The Brian Clough of REME

#1
A certain RSM was famous for outstanding quotes. Opposite to Junior, this guy had me in stitches on more than one occasion.

On seeing a female recruit at SEME on his last ever muster parade he closely examined her Jersey Heavy Wool then pointed to her breasts and asked "Now then young soldier...what are them things?"
Further down the front rank he asked of another female recruit
"Right young man...what are you? Male or female?"
On receiving his answer he turned to RSM TT and said
"RSM...from what I've seen today it's no wonder men shag men and women shag women. They all look the bloody same!"

On a church parade he stood side by side with the Padre and CO as the troops walked into church until one lad walked in still wearing his beret. He whacked his pace stick into the lads chest and barked
"Remove head dress in the house of the lord...c*nty!"
 
#2
i have to post a quote from a previous thread but i do think this topic deserves a thread of its own, funny quotes are great!!

gasmark9 said:
That would be Stu Senior IIRC, The longest serving WO1 in REME, if not the Army at the time I think.

Guard mount with him as Ord Orifice was a scream.
We had 2 WRACs on our basic course..one of them was on guard one night...

SS: What are those lumps in your jumper boy?

WRAC: Breasts Sir

SS: What the hell are you doing with breasts boy?

WRAC: I am a girl, Sir.

SS: A GIRL????? What the hell are you doing in the army then?

* LEGEND :nod:
 
#3
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
i have to post a quote from a previous thread but i do think this topic deserves a thread of its own, funny quotes are great!!

gasmark9 said:
That would be Stu Senior IIRC, The longest serving WO1 in REME, if not the Army at the time I think.

Guard mount with him as Ord Orifice was a scream.
We had 2 WRACs on our basic course..one of them was on guard one night...

SS: What are those lumps in your jumper boy?

WRAC: Breasts Sir

SS: What the hell are you doing with breasts boy?

WRAC: I am a girl, Sir.

SS: A GIRL????? What the hell are you doing in the army then?


* LEGEND :nod:
And clearly quite possibly a homo! Groundbreaking stuff :roll:
 
#4
Guard mount with Stu was legendary, we'd all be pissing ourselves at the end of it. "TESTICLES!!!" was his usual retort to a young crafty's explanation of some turn out infringement. And heaven help you if you had the audacity to wear a leather bound beret on one of his parades.
 
#5
smudge67 said:
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
i have to post a quote from a previous thread but i do think this topic deserves a thread of its own, funny quotes are great!!

gasmark9 said:
That would be Stu Senior IIRC, The longest serving WO1 in REME, if not the Army at the time I think.

Guard mount with him as Ord Orifice was a scream.
We had 2 WRACs on our basic course..one of them was on guard one night...

SS: What are those lumps in your jumper boy?

WRAC: Breasts Sir

SS: What the hell are you doing with breasts boy?

WRAC: I am a girl, Sir.

SS: A GIRL????? What the hell are you doing in the army then?


* LEGEND :nod:
And clearly quite possibly a homo! Groundbreaking stuff :roll:
surely better than all the chat about VEng, ECI's and all that boring shi'ite??

nowt wrong with a bit of humour and funny stories, the characters are all but gone.....
 
E

EScotia

Guest
#6
"surely better than all the chat about VEng, ECI's and all that boring shi'ite??

nowt wrong with a bit of humour and funny stories, the characters are all but gone....."

No, its just that todays characters have'nt had the time to bed in & be recognised 8)

This Corps of ours breeds characters, be they Recy Mechs, Armrs, Techs (spits as he types techs 8O ), VM A's & VMB's, Artisans & Tiffies :D

I stand to be corrected, but are our bretheren still quaffing the odd ale :? still making the inappropraiate sexual conquest :? still painting static training aids :?

or am I mistaken :?

Being a character - one of the things that should be mentioned in your favour on your SJAR :D
 
#7
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
smudge67 said:
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
i have to post a quote from a previous thread but i do think this topic deserves a thread of its own, funny quotes are great!!

gasmark9 said:
That would be Stu Senior IIRC, The longest serving WO1 in REME, if not the Army at the time I think.

Guard mount with him as Ord Orifice was a scream.
We had 2 WRACs on our basic course..one of them was on guard one night...

SS: What are those lumps in your jumper boy?

WRAC: Breasts Sir

SS: What the hell are you doing with breasts boy?

WRAC: I am a girl, Sir.

SS: A GIRL????? What the hell are you doing in the army then?


* LEGEND :nod:
And clearly quite possibly a homo! Groundbreaking stuff :roll:
surely better than all the chat about VEng, ECI's and all that boring shi'ite??

nowt wrong with a bit of humour and funny stories, the characters are all but gone.....
Didn't stu jail a wrac for not having shaved. " Have you shaved today boy?" "No Sir I am female". "Then march yourself to jail you idle little man for not shavng as per queens regulations".
Mastur_bates
 
#8
RSM Tony Bricknell told me that he was once on the Armistice Day parade with all the VIPs, guests and the ladies (of Bordon) all seated. This rather distinctive voice bellowed from afar (it just carried on the wind),,,, 'If any of you dare to faint on my parade square, your Compney Sant Mayour has my instruction to ****ing lock you up in Martinique Guard Room.

I was there in the 70s when people used to hide and run from the RSM, heaven help us if he had his stick under his arm (and swung the arm shoulder high, pulling back front to rear,,, pulling back like he was pulling something off his mother etc etc), gosh was he scarey. I swear I would stand up now if he walked into a room.
 
#9
"Your beret looks as though a wild animal has been fornicating on it" Classic Stu.
 
#10
Stood on parade first day of Clss 1 with my Hussars beret and metal REME shoulder titles, crisp ironed sleeves and polished CBH when I got jailed from about 100yds away by TT who was inspecting the Company next to ours. The guy was a legend. My crime(wearing two embellishments from my parent unit!!!!!!)
 
#12
RSM Senior made me double around E & F sheds for stepping over a 2" piece of grass by the now REME museum. Twat! :lol:
 
#13
Small world, but was talking to an MGS guy today, who lives 5 doors away from Mr Senior!! He is still barking, I am reliably informed!
 
#14
TT - sent on gardening leave from his last unit in the army (under investigation apparently).
 
#19
Col_Gadd-Haffi said:
RSM Tony Bricknell told me that he was once on the Armistice Day parade with all the VIPs, guests and the ladies (of Bordon) all seated. This rather distinctive voice bellowed from afar (it just carried on the wind),,,, 'If any of you dare to faint on my parade square, your Compney Sant Mayour has my instruction to ****ing lock you up in Martinique Guard Room.

I was there in the 70s when people used to hide and run from the RSM, heaven help us if he had his stick under his arm (and swung the arm shoulder high, pulling back front to rear,,, pulling back like he was pulling something off his mother etc etc), gosh was he scarey. I swear I would stand up now if he walked into a room.
Would you?? Really?? :roll:
 
#20
Bloody Hell, Stu Senior, a name from the distant past - I joined REMES in Feb '68 and he was Platoon Sergeant of 03 platoon just ahead of us and already a legend then. Thought he'd be in an urn on the mantelpiece long ago!
 

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