The arrsers poem

Discussion in 'Poetry Corner' started by rogue_trader, Dec 22, 2010.

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  1. If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too:
    If you can walt and hate mongs for walting,
    Or, being lied about, just make up more lies,
    Or being hated give way to childish jokes about peoples mothers,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream---then you are a walter;
    If you can think---why are you here?,
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same:.
    If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    your life criticised by a bunch of fools;

    If you can make one heap of all your opinions
    And risk it on one racist remark,
    And lose, and start again with a new user account,
    And never breathe a word about your old one:
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To stay awake until 4am arguing with tossers about the positioning of a capbadge,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

    If you can talk with crowds and you have no virtue,
    Or walt like a king---even though you have the common touch,
    If every ****** on this site hates you,
    If they all flame you, but none too much:
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of bullshit typed,
    Yours is the Forum and everything that's in it,
    And---which is more---you'll be an Arrser, my son!
  2. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    You've managed to get into my top ten list of people I'd like to hit with a shovel
  3. Didn't know you were a Green Jacket
  4. **** off ****.
  5. If Kipling was alive today he'd batter the ****.
  6. Two questions;

    Other 9 being?
    Why a shovel?
  7. I love it! Think you might have touched a nerve with some r_t - truth hurts as they say
  8. Why would a baker care about some questionable poetry?
  9. there once was a rabbi named keith
    who curcumsized men with his teeth
    it wasn't for pleasure nor sexual treasure
    but to get to the cheese underneath

    now theres a poem (albeit misspelt in places)
  10. hmmm did I say batter?
  11. "Before i'd touch a square bitch's slit, I'd suck a thousand clappy pricks and swim through liquid shit, They got green puke between their rotten toes, and snot runs from their funky nose, I hope square bitches become syphiliitic wrecks, I hope they fall through their own assholes and break their mother-******* necks."

    --Iceberg Slim

    Now thats poetry.
  12. I know his cousin iceberg lettuce