The Arrse Bone threads Thread...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Gassing_Badgers, Oct 17, 2011.

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  1. Jeesus, but they seem to be spreading like some kind of weed!


    To spare the pain in other forums, how about a collection of pointless threads and questions right here, that can be used as a wiki by the dull and gormless.

    I'll start the bidding with these:

     
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  2. Leaving aside the "I killed a bloke when I was 15 but got released when I was 28. Can I still join the Army?"
    or the "I lost a leg in a train accident but I can still run a BFT in 5 minutes with my steel leg. Would I be accepted for the Paras?"
    and (my favourite) "Does losing a tooth stop you joining? (followed by) the Army has asked my doctor for my medical records. Could it be because I lost a tooth?"
    type questions, I think the one about the room inspections must have caused a few to come crawling out of the rocks.
    All the questions on medals should also be stuck in the bone thread. FFS, I think the RQ and tailor knows what order to mount them in and contact your admin staff to find out if you are allowed to wear the Bongo Bongo certificate of merit on your combats when the Queen visits! And any medal that has the words Queens and Jubilee in them should be mounted in pride of place on your toilet wall.
     
  3. I take it you never got the Queens Golden Jubilee Medal then, ex-bleep?
     
  4. Theres always the 'I have Bi Polar disorder and anger management issues and i also respond negatively to authority' that
    aside what are my chances of passing the medical ?
     
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  5. Or how about;

    "I killed a man in basic training whilst driving like a lunatic on camp, I basically hit him with my motor as he crossed the road outside the NAAFI. I was found guilty of dangerous driving but was never jailed (either in MCTC or civvie nick). I am now an LE Captain".

    The above actually happened.
     
  6. Oh, fuck. Does that mean I have to write to Soldier magazine? And can I have the Diamond one cos I'm still alive (and was before Betty even got on the throne - so where's my George VI funeral medal, then?)
    What a load of arrse.
     
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  7. .
    Sounds great to join up and get plenty of gongs, I will ask the rest of my brownie troop to join up now.



    Leaving aside the "I killed a bloke when I was 15 but got released when I was 28. Can I still join the Army?"
    or the "I lost a leg in a train accident but I can still run a BFT in 5 minutes with my steel leg. Would I be accepted for the Paras?"
    and (my favourite) "Does losing a tooth stop you joining? (followed by) the Army has asked my doctor for my medical records. Could it be because I lost a tooth?"
    type questions, I think the one about the room inspections must have caused a few to come crawling out of the rocks.
    All the questions on medals should also be stuck in the bone thread. FFS, I think the RQ and tailor knows what order to mount them in and contact your admin staff to find out if you are allowed to wear the Bongo Bongo certificate of merit on your combats when the Queen visits! And any medal that has the words Queens and Jubilee in them should be mounted in pride of place on your toilet wall.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. The SA80 SLR debate - second to when do we get paid or whats your 1.5 time - It is Groundhog day....."They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow "

    It is Groundhog day....."They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow "

    It is Groundhog day....."They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow "


    It is Groundhog day....."They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow "
     
  9. Is it true that there is a special place on a man's body that if you shoot it there, his head will explode?
     
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  10. images-24.jpeg
     
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  11. Nobody answered my question.

    I fire bombed my neighbors cat and raped his car. Can I still join the SAS?
     
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