The Best Rugby Song ??

#81
One of the greats. Substitute your own for 'the boys from the West Country.'

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Now every fiddler had a fine fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his tailors three.
Now every tailor had a fine needle,
And a very fine needle had he,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his jugglers three.
Now every juggler had a fine ball, and very fine ball had he,
Throw your balls in the air, in the air said the jugglers,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his butchers three.
Now every butcher had a fine chopper,
And very fine chopper had he,
Put it on the block, chop it off, said the butchers,
Throw your balls in the air, in the air said the jugglers,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his horsemen three.
Now every horseman had a fine saddle,
And very fine saddle had he,
Ride it up and down, up and down, said the horsemen,
Put it on the block, chop it off, said the butchers,
Throw your balls in the air, in the air said the jugglers,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his huntsmen three.
Now every huntsman had a fine horn,
And very fine horn had he,
Wake up in the morn with a horn, said the huntsmen,
Ride it up and down, up and down, said the horsemen,
Put it on the block, chop it off, said the butchers,
Throw your balls in the air, in the air said the jugglers,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his coalmen three.
Now every coalman had a fine sack,
And very fine sack had he,
Want it in the front or the back, said the coalmen,
Wake up in the morn with a horn, said the huntsmen,
Ride it up and down, up and down, said the horsemen,
Put it on the block, chop it off, said the butchers,
Throw your balls in the air, in the air said the jugglers,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.

Old King Cole was a bugger for his hole,
And a bugger for his hole was he,
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his policemen three.
Now every policeman had a fine beat,
And very fine beat had he,
I got the beat, got the beat, said the policemen,
Want it in the front or the back, said the coalmen,
Wake up in the morn with a horn, said the huntsmen,
Ride it up and down, up and down, said the horsemen,
Put it on the block, chop it off, said the butchers,
Throw your balls in the air, in the air said the jugglers,
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry men are we,
There's none so fair as can compare as the boys from the West Country.
 

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#82
Probably more of an army song than rugby but..

Some say that the Army's a wonderful place,
But the organisation's a fcuking disgrace,
There are sergeants and corporals and lance corporals too,
With their hands in their pockets with fcuk all to do.

They stand on the square and they scream and they shout,
They scream about things they know fcukall about,
And if you ask my opinion I'd much rather be,
Shoveling sh1t on the Isle of Capri.

Oh Capri, Oh Capri,
If you ask my opinion I'd much rather be,
Shoveling sh1t on the Isle of Capri.
 
#83
Another from the distant past ….

The Woodpecker Song which went something like ….

I stuck my finger in the Woodpecker’s hole
And the Woodpecker said Gawd bless my soul
Turn it round
Turn it round
Turn it round re…..volve it

I revolved my finger in the Woodpecker’s hole
And the Woodpecker said Gawd bless my soul
Turn it back
Turn it back
Turn it back ro…….tate it

……… many variations

I removed my finger from the Woodpecker’s hole
And the Woodpecker said Gawd bless my soul
Take a sniff
Take a sniff
Take a sniff re………..volting
 

phil245

LE
Book Reviewer
#84
what about the Lobster song, four and twenty virgins, there was a maid in a mountain glen or The hole in the elephants bottom.
 
#85
sloop john B

sung by 100 plus rugby afficionados in a cardiff alehouse after the 1988 schweppes cup final, we almost lifted the roof off.

Those happy days at the QEMH where the rugby was a true blood port.
Sorry for the bump!

I echo this! I'd never heard it before the Lions tour and I was blown away by it - it was unbelievable. Perhaps it was because I was in a packed bar with one hundred welshmen though!
 
#86
Anyone remember/got the words to (to the tune of Lli Marlene):

Cruising down the autobahn at forty miles an hour
We are the fuckin' REME, we are a fuckin' shower
We can't change up and we can't change down
The gearbox is in but it's wrong way round ...
 
#87
Always found A Frenchman Went to the Lavatory sung to the tune of the Marseillaise amusing, especially after watching England win in Paris. Apparently it's too disrespectful to the French.....

A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
To enjoy a jolly good shit;
He took his coat and trousers off,
So that he could revel in it;
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before
Ou est le papier, ou est le papier;
Monsieur, monsieur, j'ai fait 'manure';
Ou est le papier!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#88
Swing low could be made suitably racist by ludicrous versions with accents such as Chinese, but of course that was when it was a rugby song, sung by all and not just associated with the English as they had no decent songs of their own!

Anyway, nobody mentioned, "I know a dog whose name is Rover, Tra, La, La"
 

phil245

LE
Book Reviewer
#89
She was poor by she was honest.

She stood on the bridge at midnight,
looking at the silver moon.
She said " Sir, I've never had it",
But she spoke the bleeding soon.


She stood on the bridge at midnight,
picking blackheads from her crotch.
She said " Sir, i never had it,
he said " No, not bleeding much".

It's the same the whole world over,
It's the poor that get the blame.
It's the rich that the pleasure,
Ain't it all a fcuking shame.
 
L

lumpy2

Guest
#90
The doggies held a meeting
They came from near and far
Some came by motorcycle
and some by motor car
Each doggy found the entrance
Each doggy signed the book
Then each unzipped his shitter
And hung it on a hook

One dog was not invited
Which sorely raised his ire
He rushed into the meeting
And loudly bellowed "FIRE!"
Amid all the confusion
And without a second look
Each grabbed another's shitter
From off a different hook

And that's the reason why sir
When walking down the street
And that's the reason why sir
When doggies chance to meet
And that's the reason why, sir,
On land or sea or foam
Each sniffs the other's shitter
To see if it's his own.


No idea what the correct tune should be, possibly the British Grenadiers, but it works equally well to "The Yellow Rose of Texas" :)
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
#91
theres a book or a CD in this thread it would be an ideal chrimbo prezzy.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
#93
There once was a monk of great renown
Who took a girl from out her town
(chorus)
The sod! The dirty old sod!
The bastard deserves to die.
Fuck him.
Hats off, let us pray
Glory, glory Hallelujah.

He took her to his marble hall
He crushed her tits against the wall.
(Chorus).....

Does anyone remember the rest?
 
L

lumpy2

Guest
#94
What a wonderful fish the sole is
What wonderful fish are soles
It's strange to relate
I'm partial to skate
and mackerel that swim round in shoals

What a wonderful fish the sole is
What wonderful fish are soles
Most tasty of fish
To serve on a dish
Are soles, are soles, are soles!!!
 
#95
Ah-ha the Cecils song or as I have often referred to it over the years, The Eton Wanking Song.
Another verse IIRC is:

I went to a man in Maidstone
To sell my motor car.
He asked me, "What's your bottom price?"
I said first I'd sell the car...
 
#96
Then is there is:

Sambo was a lazy c***

Site regs prevent me from expanding any further than the fact that in the next line he went to sleep in the afternoon.
 

phil245

LE
Book Reviewer
#97
I I I I I Like the good old vino,
My sister, Belinda, Pissed out of the window,
all over my new sombrero.

Anyone remember the rest?.



Dinah, Dinah show us your leg,
Show us your leg, show us your leg.
Dinah, Dinah show us your leg,
A yard above your knee.

A rich girl uses Vaseline,
A poor girl uses lard.
But Dinah uses axle grease
because her cnut's so hard.

A rich girl uses sanitary towels,
a poor girls uses a sheet.
but Dinah uses nothing at all,
leaves a trail along the street.

A rich girl has a ring of gold,
a poor girl one of brass.
But the only ring that Dinah has,
is the ring around her arse.

A rich girl rides in a limousine,
A poor girl rides in a truck.
The only time that Dinah rides,
Is when she has a fcuk.
 
L

lumpy2

Guest
#99
Don't know if this is a rugby song, but my dad used to regale us with the following when I was quite young:

One morning in the vestry
The vicar said, for fun
"I bet I've had more c*** than you"
The verger he said "Done-
Stand at the door when they come in
And this shall by the sign
You say ding-dong for the c*** you've had
I'll say Ping-Pong for mine"

Ding-a-ding-a-dong,ding-a-dong, ping pong
Ding-a-ding-a-dong, Ping-Pong
There were more ding-dongs than there were ping-pongs
Just then one big old sort came along
"Ping Pong" said the verger
"No Ping Pong there -
that is my wife, I do declare"
"I don't give a damn cos I 've been there"
Ding-a-ding-a-dong, Ping-Pong.
 

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