Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by BaldricksBullet, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. Edmund himself

  2. Baldrick

    0 vote(s)
  3. Lt George

    0 vote(s)
  4. Melchie

    0 vote(s)
  5. Capt Darling

    0 vote(s)
  6. Queenie

    0 vote(s)
  7. The Lord FLASH

  8. Prince Regent

    0 vote(s)
  9. Percy

    0 vote(s)
  10. Or everyones mate Bob!


Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. It is 23 years (and a few days) since the first Blackadder programme and still it's quoted regularly on Arrse. So this thread is dedicated to all those who obviously still treat the series like a fanatical religion! Two days ago, I noticed that Speckled Jim joined the forum... and that got me thinking that all Blackies should make thenselves known! - So please put a post on here if your name or avatar is Blackadder related!... But if not and you want to contribute, please start you post with "I know I'm not worthy, but..."

    In honour of our creed feel free to include your favorite quotes and links:

    Blackadder 2: "Who's Queen?" "OK, there were these magnificent ORANGE elephants."
    Blackadder 3: "No, just a wild stab in the dark... which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being more helpful!"
    Blackadder 4: "I don't care how many times they go up diddly up dup... they're still GITS!"

    (yeah sorry - I'm a Ben Elton fan too, so the Black Adder doesn't count)

    And here are some links -

    Blackadder hall
    Baldrick Wiki
  2. "We Few, We Happy Few, We Band of Ruthless Ba*@ards!"
  3. Blackadder 4

    Lt - was that HQ on the phone
    Blackadder - No, it was Pope Gregory the fourth, inviting us all aboard his yaucht "the Lusty Louse"
    Lt - Really!
    Blackadder - No, it was HQ
  4. Blackadder's succinct summary of British battle plans: 'to continue with total slaughter until everybody's dead except Field Marshall Haig and Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan.'
  5. Security is not a dirty word blackadder

    Crevice, no there is a dirty word
  6. Erm, what is the actual scale of this map, Darling?
    Erm, one-to-one, Sir.
    Come again?
    Er, the map is actually life-size, Sir. It's superbly detailed. Look, there's a little worm.
    So the actual amount of land retaken is?
    Seventeen square feet, Sir
  7. Edmund: Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two
    beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
    Baldrick: Some beans.
    Edmund:Yes...and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more
    beans. What does that make?
    Baldrick: A very small casserole.
    Edmund: Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One,
    two, three, four. So how many are there?
    Baldrick: Three
    Edmund: What?
    Baldrick: And that one.
    Edmund: Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?
    Baldrick: Oh! Some beans.
    Edmund: Yes. To you Baldrick, the renaissance was just something that happened to
    other people wasn't it?
  8. "Sir what should we do if we happen to tread on a mine"
    "Well normal procedure Lt is to jump 200 feet into the air and scater yourself over a wide area"
  9. Pure Classic Moment! WIBBLE!

    Attached Files:

  10. God, it's a barrent featureless desert out there!
  11. Sorry drains it was Pope Gregory the Ninth, his yacht was the 'Saucy Sue' and the England cricket team were also aboard! How sad am I?
  12. "Sir does our battleplan involve us climing out of our trenches and walking in a very long very straight line very slowly towards the enemy"
    "how did you know that blackadder it is supposed to be top secret"
    "its the same plan we used last time and the 17times before that"
    "exactly if we use the same plan we have used 18 times before it will be the last thing the germans expect there is only one small problem"
    "everyone always gets sluaghtered in the first 10 seconds"
    "precisly and we fell this may be depressing the men attached"
  13. 'Row row row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    Belts off, trousers down,
    Isn't life a scream!'


    I don't want to die. I'm really not overkeen on dying
    at all, sir.

    Edmund: How are you feeling, Darling?

    Darling: Erm, not all that good, Blackadder -- rather hoped I'd get through the
    whole show; go back to work at Pratt & Sons; keep wicket for the
    Croydon gentlemen; marry Doris... Made a note in my diary on my way
    here. Simply says, "Bugger."

    Edmund: Well, quite.

    (a voice outside gives orders)

    Voice: (??)! (??)!

    Edmund: Ah well, come on. Let's move.

    Voice: Fix bayonets!

    (They start to go outside)

    Edmund: Don't forget your stick, Lieutenant.

    George: Oh no, sir -- wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this!

    (outside, they all line up as the shelling stops)

    Darling: Listen! Our guns have stopped.

    George: You don't think...?

    Baldrick: Maybe the war's over. Maybe it's peace!

    George: Well, hurrah! The big knobs have gone round the table and yanked the
    iron out of the fire!

    Darling: Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War: 1914-1917.

    George: Hip hip!

    All but Edmund: Hurray!

    Edmund: (loading his revolver) I'm afraid not. The guns have stopped because
    we're about to attack. Not even our generals are mad enough to shell
    their own men. They think it's far more sporting to let the Germans
    do it.

    George: So we are, in fact, going over. This is, as they say, it.

    Edmund: I'm afraid so, unless I think of something very quickly.

    Voice: Company, one pace forward!

    (everyone steps forward)

    Baldrick: Ooh, there's a nasty splinter on that ladder, sir! A bloke could
    hurt himself on that.

    Voice: Stand ready!

    (everyone puts a foot forward)

    Baldrick: I have a plan, sir.

    Edmund: Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?

    Baldrick: Yes, sir.

    Edmund: As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning
    at Oxford University?

    Baldrick: Yes, sir.

    Voice: On the signal, company will advance!

    Edmund: Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was
    better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad.
    I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?
  14. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Tell me Young crone, is this Putney?

    That it be, that it be.

    "Yes it is". Not "that it be". You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me. I'm not a tourist.
  15. er that would be dunny on the wold not putney