The ARRSE Cabinet

#1
Looking at Peter Dows attempts to bring in a new government has got me thinking if ARRSE could rule the UK instead........we can look at the rest of the establishment later on but who would you have in the ARRSE cabinet?? A few of my suggestions would be.

Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service
The Right Honourable GOOD CO


Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council (with special responsibility for political and constitutional reform)
The Right Honourable BAD CO


HM Treasury
Chancellor of the Exchequer
The Right Honourable SPANISH DAVE


Foreign and Commonwealth Office
First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs
The Right Honourable SMUDGER67ER


Ministry of Justice
Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice
The Right Honourable SANDMANFEZ


Home Office
Secretary of State for the Home Department; and Minister for Women and Equalities
The Right Honourable THE_SNAIL


Ministry of Defence
Secretary of State for Defence
The Right Honourable FALLSCHIRMJAGER


Department for Work and Pensions
Secretary of State for Work and Pensions
The Right Honourable VIROBONO


Department of Health
Secretary of State for Health
The Right Honourable JARROD


Department for Business, Innovation and Skills
Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills, and President of the Board of Trade
The Right Honourable ARTERS


Department for Communities and Local Government
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government
The Right Honourable UGLY


Department for Transport
Secretary of State for Transport
The Right Honourable STACKER


Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
The Right Honourable BIGBIRD67


Department for International Development
Secretary of State for International Development
The Right Honourable FIVEALPHA


Department for Culture, Media and Sport
Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport
The Right Honourable DRAIN_SNIFFER


Northern Ireland Office
Secretary of State for Northern Ireland
The Right Honourable BRITISH AND PROUD


Scotland Office
Secretary of State for Scotland
The Right Honourable HEIDTHEBA


Wales Office
Secretary of State for Wales
The Right Honourable Porridge Gun


Office of the Leader of the House of Lords
Leader of the House of Lords
The Right Honourable REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE


Ive tried to put names next to jobs but if you think your better at the role or even the one whos been suggested voice your opinions. Main thing lads, laddettes and Sluggy we dont want the fuckwit Dow in charge. Nearly forgot we need a WHIP so think Dolly would be up for that one, if shes still around.
 
#5
You ought to put Stacker in charge of negotiations within the EU. His talent for unyielding, unreasoning refusal to engage with any argument on any terms bar his own, would be an asset in the role.
 
#6
Can I be Immigration Minister? Pretty please!

I promise to be fair and even handed
You nearly had a chance till you said Fair and Even Handed
 
#8
I'll be Minister for Europe if the job's going :-D
 
#9
You ought to put Stacker in charge of negotiations within the EU. His talent for unyielding, unreasoning refusal to engage with any argument on any terms bar his own, would be an asset in the role.
I wanted STACKER in the Cabinet so put him as Transport...but seeing hes RAG AND SHAG thought of either ptting him catering or Driving....that will teach him.
 
#10
That's lovely, now where do I get the expense forms from?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#14
Can I run the stationery store?
 
#15
Iron Duke wants to be SOS for Wales...he loves Welshies. Give him the job?

I would like to be Minister for Schools with special responsibility for all-girl Sixth Form Colleges...purely out of altruism.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#16
What would be even more interesting is who would be the Shadow Cabinet? :)
 
C

CivPlod

Guest
#17
I'd put myself forward for minister for shite excuses, but I only have one leg and I need to pick the kids up from school later.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
I wanted STACKER in the Cabinet so put him as Transport...but seeing hes RAG AND SHAG thought of either ptting him catering or Driving....that will teach him.
Should the need come to replace Hon STACKER, then perhaps he could take on the role of SPEAKER as he never stops speaking on these threads.
 
#19
i want to be minister for Wales. for £200,000 a year i would even move back there...
 
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