The African Question

When you fail to shake long/hard enough and the Map of Africa appears...

Do you....

Splash water on your trousers and act nonchalant

Untuck your shirt and hope the lights favour you

Distract those around you with amusing tales

Stay in the bog until it dries off

Walk out oblivious and laugh when it's pointed out to you..
Schleswig-Holstein said:
Bugger - I thought my plan of splashing water on my trews, and then trying to act nonchalant was foolproof...
To the untrained eye perhaps it is!
I pat it dry before putting it away to prevent such dribbalage. Unless peshed. Then I get busted with swampy kecks.
i let my cock hang out thus diverting attention from the dribbled area and the birds eyes are quickly diverted to my face..

doing that i have a double bonus chance of getting a dirty grinning slut who doesnt even notice ive pissed myself and its soaked my entire leg.

i thought standing in the toilets and just letting rip without unleashing the beast was the sign of a real man anyway.

it seems to work at the supermarket when i have a sexpiss over the counter girls who turn and ask me "do i want a hand with that"

no babe i want both hands!both on my balls and your mouth pressed over my bellend
Toilet? No I take a pint glass piss in it and but it on the table next to me.

This draws all attention away from the leakage if any. Also allows me to carry on drinking without having to go to the loo!
This can be a most embarrassing situation, which is why i Loiter in the gents for an 10 extra minutes and then emerge with the story that my surpressed urges for cottaging had got the better of me and that i had just taken the greasey pork sword of a total stranger right up the gloomy chuff of love, and what they are actually seeing on the front of my slacks is the remnants of my own salty jiz residue after i had just fired off a burst of gloopy goodness into the welcoming face of the toilet attendant .
i find this approach saves a lot of sniggering looks andembarrassing questions.
Just shout naked bar as you leave the gents, thus every one joins in and with no strides on you can pick up someone elses when you are kicked out by the bouncers.
topkop said:
Just shout naked bar as you leave the gents, thus every one joins in and with no strides on you can pick up someone elses when you are kicked out by the bouncers.
They were mine you barsteward. :roll:
(Have you still got that screwed up piece of paper in the front right pocket. It had the phone number of a very willing fat dorris and it is rather more important to me than the trousers.) :wink:


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I find the silk lining that I have had tailored into my orange cords, usually absorbs the majority of any urine residue that may be present. I have also had my tweed jacket and cravat scotchguarded, so when I dribble or vomit on myself it just runs off. Simple preparations that can save a lot of time and embarrassment later on whilst at one's club.
I like the approach from David Mitchell when he was in "Peep Show". He'd just had a dry hump in the stock room which resulted in him going off in his pants...
As he's heading out the fire exit, he runs into his ex and her male friend who spots the map of Africa....
"Have you pissed yourself?" Says the bloke.
"Erm, yes, I have" says Dave.
"You twat!" says bloke.
Dave then thinks to himself, "Ha, I've got one over on them, they think I've pissed myself, but in fact I've spunked in my pants!"

So the lesson there, is go for broke.
I have a bad habit of driving the works van with a bottle of Orange Lucozade wedged between my thighs.
Three times in the last year speed bumps have led to disasterous consequences......
On the 2nd occasion I had a couple of lads in the van with me and I had just explained the previous disaster when I did it again, stick orange liquid all over the crotch! Despite the pish taking at least they believe me now!

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