The Army Brain

2nd April 2020 - Lockdown Day 12

It is 4 55 am . . . the first cup of tea of the day is quietly steaming on my desk as I write . . . I am thinking . . . Is there such a thing as “AnArmy Brain” ? . . .

My friend Maurice recently posted something which gave me food for thought . . . it was to do with the current Chinese Plague . . . I call it “The Chinese Plague” because my army brain believes in telling it the way it is . . .

China has recently tried to deny any responsibility in the current World-wide mass deaths, in spite of its obvious genesis in the slime and guts of one of their disgusting live animal food markets . . . and as an aside, I hear Russia is starting to portray it as a Western plot . . .

But my army brain is having none of it . . .

What do I mean by an “Army Brain” . . . . Maurice’s post hazarded the theory that there are three types of people . . .

Type One, generally middle-aged with a refined sense of responsibility, both to themselves and those they love . . . they can often be seen staring into the middle distance, silently mouthing “F**** , I better batten the hatches . . . I better get more stores in . . .

Type Two, on the other hand, are controlled bu events, rather than trying to control them . . . they are unprepared for anything . . . every thing is some one else’s fault . . .

Type Three are generally the type often referred to as “Millennials” or “Snowflakes” . . their sense of responsibility is almost totally absent, and what little there is is targeted at the wrong things, such as their smart phones and their trainers . . . they are constantly surprised that shit is happening to them . . .

I think that the steadiness found in type one people comes from their broader experience of life . . they have seen it all before . . .

OK . . I am prepared to accept that all the above is a simplification . . . but it also contains some basic truths . . and I am willing to bet the Pole Dancer’s chromium pole that a great many of type ones have had some experience in the uniformed services, both military and civil . . . And here we get to the army brain . . . for centuries the British soldier has had to think on his feet . . . he has to be not only aware of the moment, but to also have an eye for the recent future . . . no one but a comrade was going to help him, toss him another clip of ammunition, share meagre rations with him . . .

The British soldier, like the British sailor, always had a weather eye open for an impending storm . . . . it was a weather eye that was developed through cruel experience and was expensively bought . . it was purchased in the 18th century and 19th century continental and colonial wars . . . the Hell that was the Great War exacted a price, . . . and the 20th century’s modern conflicts provided a further invoice . . .

I do not claim the foresight and prescience can only be found in the military mind . . . but is there an army brain?

Our armed services might only spend 0.1 percent of their time fighting actual wars, but they spend 99.9 percent thinking about them and training for them. .

So I rather think there is . . .
Despite the fact that this calls out the British soldier. It reeks of America. Did you steal it from some crappy Facebook page?
 
2nd April 2020 - Lockdown Day 12

It is 4 55 am . . . the first cup of tea of the day is quietly steaming on my desk as I write . . . I am thinking . . . Is there such a thing as “AnArmy Brain” ? . . .

My friend Maurice recently posted something which gave me food for thought . . . it was to do with the current Chinese Plague . . . I call it “The Chinese Plague” because my army brain believes in telling it the way it is . . .

China has recently tried to deny any responsibility in the current World-wide mass deaths, in spite of its obvious genesis in the slime and guts of one of their disgusting live animal food markets . . . and as an aside, I hear Russia is starting to portray it as a Western plot . . .

But my army brain is having none of it . . .

What do I mean by an “Army Brain” . . . . Maurice’s post hazarded the theory that there are three types of people . . .

Type One, generally middle-aged with a refined sense of responsibility, both to themselves and those they love . . . they can often be seen staring into the middle distance, silently mouthing “F**** , I better batten the hatches . . . I better get more stores in . . .

Type Two, on the other hand, are controlled bu events, rather than trying to control them . . . they are unprepared for anything . . . every thing is some one else’s fault . . .

Type Three are generally the type often referred to as “Millennials” or “Snowflakes” . . their sense of responsibility is almost totally absent, and what little there is is targeted at the wrong things, such as their smart phones and their trainers . . . they are constantly surprised that shit is happening to them . . .

I think that the steadiness found in type one people comes from their broader experience of life . . they have seen it all before . . .

OK . . I am prepared to accept that all the above is a simplification . . . but it also contains some basic truths . . and I am willing to bet the Pole Dancer’s chromium pole that a great many of type ones have had some experience in the uniformed services, both military and civil . . . And here we get to the army brain . . . for centuries the British soldier has had to think on his feet . . . he has to be not only aware of the moment, but to also have an eye for the recent future . . . no one but a comrade was going to help him, toss him another clip of ammunition, share meagre rations with him . . .

The British soldier, like the British sailor, always had a weather eye open for an impending storm . . . . it was a weather eye that was developed through cruel experience and was expensively bought . . it was purchased in the 18th century and 19th century continental and colonial wars . . . the Hell that was the Great War exacted a price, . . . and the 20th century’s modern conflicts provided a further invoice . . .

I do not claim the foresight and prescience can only be found in the military mind . . . but is there an army brain?

Our armed services might only spend 0.1 percent of their time fighting actual wars, but they spend 99.9 percent thinking about them and training for them. .

So I rather think there is . . .
I think that you probably live alone, own a cat, and buy in to at least 50% the conspiracy theories that are going round.
 
I read that 'three types of people' thing on FB this morning. Did you write this all by yourself? Be honest now...
 
Why do I detect the whiff of third rate journo, out for pointers for a forthcoming article, possibly a long winded and somewhat boring tome on the inner workings of the British tommy. I do a bit of scribbling for a local paper, all my wibble is sourced from observation, world events, personal experiences, and past memories. I have never, and will never use the August corridors of Arrse for inspiration, or information of the inner thoughts and expectations of its contributors, and neither should you!

Edit:- What the hell are you smoking?
 
Last edited:

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
2nd April 2020 - Lockdown Day 12

It is 4 55 am . . . the first cup of tea of the day is quietly steaming on my desk as I write . . . I am thinking . . . Is there such a thing as “AnArmy Brain” ? . . .

My friend Maurice recently posted something which gave me food for thought . . . it was to do with the current Chinese Plague . . . I call it “The Chinese Plague” because my army brain believes in telling it the way it is . . .

China has recently tried to deny any responsibility in the current World-wide mass deaths, in spite of its obvious genesis in the slime and guts of one of their disgusting live animal food markets . . . and as an aside, I hear Russia is starting to portray it as a Western plot . . .

But my army brain is having none of it . . .

What do I mean by an “Army Brain” . . . . Maurice’s post hazarded the theory that there are three types of people . . .

Type One, generally middle-aged with a refined sense of responsibility, both to themselves and those they love . . . they can often be seen staring into the middle distance, silently mouthing “F**** , I better batten the hatches . . . I better get more stores in . . .

Type Two, on the other hand, are controlled bu events, rather than trying to control them . . . they are unprepared for anything . . . every thing is some one else’s fault . . .

Type Three are generally the type often referred to as “Millennials” or “Snowflakes” . . their sense of responsibility is almost totally absent, and what little there is is targeted at the wrong things, such as their smart phones and their trainers . . . they are constantly surprised that shit is happening to them . . .

I think that the steadiness found in type one people comes from their broader experience of life . . they have seen it all before . . .

OK . . I am prepared to accept that all the above is a simplification . . . but it also contains some basic truths . . and I am willing to bet the Pole Dancer’s chromium pole that a great many of type ones have had some experience in the uniformed services, both military and civil . . . And here we get to the army brain . . . for centuries the British soldier has had to think on his feet . . . he has to be not only aware of the moment, but to also have an eye for the recent future . . . no one but a comrade was going to help him, toss him another clip of ammunition, share meagre rations with him . . .

The British soldier, like the British sailor, always had a weather eye open for an impending storm . . . . it was a weather eye that was developed through cruel experience and was expensively bought . . it was purchased in the 18th century and 19th century continental and colonial wars . . . the Hell that was the Great War exacted a price, . . . and the 20th century’s modern conflicts provided a further invoice . . .

I do not claim the foresight and prescience can only be found in the military mind . . . but is there an army brain?

Our armed services might only spend 0.1 percent of their time fighting actual wars, but they spend 99.9 percent thinking about them and training for them. .

So I rather think there is . . .
And this one time... at band camp...
 
If there’s such a thing as an ‘army brain’, is there a special lightweight, air-portable version issued to Paras?.....
.......and a self important, look at me one, inherited by Teenage subalterns............A one N*** D***** comes readily to mind. What a total narcissistic bell end he was!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
My Army Brian had me out at 0700 picking up the rubbish that had blown out my recycling bin.

But I was careful not to stand on the grass as I did so.

And I swore a lot as I did it.
 
Why are you awake at 0455 typing your thoughts?
Have a lie in, its lockdown fool.

Secondly why have you joined this site to tell us about what Maurice is thinking?

Also why do you have a mate called Maurice?
 

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