The ARRSE Bucket List

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by postman_twit, May 1, 2012.

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  1. Having done the London Marathon t'other weekend I now find myself with only one item left on my bucket list, this been the threesome with Natalia Imbruglia and Mel Sykes! ;-)

    Whilst I get the last item squared away, I was wondering what the good folk of ARRSE have on their lists?


  2. I wasn't planning on kicking it just yet, can I answer in a few years time?

  3. Tom Daley might be past it by then mate! ;-)
  4. Win the Euromillions

    Marry Sam Worthington

    Have 4 little miniature bundles of boozyness, 2 boys, 2 girls.

    Punch numerous dickheads in the boat race and kick them in the wotsits til they sound like a chipmunk on helium.

    Take a few years off and do a grand world tour, jump out of planes, off of clffs, snorkelling, deep sea diving, skiiing, boarding, surfing as well as visit all the ancient temples and things in various parts of the globe.

    Buy a castle in Scotland

    World Domination with me as Grand Supreme Dictator of Everything, and Steven_Seagull as my Deputy and Chief Administrator of punishment beatings/minister for eliminating cunts.
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  5. He might have had 'it' long before then.
  6. Best get cracking then! :)
  7. Riding a motorbike in the Himalayas and visiting the beer festival in Munich oh and a newer campervan
  8. Who's Tom Daley?
  9. Bucket list's are no good as long as Mrs Samain11 is around, however the main one must be..outliving her so's I can spend my money (which is mine after all and not just a bloody inheritance for the mini-me's who will have to fucking work like I did) on a fuck-off boat and go fishing..forever.
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  10. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    So much to do, so little time...

    A get-me-out-of-jail card on any offence whatsoever except kiddy fiddling, drunk driving or necking with Jarrod when blind drunk for a laugh.

    A 9mm with a mag like in dem filums

    An AK47 with a mag like in dem filums

    My own Ranch with my old horse Ric brought back to life instaed of being glue

    TSO to understand the simplest jokes.

    All Chavs/Walts/Blingers/Pikeys to be castrated and put to work on litter patrols, hole fixing and carrying my shopping

    Free air travel for all Arrsers to anywhere - only available to serving and ex-mob folks. All destinations to be lout and tourist free and all beaches to be virgin like the girls there

    The address of the cnuts who nicked our garden furniture. Yes, I am still bitter... and they'll pay

    To take over the Paulaner tent at the September Oktoberfest - yes, I know - and fill it with free Weissbier, Pommes mit Rot/Weiss and a halbes Haendel for all. Gurke, weiss Wuerstl, Breze and O'batza are not mandatory

    Etc. etc.
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  11. Climb Everest, trek the Sahara, work hard at being a dad so my daughter will grow up to be proud of me and deficate in a drug-riddled prostitute's mouth.

    The usual really.
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    To fulfil the prophecy. The Bird at an agricultural show simpering over some ponce who had a fully restored...


    "Why cant we have a proper Land Rover like this instead of that dirty smelly thing you've got?"

    Thank you God.
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  13. Have Simon Cowell on his hands and knee's beside my throne for me to snort chang off, while on the cue of a snap of my fingers he reminds me of 'You're the daddy Fat-Cav!'

    Top quality wine being served to me 24/7 by glamerous MILFs and the entertainment would consist of Jessie J and Tulisa in a esctasy fuelled Lezz-off.

    All of this would be on some cliff over looking the Med, not a million miles away from some classy resort where I can indulge my other passion of high-class hookery, lucious food and ogling totty as the day goes by.

    I'd even indulge in a bukakke session with all my good mates and Emma Watson as the willing recipient. She'll have to beg for it all first, and the guys would have to sign a disclaimer not to mention my hilariously small cock

    Sorry, what was the question again . . ?
    • Like Like x 1
  14. I was hopeing to get my golden jubilee medal from king William befor I peg it.
  15. FFS sake don't mention gongs or sh*ds!