The ARRSE Olympics - Events would you enter ARRSErs for?

#1
24 hours into Beijing. What events would have members of ARRSE up there on the rostrum, with the national anthem being played?

Freestyle Monging - representing Great Britain, the Chubb.

Synchronised Walting - Mike "gonna kick da fuck outta Sandy" Golden.

Sweating like a rapist when talking about military matters - Des Browne.

Who else?
 
#2
Sychronised screaming shouting and pointing ?
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Chair throwing
Pulling the outrage bandwagon with just their teeth
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Post Naafi pished - up windmilling/mincing fighting. First to drop his/her chips loses. If said punch up results in a tie, then medals are decided by projectile vomiting distances. Judging compiled by random gobshite ginger slag and her 2 fat mates.
 
#9
A 100 word non-text speak sprint.
 
#10
The "where the fook are we" cross country run

Competitors are taken into the countryside, at night, and have to find their way back to the stadium.



The "spade and hammer"

Anyone ever play that? dig in a spade, put a tin of compo on the handle, and then from a set distance have to knock it off with a hammer.



The "sarcastic/abuse race"

Everyone on here would be good at that surely?
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#11
Syncronised Heffer shagging. After enticing said slag back to barracks, Team (10 mates) proceed to rag cow stupid, taking turns to do the nasty. Judging completed by bunkmate deemed uncliquey enough to participate. Points awarded for time lasted, grunt factor, spit roasting, toys used/inventiveness & creativity, sploog across the back distance and watersports.
 
#12
Distance pissing
Jerk off competition
Syncronised ironing
dizzy pole 100m (only becuase that would be funny as fcuk!)
 
#13
Javelin throwing but with a Teddy - nearest the corner wins.

Transport to and from this prestigious event is provided by the Outrage Bandwagon.
 
#14
Me and someone else in the three legged race 8)


Gren said:
The "spade and hammer"

Anyone ever play that? dig in a spade, put a tin of compo on the handle, and then from a set distance have to knock it off with a hammer.
RE's used to call it "Nurdling". Points were scored depending on how the tin was dislodged:

Hammer head to tin = 4 points
Hammer shaft to tin = 3 points
Hammer head to shovel = 2 points
Hammer shaft to shovel = 1 points
Nothing for a miss!
 
#15
Might as well keep to what everyone seems to be best at:

Jumping to Conclusions, Fying off the Handle and Dodging the Issues along with Synchronised Outrage. Should see gold in all of those.
 
#18
k13eod said:
Me and someone else in the three legged race 8)


Gren said:
The "spade and hammer"

Anyone ever play that? dig in a spade, put a tin of compo on the handle, and then from a set distance have to knock it off with a hammer.
RE's used to call it "Nurdling". Points were scored depending on how the tin was dislodged:

Hammer head to tin = 4 points
Hammer shaft to tin = 3 points
Hammer head to shovel = 2 points
Hammer shaft to shovel = 1 points
Nothing for a miss!
I posted a thread on here forever ago asking for anyone else who played nurdles! linky

NOW you tell me it should be an olympic sport and I haven't been practising !!!! I think we ought to have a REAL Arse olympics!!
 
#19
k13eod said:
Me and someone else in the three legged race 8)


Gren said:
The "spade and hammer"

Anyone ever play that? dig in a spade, put a tin of compo on the handle, and then from a set distance have to knock it off with a hammer.
RE's used to call it "Nurdling". Points were scored depending on how the tin was dislodged:

Hammer head to tin = 4 points
Hammer shaft to tin = 3 points
Hammer head to shovel = 2 points
Hammer shaft to shovel = 1 points
Nothing for a miss!
Haha Nurdling, thats the chappie, I loved that game, few hours to kill on any training area flew by playing that, ahhh happy days :)

We gave points for a splash up knock off though, ie hammer hits mud, mud splashes up, tin falls off.
 
#20
Bottles and Human Bridging k13eod?!

Hammer - location, Beijing Secret Police HQ, Team of 10 ARRSEr's have to pick five British politicians and against the clock, have just one go with each hammer, ball-pein, claw, lump, sledge. Who cares if we don't win a medal! Marks for style, accuracy of blow, number of hits "on-target", etc.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
fairy_nuff The NAAFI Bar 21
wireless_barf The NAAFI Bar 21
growler ARRSE: Site Issues 12

Similar threads


New Posts

Latest Threads

Top