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The Baptism.

Paddy's wife drags him down to the river, where Father Murphy had decided to baptise his flock. The priest grabbed Paddy by the scruff, ducked his head and held it down. He yanked Paddy up and bellowed. "Have ye found God Paddy?" Paddy shook his head. "No Father." Father Murphy, hand still grasping Paddy firmly by the neck, stuffed his head back into the river and held it down..down. He dragged a gasping Paddy up and repeated. "Have ye found God Paddy?" Paddy whimpered. "No Father Murphy sorr." The priest roared, "No?" and in went Murphy's head again........He yanked him up and screamed right into the gasping, spluttering, half drowned man's ear. "Have..you..found..God, Paddy? "Jasus, no Father. But before ye push me down agin, are ye sure this is where he fell in?"

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