The Bane of a Subalterns Life

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Dwarf, Apr 3, 2007.

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  1. On a light-hearted note, probably because I am on holiday and it is raining.
    Subalterns on a daily basis have to deal with, COs, Adjts, OCs, 2Ics, RSMs, Sgt Majs, Sgts, QMs, Cpls, and sundry people who all conspire to make the subaltern wish to crawl back under that worthless stone from whence he came and never ever come out again.
    What is/was your particular bane?

    Not quite RSMs, though as a newly commissioned from the ranks 2Lt I did nervously address the RSM as sir. No bollocking or comment was forthcoming he simply gave me a wolf-like smile, very unnerving, and the telepathic message was, “Yes young Dwarf you have correctly worked out our relationship”

    Mine was tall Adjutants.
    Conversations often went on the lines of;
    “Dwarf come over here please”
    “Ooof! Yes sir what have I done now?”

    Still undecided about Apfelkorn.
    Bad head the morning after a heavy night on the stuff, five hours kip, and kicked out of doss-bag to take platoon on a BFT. Numbah 10.
    Given a slug at 0600 when inspecting platoon positions in low-mist and cold.
    “How sor, get this doon yer neck”. Numbah 1.

    What about you?
  2. i do feel a tad sorry for the young subby, even the lcpls have a sly dig every now and then... take pleasure in knowing that one day you'll be able to do it to another hapless victim fresh from the factory
  3. Good to hear the life of a Subbie is still very much the same.

    Bane of my life as a Subbie - German bouncers.
  4. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    The call from the Adjt...

    "Duke, pop up to my office will you. I need you to be attending officer at a court case for Pte Bloggs Carlisle"

    For Carlisle insert any other town of your choice, as long as it is at least 4 hours drive from wherever you are based, preferably further.
  5. Hmmm, I remember a golden period of about 6 months when there were enough subbies in the Bty and I almost knew what I was doing!

    What fun days they were...

    Naturally I was posted early due to being content!
  6. Your Company Commander isn't mentioned, Dwarf; he either likes you or he's slipping!

  7. All Officers and SNCOs in the OCs office - all in SD and No 2s, about to leave the unit for a memorial service

    bewildered young subby stumbles in the room with hat in one hand, sam browne and tie in the other.

    quick witted Sgt spouts ' and who helped you get dressed this morning Sir?'

    couldn't do anything for laughing, bless 'im.
  8. The utter bewilderment of being allowed out in the wide regimental world . . .
  9. Having only 3 subbies in Bn for a while. Hence when one went away on gunnery it was day on day off Orderly hoop for a month. Every day my platoon would inquire as to what i'd done to deserve so many extras? Broke me.
  10. I was 1 of 2 for a while - now that was no fun either!!
  11. My heart bleeds.........................
  12. Cant believe a miserable LE wasn't included in your list!
  13. Having gone from SNCO to Subbie I had rather hoped that my own experience of making the lives of junior officers shall we say "difficult" would stand me in good stead.

    Sadly not. Frequently I find myself on the receiving end of OR type "digs" plus knowing how and why they are doing it only adds a further kick in the seat of the pants.

    Recently I too called the RSM "Sir" for the second time in a few months. He replied "That zip in the back of your head should have cured that Maam. Please get a grip" :D

    My most recent gaffe was last Tuesday evening whilst standing admiring the BBQ pit as part of our prep for an impending Troop Barbie: "So, Sgt XX what are going to be putting on the BBQ then?" which resulted in a scathing look and the comment "I was thinking charcoal Maam...." I deserve it I tell you, I deserve it.
  14. Seen and I raise you:
    "Ring Ring"
    "Joker speaking sir"
    "Ah Joker, this is the adjuant what are you plans for tomorrow - don't bother telling me, listen in. You and two handy SNCO are going to go and pick up a prisoner from Bulford and transport him to a DCM in Catterick, you fly tonight, pick him up and drive for DCM scheduled tomorrow afternoon, after which you return him to Colly or Bulford depending on the result, grab your service dress and get on numbnuts"
    "When am I to be back Sir"
    "First parade the following morning"

    Cue Joker and two handy SNCO flying to UK, driving across the country and up to North, 2 hours sleep and then into the DCM. Then drive back south and then fly back to airport. Drivers hours straight out of the window.

    How we laughed all the way :cry:
  15. Officers Morning Coffee.

    Woe betide you if:

    1. You were late,
    2. Coffee not ready when CO walks in,
    3. Insufficient selection of suitably posh biscuits,
    4. Insufficient pink wafer-type biscuits for the CO,
    5. Not enough cups,
    6. Not enough coffee - other subbies on a coffee fest tended to hinder this one.

    Oh, the unbridled joy of a new young-un being posted in! :highfive: