The Arrse Manifesto

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by MrShanklysboots, Jan 26, 2007.

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  1. I have been reading various threads and I have a question.

    Whilst our Politicians are undoubtedly duplicitous, self aggrandising, aggravating, arrogant arrseholes, could we - the great Arrse community do any better?

    Would we be corrupted by holding the reins of power? What would our policies be?

    I have had some thoughts (being a monkey they tend to be along the crime and punishment route) :headbang:

    So - my two pennorth - for what good it does.

    1. Get rid of the Human rights act forthwith - allow common sense back into the Political Arena.

    2. Now the prisoners don't have any Human rights treat them with the contempt they deserve. They get put into chain gangs and start working on all the community projects that require some hard graft. Preferably they wear a jumpsuit with their crime written across the back in big scary letters (Rapist, Fraudster, Murderer et al) As an aside I believe they should be made to work in the community that they committed their crime in.

    3. Any Foreign national convicted of a crime that does not attract a custodial sentence is immediately deported to their country of origin. They obviously don't want to play by our rules (in that they committed the crime in the first place) so why should we play by theirs? Also, if it does attract a custodial they are immediately deported after the sentence, for the same reasons. They are then banned from re entry to the country.

    4. The Police are funded well enough to get patrols back on to the streets. Interestingly this could be revenue neutral by getting rid of a few partnership initiatives and swingeing cuts in middle management. We need coppers at the coalface, not in the office.

    5. Ditto the NHS. Cut the managers on 30K a year and a company car and reinvest it into staff who actually do the job of fixing and healing. I'm not saying it was any better in the good old days, but the entire female side of my family were nurses. They scoff at the idea of a bedding manager. They had two managers. The senior consultant looked after the doctors and ensured drugs were ordered and the Senior Matron looked after everything else.

    6. The Armed Forces are given the funds they need to fight the battles that they are asked to deploy to. Investment is brought back to around the 5% of GDP that it needs to be (ie around about double what it is now - the lowest it has been since the thirties and we all know how well prepared we were to face off against the wehrmacht in 1940 thanks to years of underinvestment).

    7. The travesty of our Commonwealth soldiers fighting to keep their families with them stops. They have made - at the very least - a four year commitment to Britain. The least we can do is give them and their families indefinite leave to remain and a passport at the end of it. I don't give a crap what colour their skin is - they all wear green and we all bleed red. They have done a lot more for us than some burberry wearing chav whose only worry is what he can nick next to fund his next hit.

    A bit shotgun I know - but are there any more suggestions as to what could go on a manifesto?

    TTFN Heed
  2. a good starter for 10.................awaiting the bleeding hearts brigade led by sven to pull it to pieces piecemeal
  3. Can I edit that forign nationals who are convicted are deported to serve there sentence at home, I don't want to pay for their accomodation over here if they can't play with our trainset!

    Also Immigrants must learn how to be british, they are attracted over here, thus must fit in, not us having to change to accomodate them. I'm happy for them to follow their religion etc, but our law is our law and you will respect it. What defines being british can be found in numerous other arrse threads and a bill can be compiled from them.

    Political parties are disbanded. Politicials are elected for being who they are, and what they stand for, not what their party tells them they satnd for. The PM is elected on a national vote of the elected MP's.

    Criminals will work for the good of the state (hard labour etc). And woe betide them if they feck it up. Sticks and stones WILL break your bones!

    I think thats a start?
  4. I agree, It's a good start at a manifesto. I would venture to suggest that a large part of the population that would go for this are a group of people who are moving into population prominence. I'm talking about all us boom babies who are now coming up to active retirement and are sick to the back teeth with the way this pathetic group of wallies have buggered Law and Order, the NHS, Education, the Military and last and by no means least, Pensions. It seems to me that we have the votes but not the clout. Lets see where this goes, like I said, Its a good start, Squaddies and Pensioners, what a combination.
  5. 1 Human rights act we signed up to it in 1945 the uk law was passed so the case's can be settled in the uk rather than going to Europe bad law and craven lawyers bit like health and safety legislation good idea badaly implemented

    2 money and or need having dangerous crims out in the open not a brilliant plan

    3 good idea but given the home offices lack of ablity immigration service is a joke massive reform needed probs arise when the othere state refuses to take its own people back e.g.china or scumbag hails from somalia how the feck do you send them back praticly not like theres an easyjet black hawk to moghidishu is there :(

    4 copper nicks someone thats them off the street for the rest of there shift
    plus over time

    5 NHS is massivly more complicated than then possible need to cut back on buearcracy

    6 sort the MOD out first we already have 4th largest defence budget on planet and the lads get screwed

    7 agree wholeheartidly
  6. Yep - or re-write it to put in black and white the ARRSE Manifesto


    Add to this that if a British National of foreign origin (go back 2 generations) is found to be espousing hate for the British way of life, they get the same - send them back to their parents/grandparents country of origin. Being granted citizenship is subject to agreeing to the laws and customs and can be withdrawn; citizenship of children can also be withdrawn.

    Proceeds of crime act - rather than putting recovered crim funds back in a central pot, the force that grabs it, keeps it.

    Sort out the over-paid surgery doctor issue. Get rid of PFI.

    Plan ahead. The USA funds its forces so that they are able to meet two serious threats at one time in two places around the globe. We should do the same.

    Not only this, but foreigners that sign up to fight for our causes ala Ghurkas get paid the same money. They take the same risks.

    8. Politicians sign up to serve the people of this country. It's a big and full time job. Pay them more, but deny them outside interests. No speaking circuits afterwards, no directorships of companies, no retainers etc. It must be their one and only interest. Commercial interests are a no-go. No more Halliburton, no more Gambling interests muddying the waters of British Gummint.

    9. Make the House of Lords membership one that is not party political. The names are put forward by anyone, including politicians and the reasons for doing so must be clear for all to see. EVERYONE can vote once every 4 years for those that get life membership and those that get a four year tenure; all on the merits of the person concerned. Their track record in the house can be seen and if needed, they caan be removed. Once this is in place, give the Lords more teeth to scrutinise and block the commons.

    10. Nominations for Prime Minister are done in the same manner - the party OR the people nominate who they think should control the party and EVERYONE votes on it.

    11. Alternatively, remove the Party Political System. This way you get more fluid alliances and more representative Gummint. No party can then muffle its members, get rid of the whips.
  7. Agreed. I would also add:

    No dual nationality. Any immigrant who becomes a British citizen must renounce their former nationality. Any native born Briton who accepts a foreign nationality automatically looses their British citizenship.

    Immigrants must learn to speak English. Two years living in a country is plenty of time to learn to speak the language with reasonable fluency. If they can’t speak English when they get here they could have subsidised English language courses and help translating official documents, but only for the first two years. After that, they get no support.
  8. The cost savings in the huge bureaucracys are easily made. Monster organisations like Government ministries, the NHS and the rail companies regularly spunk huge chunks of their budgets on 'Management Consultants' because none of the existing managers have the bollcks to make any decisions on their own.

    So another ARRSE manifesto pledge could be:

    Ban public sector use of management consultants and re-invest savings at the coal-face of said organisation.

  9. Or id the managemennt consultants are so good, employ them and fire the current managers!
  10. Crime,
    Bring in Joe Arpaio as head of prisons in the UK make them such horrible places like he has done , therfore shorter sentancing and less people willing to go back lower prison populace in a short time

    The forces pull all troops out from the Balkans and Iraq give 5 years to re-quip, train and get manning levels back to normal and more importantly let them spend time with their families. Overhaul the procurement system and cut out snivel servants were possible. tough penalties on project over run costs and late into service dates. Accom sorted as no1 priority if universities can have student flats built in record time why can't the MoD?

    End to sham/forced marriages quota on number coming into UK along the lines of Oz. Adopt the Dutch model were asylum seekers are processed in 10 days those not getting it deported straight away those successful then move onto the Swedish model were they must attend language classes and are not allowed to leave until they can read from a newspaper..if they do bye bye benefits. Those committing crimes deported for life cash and assets confiscated and returned to the crown.

    End those stupid middle management and consultant/quango roles were money is spent willy nilly. Stop health tourists from abusing the services most are wealthy enough to pay private why not do so.

    Overseas spending charity begins at home stop all this handing out of lottery cash on shi1te and tax payers money that gets pocked by corrupt officials. Invest it in old peoples services ....we owe them and we will be old one day ourselves. Put the money into kids services give them things to do and keep them off the street.

    Legalise prostitution along the lines of Germany and even perhaps certain drugs out of organized gangs.
  11. Good points!

    Build more prisons, less parole - if standard parole halves a sentence, then the sentence period is pointless. If someone gets 15 years for murder - they DO 15 years, not 7.5!

    Make the National lottery what it is supposed to be - entirely for charity, decided by the people, for the people, only in the UK.

    Reverse the moronic gambling laws to show pove that our politicians on not in the pockets of gangsters and the moraly deficient.

    Being given nationality of a country is an HONOUR that must be earned, not a god-given right to any waste of space who cares nothing for the language or the culture.

    End 'cultural diversity' and the barriers to integration that it creates. STOP diluting the British way of life and culture!
  12. ARRSE Manifesto my fückin' arrse! You all seem to have become victims of a gigantic wah! The OP was a Monkey, FFS! He's now enlisting ARRSE in his (virtual internet) bid to recover some of the ostensible "authority" he's lost due to being a civvie.

    It should essentially be a major concern of all of us that we gradually progress to a happier, more content and more enlightened society (in spite of the best efforts of the Septics), but all I've seen so far on this thread is a reiteration of petty selfishness.

    Wise up, laydeez 'n' gennulmen!

  13. Bugs - Erm What?

    a. I'm "former" nothing. I still serve with pride.

    b. I don't want authority, I have it in my day to day job. I come on here for debate and ideas. Not forgetting a bloody good laugh in the NAAFI bar. I asked for ideas - my question stands, can WE do any better than those we vote for (or not in my case)?

    c. You're gobby enough elsewhere - front up - where are your suggestions if any? Failing that let those who wish to contribute do so.

    TTFN Heed
  14. You must be licenced to have kids - this will cut down on cr*p chav perants
    Bring back Caning to schools and cut out the 'teachers can't touch kids' cr*p
    Bring back smacking - if i was a tw*t then i got whacked round the head, i'm sure most of you did too, and it hasn't done anything to me at all
  15. Are you absolutely SURE that's a good idea?

    You'll be saying catholic priests should be allowed to too next!