The Ballad of John Smeaton

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by piespies, Jul 6, 2007.

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  1. ‘Twas doon by the inch o’ Abbots
    Oor Johnny walked one day
    When he saw a sicht that troubled him
    Far more that he could say
    A fanatic muslim bastard
    Wiz doin what he’d planned
    And intae Glesca’s departure hall
    A Cherokee he’d rammed.

    A big Glaswegian polis
    Came forward tae assist
    He thocht “a wumman driver”
    Or at least someone half-pissed
    But to his shock nae drunken Jock
    Emerged to grasp his hand
    But a flamin Arab loony
    Frae Al Qaeda’s band

    The mad Islamist nut-case
    Had set hissel’ on fire
    And swung oot at the polis
    GBH his clear desire
    Now that’s no richt wur Johnny cried
    And sallied tae the fray
    A left hook and a heid butt
    Required tae save the day.

    Now listen up Bin Laden
    Yir sort’s nae wanted here
    For imported English radicals
    Us Scoatsman huv nae fear
    Oor hame grown Glesca Asians
    Will have nae bluidy truck
    So tak yer worldwide jihad
    An get yersel tae F***
  2. Rab Burns couldn't have improved on this :D :D :D


    SLR (Not to be confused with SLR Boy).
  3. Fantastic. With your kind permission I'll pass this on to some friends. Naturally, due credit will be given.

  4. I am not Worthy! :worship: :worship: :worship:

    Sheer quality! :D
  5. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

  6. Just wanted to be clear, I didn't write it - see the link at the bottom for the source. Just wanted to share it with the ARRSE mob who I knew would appreciate it!