Hello warriors of fortune! Recently watched, with a mate, a back-to-back movie fest that consisted of: The Wild Geese Ronin Who Dares Wins It took quite a lot of drink to get through the last one, to be honest. Anyway, imagine we are setting up an ARRSE mercenary company to liberate the tiny country of Dirka Dirkastan from the evil dictator General Xorg as part of a CIA deniable operation. I am currently recruiting, but I need to know: 1. Your "Merc Name" 2. Your previous experience (for example, Steven Segal was a Special Forces chef, right?) 3. Your preferred weapon of choice to take out sentries (a la Hardy Kruger's crossbow) 4. Your daily rate in $US 5. Your hobbies, pastimes and any pets 6. Phobias or weaknesses (a la Mr. T and aeroplanes) 7. Anything else we really need to know, including warry outfit (DPM tutu, pink rubber forgman's outfit, you know the drill) I'm currently flying a Dakota with Julius Limbani onboard into the airport with a shot-up foot and a Monte Cristo No.4 clenched between my teeth. When I'm done I will choose the best mercs and post the next part of the mission. The poorest entry gets asked, at gunpoint, what colour the boathouse is. "Emile! Emile!" V! Edit: FFS I forgot to do mine! 1. Sergeant Charles "Charlie" Charles. 2. Six years performing top cover with a sawn-off with the 15th Mobile Laundry & Bathing Unit, RCT, Aden. Later served with the Norwich Mutual Insurance Company as their Man In Africa. TA Camel Corps and Long Range Recce, Jordan. Known as "Charlie Pasha." 3. Depends. Pub ashtray for close work, Vickers Gun when feeling subtle, sawn-off for everything else. 4. Is doing it for Tescos "Computers for Schools" vouchers and Air Miles. 5. Gardening, knitting tank-tops, bell-ringing, Middle-Eastern counter-insurgency with specific operational focus on mobile laundry and camels. Owns three camels (one armoured) and a spitting llama. 6. Dirty undergarments, body odour, large Turkish masseurs called Khalid carrying quart containers of vaseline. 7. Goes to war wearing solar topee, SF-porno tache, perma-tan and string vest. Has that fag-stain on his inside fingers that old squaddies always have.