what is the most jaw droppingly bone question you've ever had to react to ? who was it from ? where they a regular at this , or was it a one off mistake? now , i've been asked hundereds , but a few stick out as to being so f*cking stupid that i had to do a "comedy double take" just to make sure i wasn't the victim of a wind up. a classic example goes thus: ex. purple warrior , my troop has pulled the plum job that is DAMCON and boy are we ever enjoying our stay in stranraer , this is made even more enjoyable by our troop commander who at best could be described as "a tad over-enthusiastic" so , there i am out in the wilds of scotland , gainfully employed shovelling sh*t off the roads , and filling in wheelruts etc. and , i have pulled the technically demanding job that is "stop, go man" now , this is not rocket science , the hardest bit of the job , was stopping myself falling asleep holding on to the sign , and trying to position my hands so the rain didn't go up my sleeve and run down my ribs and down into my undercrackers. what was making this job a pain in the arrse was troopy , bounding round on the balls of his feet like an overenthusiastic puppy , basically trying to make a very simple task into a major engineering project. now , i've got to admit he did catch me at a "that's rain dripping off my nose" moment , but i groaned inwardly as i saw him bouncing up the road to me. the conversation went exactly like this. "ah , sapper shortfuse , how's it going" "fantastically well sir , i'm positively cock-a-hoop"(troopy doesn't get sarcasm) "er .... great ,great , right then sapper shortfuse , what's the plan , and where do you fit into it?" now , this is where i done the whole slack jawed double take thing "pardon me sir?" "whats the plan?" "the plan sir , as far as i can make out , is i stand here with this stick , and when a car comes , and i want it to stop , i turn the sign to the red side with STOP written on it , but if it's ok for the car to go , i turn it to the green side , with GO written on it" now , i didn't think troopy could fail to notice the sarcasm dripping from my voice , along with the rain from my hooter , but no , he seemed positively enlightened , and with a jaunty "excellent excellent , just as long we've got a plan and we're following it through" off he bounded ........... straight to my opposite number at the other end of the road gang. guess what he asked him?