done well (very well in my experience) is not mutually exclusive to having a bit of fun whilst you’re doing it. This may very well be connected to the fact that Southwest culture puts its employees at the very heart of everything they do and it shines through in their service. They are very heavily unionised too which blows that argument out of the water.

If you’re interested, YouTube has some very good clips of their CEO, Herb Kelleher (spelling?) speaking on the subject. He’s been at the helm for many years as founder, is very dismissive of corporate yukspeak and although about to finally retire, his sidekick is cut from the same cloth. I chatted to a number of SWA staff recently and they view their management with genuine affection for the simple reason their management view them the same way. The whole SWA organisation will I suspect be genuinely grief stricken today.

Put it this way, I’d give both nuts to work for them. Anyway.....

The human psyche responds differently to the same message delivered differently. The USAF apparently did a study on pilot responses to Ground Proximity Warning Systems, GPWS which does what it says on the tin by providing various warnings of an impending instantly regrettable airframe / terrain interface the most urgent of which is “PULL UP!”. They found the fastest response was to a little girl’s voice saying “Pull up Daddy”. (As it’s not the NAAFI, refrain from the obvious).

And finally, re the above Thomson video, it is only eclipsed in irritation factor by the current ubiquitous and seemingly inescapable TUI advert which has just been voted the worst of the year. In second place was First Choice. Thomson was expunged from history and First Choice absorbed as a discrete brand within the faceless, funless TUI brand as the dead hand of the Head Shed smothered everything in the ridiculous G Spot Logo and crossed the Ts, dotted the Is and put Unmentionable in the middle.

A couple of points. Kelleher has been gone completely since 2013. He was a figurehead from 2008 on. Barrett as well. Gary Kelly was the heir to the throne and he led ( continues to lead) a deadcorp restructuring of the brand.

In short it’s been a long, drawn out assault on and erosion of the culture that defined SWA since its foundation. The acquisition of AirTran and absorbtion of its management in 2012 was like bringing a legion of cuckoos into your nest.

The very best years of my time In the business were at SWA. I had my worst years there too.
 
#97
A couple of points. Kelleher has been gone completely since 2013. He was a figurehead from 2008 on. Barrett as well. Gary Kelly was the heir to the throne and he led ( continues to lead) a deadcorp restructuring of the brand.

In short it’s been a long, drawn out assault on and erosion of the culture that defined SWA since its foundation. The acquisition of AirTran and absorbtion of its management in 2012 was like bringing a legion of cuckoos into your nest.

The very best years of my time In the business were at SWA. I had my worst years there too.
I stand corrected. I flew with them last year and I found as I wrote. A real shame if they are going that way as it is head and shoulders above any other outfit I’ve ever travelled with with the possible exception of Business Class on Cathay which is of course a whole different business model.
 
#98
Stop dressing like someone that looks like they work at an airport, then.
Why didn’t I think of that?

Anyone got a picture of Clarky off On the buses?

That's Toastie that is...on the Airbuses.
I like to have some influence on the aircraft so Boeing all the way for me. The scruffy demeanour works for me though, I even have a bedraggled tache.
 
#99
I stand corrected. I flew with them last year and I found as I wrote. A real shame if they are going that way as it is head and shoulders above any other outfit I’ve ever travelled with with the possible exception of Business Class on Cathay which is of course a whole different business model.
The rank and file continue to be the best in the business. It’s no surprise to me that you had a great experience with them. Across the top of every SWA pay statement reads “This Paycheck Made Possible By Your Passengers” and most people there take that to heart.
The changes are most obvious in how the LCC model is being modified (and abandoned in some cases) to snare the business traveller, exporting heavy check MX to El Salvador to keep costs down and absolutely ******* the ‘peons’ over. One of my tasks used to be ensuring the ramp crews had enough drinking water and ice during the summers. We provided both as it was simple human decency AND smart business sense. Cue AirTran upper management coming in and stopping the company provided water and ice as it wasn’t in the contract and it was a cost that needed to be cut.

It even extended to uniforms. The old SWA cabin crew kit was as practical and comfortable as could be. Basically polo shirts, khakis or shorts and trainers. Not a strand of blue polyester to be seen. Now it’s the exact opposite. Shitty, flammable ‘smart’ uniforms for that upmarket ‘look’.

Most frightening of all is the very real division between the old SWA pilots and the ones that came from AT. I’ll stop here because I’m dangerously close to a rant.
 

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