The backfiring soldier...

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by hansvonhealing, Nov 9, 2006.

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  1. The Times
    November 09, 2006

    Rocket stunt backfires as soldier aims too low
    By Michael Horsnell

    The blue touchpaper was lit and everyone retired immediately, just as the firework code recommends.
    That is, except for the squaddie who had recently returned home from a tour of duty in Iraq, and thought that Bonfire Night needed enlivening.

    The soldier was on all fours with his trousers down and a certain part of his anatomy pointing at the stars with a Black Cat Thunderbolt rocket firmly in place.

    The stunt, which mimicked a scene in the controversial film Jackass: The Movie, went off with a bang at the end of the display in Sunderland, but it backfired on the intrepid squaddie.

    The man, aged 22, ended up in his local hospital, where he is being treated for a scorched colon and other injuries.

    In something of an under-statement, safety experts said yesterday that launching a rocket from the backside was a practice that contravened the firework code.

    Police and paramedics were called to the Monkwearmouth area of the city on Bonfire Night. A spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service said: “We received a call at 9.38pm and a crew was sent out. The report stated there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding. He was attended to and taken to Sunderland Royal Hospital.”

    Daniel Kassim, 16, witnessed the incident. He said: “There were around 40 of us at a bonfire. After the fire had finished we were hanging around setting off fireworks. The lad was saying: ‘This is boring, what can we do?’ He decided to put a rocket up his backside and set it off. Everyone was just laughing and didn’t believe he would do it but he pulled his trousers down, placed the firework and someone lit it.

    “It exploded within a few seconds and he fell to the ground. No one thought he was hurt, we all thought it was hilarious.

    “He stood up and walked for a few metres before stumbling and falling to the ground. There was blood coming from his bum. An ambulance was called and when they arrived they thought it was hilarious as well. No one really took it seriously.”

  2. This is taking the dance of the flaming arrseholes to a new level.
  3. All I can say is this: If you think that's funny then you're...

    a Flamin' Arrshole!!!!!
  4. He's earned his amber wings.
  5. And in true 21st multimedia tradition, the "event" was of course recorded for posterior-ity, and available on a website for you to download.

    Any bets on the media following up with; "Bullying Army NCO, told me that I needed a rocket up my ARRSE" or similar.

    For those unable to comprehend the scene, the Metro helpfully published the attached video still.

    Attached Files:

  6. He's now joined together with a semicolon.
  7. To be fair, this isn't something that is explicitly covered by the fireworks code.
    Perhaps we'll be seeing new warnings next year.

    "Super Atom Death Blaster Firework - do not insert into anus"
  8. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

  9. I thought the idea was to use the "crack" as the launch rail, not insert the pointy end up the sphincter :oops:

    He could have been thrilled to bits... :twisted: