The ARRSE guide to SCH's

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by steven seagull, Feb 5, 2013.

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  1. Recently I've noticed several members (snigger) make complete toilets of themselves publically over some of the slack clouted, boring and gigantic wazz flapped SCH's that infect thise site. While I find grown men weeping publically amusing to the point that I end up with tears in all three of my eyes I do think there should be some kind of sticky or guide to stop newer members from being drawn into their spotty cunted webs.

    While the idea of hooking up with a fragrant, well educated and beautiful young lady for feverish, uninhibited sex on a four poster in a nice country house full of leather bound books and the rich smell of mahogany is devine, the reality will be a lazy handjob from an overweight gronk on a sofa bought from a weekly payments store in a council house smelling of cat food and despair.

    So what advice do you have for young bucks and old alcoholics before they start sniffing around like my dog when the babysitter is on blob? What funny or cautionary tales can you share?

    The floor is yours cunts.
     
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  2. If its name and avatar are sexually suggestive it's likely to weigh 25stone, sweat like an old cart horse and smell like an otter.
     
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  3. Its like you were there; I recently borrowed a bloke's cammo jacket and shirt to pull a bird; she was stunning when I took her home, but in the morning....
     
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  4. Or be a bored ARRSEr with a rod (Pun maybe intended).

    Sockpuppets drawing in sexually deprived members is a tad embarrassing. If you listen hard enough, ever so carefully, you can hear the thrapping sounds reverberate through the screen
     
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  5. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    While the idea of hooking up with a fragrant, well educated and beautiful young lady for feverish, uninhibited sex on a four poster in a nice country house full of leather bound books and the rich smell of mahogany is devine, the reality will be a lazy handjob from an overweight gronk on a sofa bought from a weekly payments store in a council house smelling of cat food and despair.

    You say that like it is a bad thing! You have obviously been spoiled.
     
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  6. Can I just state for the record, I do not own a cat.
     
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  7. But your name is sexually suggestive.

    Or is that just me?
     
  8. If a man finds himself drawn to defending such creatures he has a problem. We need a support group for people like Jack H, Monty and a few others.
     
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  9. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    That's ok, I will bring my own.
     
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  10. But the sofa from Brighthouse was a bargain
     
  11. I just find you a boring bitch at times jarrod. That is all.
     
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  12. SCH.....? Or SCHs, as I believe was meant by our chum the Greengrocer.
     
  13. So sweet and considerate, our Jarrod is.
     
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  14. Technically, Jarrod is a SCH too.