The Arrse Hunt

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by sheldrake, Aug 3, 2006.

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  1. sheldrake

    sheldrake RIP

    There must be a few of us on here that ride. Why don't we start a hunt? There is a new hunt starting round the corner from me and we could offer to "exercise their hounds".

    Now, all the land around by me is already hunted over, but I was thinking maybe we go to Walthamstow, Battersea, Wandsworth or somewhere like that, which doesn't already get hunted over.

    For quarry, could I suggest that there is none finer than the Walt. It is a devious creature which is rarely seen in daylight, prefering the sanctity of its mother's back room while indulging in onanist acts. It can however be flushed, and I propose APFSDSDU as Whip because he's good at that sort of thing.

    Now, here's the clever part. Because the Walt is a species not covered under the Hunting Bill we can hunt it with hounds and let them finish the job off. Of course, the other suitable quarry would be the Chav for exactly the same reasons. It is more prolific than the Walt, can often be seen in daytime and is easier to catch. Less sporting but it is a day out.

    Cameron would obviously oppose this, because he thinks we should hug the vermin, but I think that it would get the Great British Public onside and provide a valuable vermin control service.

    I can't wait to go to my tailor and say, "Levi, run me up an Arrse Pink!"

    Or indeed to say that I "Follow the Arrse"

    Any takers?

    I'm fairly certain that this follows on from a walt thread, but indulge me! :lol:
  2. Be a bit of a busmans holiday for you mate
  3. sheldrake

    sheldrake RIP

    Set myself up for that :oops:
  4. The only arrse I want to hunt is what AF1771 posted in Arrse publicity in the coppermine.Truly nice arrse and it assumes the position.
  5. We could have a reciprocal arrangement with the Galway Arrsers...
  6. excellent idea. you set it up, let me know the details.

    and i shall organise the Arrse Hunt Saboteurs. we can make a day of it :)
  7. I like the cut of your gib. I always fancied having a bash at hunting. Not that I've got anything in particular against foxes. I just like the idea of using my 17.1 hh beastie to breast down bedreadlocked unwashed gnarly toothed antis.

    Another angle might be that although the Act bans hunting with dogs, it doesn't say anything about cats. So I propose that in additin to an Arrse pack, we have an Arrse pride of lions to be used account for hunt sabotuers.
  8. Why not a GM pack of lion-wolfhound crosses, for whom the words League Against Cruel(sic) Sports are sufficient to render them viciously deranged? They would only become controllable once again with the command word "Cherie's gusset".

    We could also tinker with their DNA so that they could smell out a vegan socialist at 300 yards and run them down within seconds.
  9. Ill come along, you ride your horses and ill take "That disgusting motor" with me, a few splatted chavs over the paintwork might improve its looks, could nick name it -
    "The blood splats and burbery hats" :D:D:D:D
  10. Come and hunt in oldham, theres plenty of sport. Looking forward to deploying the caltrops as we speak.
  11. sheldrake

    sheldrake RIP

    Thank you for the offer Cpl. Bit busy at the moment though. Already have an invite to hunt down a couple of Cheshires in Ellesmere Port.

    Once we're done there, we'll come back to you and arrange something. :wink:

    You'd be most welcome. Virtually all hunts have mobile supporters. You can be the first. :D
  12. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Can I suggest that the job of Terrier Men be offered to members of a
    certain "boathouse" club, somewhere near the Welsh borders???

    They would be excellent at flushing the quarry from the rat holes into which
    they might dive/infest. Although their handler would have to keep a tight leash to prevent them taking all the sport for themselves!!