Thatll cost yer.....

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by diehard57, Oct 5, 2005.

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  1. Speaking as someone who in 20 odd years service only ever lost one item of issued kit that I'd signed for and had to pay for it :) (a PRC 351 groundspike whilst at PSBC at Brecon - 30 squids - choker was it later fell out of the gap between the side pocket on the old SAS bergen as I was unpacking :oops: ) - anyway what's the most expensive bit of kit you've lost/damaged and been billed for :?:
  2. At BATUS a few years back, a young subbie pulled a Swingfire misslie out of the Striker bin without a lid on it. He rested it carefully on the edge, then jumped down to do whatever he was going to do. Unfortunately he caught his boot on the cam net and knocked the missile in a box onto the floor - bending it quite well! 8O

    After I had taken the details and dealt with the getting rid bit, I got the written statement off said subbie. As he handed it over he said a litlle sheepishly "Ummm.... ATO, are these missile expensive?" :(

    I looked round and realised that everyone had run away and his CO was standing nearby, seething with rage. :evil:

    I told him "Well Sir, they're abot 15 grand a piece new, this one has had a few things done to it and it's been brought 6 and a half thousand miles especially for this ex. I reckon about 18 grand give or take a bit.... Sir, your CO would like a word I think." :cry:

    "Bugger!" he replied "this is going to be a big mess bill......" :oops: :cry:

    I don't think he was joking :lol:
  3. I know someone who submerged a DROPS truck: parked on a beach at low tide, 6 hours later nowhere to be seen, 6 hours after that... :oops:

    £125K or thereabouts....
  4. An extremly expensive tall furry hat made out of a bear.Cost me about £700 quid with a 6 month trip to Colchester .
    I didnt exactly lose it , more sort of sold it ! :eek:
  5. I thought £20 for a helmet was harsh :lol: . I took it of to adjust radio headset didnt put it back on 20mins later sgt" wheres
    your helmet ? " Me hand on head no helmet "rv 3 :oops: "
  6. I smashed the first Mk 9 Lynx nose Oleo......

    I forget how much damage it caused but the sight of the OC and 664 Sqns Tiffy running round with thier heads in ORbit calling me all the cnuts under the sun was more than worth it.

    I ended up with a £75 negligence charge and the aircrew didn't get chance to play in there shiney new wheelybins :D
  7. Same detail, but it was an FFR land rover....

    Bloke parks on beach at Blackpool - goes for a small glass of lemonade.

    Returns to find no Land Rover, but sees the top of 2 whip sections sticking out of the Irish Sea :D

    Congratulations to "Sub-Aqua" troop - never did find out what the bill was, but 1 * L/R, several radios plus kit = a lot of cash :lol:

  8. This was before my time but perhaps any former members of C Coy 6 R ANGLIAN (but it might still have been 1 Coy 5 R ANGLIAN) looking in might like to tell us all about this unfortunate little conflagration that engulfed a brand new half-ton FFR. I was told that it was something to do with a wayward fuel line. You out there Smurf?

  9. OK, so I didn't end up paying for anything but it could have been very, very different... and I woke up in a cold sweat many mornings for months afterwards just thinking about it.
    It's the day before a PRE and the regimental washdown is US. The only other possibility is a road march to Sennelager to use the washdown out towards the ranges.
    The Sqn OC is too busy to attend - God knows why, as the whole squadron would be out all morning and there was little else to do: I should know as I was 2i/c.
    A couple of RMP turn up on their motorbikes and off we set, flashing lights going as per.
    The approach to the washdown was a track deep enough in mud to make you realise just why RTR officers traditionally carry ashplants!
    Post washdown, with the panzers gleaming, the boys all soaked and freezing, I asked the RMP what the route back would be. "The same route, sir." "What, do you mean going back down that f****ing track? If so, what the hell's the point of us coming all this way to washdown? Surely, there must be another way, preferably all on road?"
    "Well we could take the range road," allowed the full screw.
    "OK then, let's go."
    So, off we toddled, 15 x Chieftain. We were proceeding nicely when I got a call on the green talking box from the rear vehicle. "Boss, did you see the bridge class we just passed?" "No, what was it?" "Just thought I'd mention it, because it said 10 in large numbers."
    This was another one of those 'Oh sh1t' moments.
    Nobody stopped us but as we drove through the front gates of our lines, I noticed a fairly (un)welcoming committee - the first team was out: CO, RSM, Adj and other assorted bods who were hanging on to see what the excitement was about.
    I don't remember ordering the driver to halt, I rather had the impression that the wagon stopped of its own accord when confronted by the weight of the welcome squad.
    I dismounted in time to hear the CO ask the lead monkey (now I'm going to start being rude about them) why we had come along the range road and over said low-class bridge: "'Cos the officer ordered me to, sir," whined this snivelling little fatherless. I did not think it seemly to accuse the t**t on the spot of lying through his desperate-to-be-covered arrse.
    The CO requested my immediate presence in his office. Obviously there was not going to be any coffee as the Adj. was with us and clearly had no time to get a brew on before I arrived.
    Now, this CO wore half-moon glasses when concentrating and, when angry, they had a habit of sliding down to the tip of his nose and he would shove them back up with his forefinger.
    Cut down to basics, since this is a mixed audience, the CO told me that a survey would be conducted on the bridge and if there was ny damage I would be required to pay for all repairs.
    I can tell you that the drest of the afternoon and the drive back to Trackpen quarter that evening was not happy It kind of knocked the edge of whatever excellent news the then-Mrs Trackpen imparted as I came through the door.
    Come the following day, another summons upstairs in RHQ. Strangely enough, again, no coffee was offered.
    I went in to see the COwho gruffly announced: "It appears there's no damage to the bridge. You are a very lucky young man. What do you have to say?"
    I was so relieved that mouth beat brain to it: "All I can say Colonel, is that they ought to re-classify the bridge."
    His forefinger flashed to his glasses and it looked as if a deep furrow was forming on the bridge of his nose, when I realised that perhaps the next move should be a smart salute, smart about turn and march out!
    My revenge on the monkeys came just a short while later, but that has already been posted on another thread.
  10. that burnt out ffr was c coy 6 R Anglian and the picture is stil on the wall in the bar at ipswich
    unfortunatley smurf is no longer in the TA (could listen to his songs all day the mans a genius)
    his son is in though, anyone notice the SMG in the back off said ffr smurf used to tell the story
    briliantly through fits of laughter.
    back on thread PRC351 went missing from my landrover at the tac one xmas board of enquiry determined
    it were not my fault so got off with no futher action cheers Maj A
  11. Why's the bonnet open on that burnt out 1/2 tonny? Was somebody fiddling? :lol:
  12. I remember someone drove a TM through the perimeter fence at 10 tpt reg in Colchester, wonder who that was.....
  13. When I was a lowly OTC bod on attachment to what I hoped to be my future regiment on BATUS, we get a message through saying that Troopy ic has put us in completely the wrong fcking spot. Reverse out and bombing down a track to correct this slight incident of being geographically challenged, we hit a couple of huge bumps and the CVR(T) takes flight. Following a landing rough enough to get even a Crab pilot fired, we finally manage to find where we are supposed to be and try to get the TESEX kit up and running only to find that it was completely u/s.

    Troopy dismounts to try and figure it out while I fiddle around with the system inside. Next thing I know there is a strangled scream from the ground, the type of noise that would seem more suited to a cat being pushed arrse first through a cheese grater. I poke my head out to find out what's wrong only to figure it out immediately. The TESEX receiver panels on the side of the vehicle... aren't fcking there. Guessing that they had been knocked off during our attempt to launch a recce van into space, we spend the rest of the exercise trying to wind our way back to the spot without getting spotted. Following endex, we lose all decorum and floor it back to the spot in question and sure enough, there they are on the ground...

    in a thousand pieces, having been run over by a Challenger! Bugger!

    Actually it was rather pleasant that, as an OTC cadet, my response to official enquiries had changed from "but Sir, it wasn't MY fault" to "no, Sir, it wasn't HIS fault"!!!!!
  14. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    If I recall, the FFR was a petrol vehicle with coy HQ, it sat at its location for much of Saturday and to charge the radio's occasionally the engine would be turned over.

    Now, as I recall the story, the fuel pipe running from the tank to the engine was made of rubber, rather than the steel that you might expect. Well this had split in some way and the fuel was happily pooling underneath the vehicle. One time too many the engine was started and turned over, the engine was left running just a bit too long and the exhaust (covered in dripping petrol) caught fire as did the pool under the vehicle and Smurf bailed out. Any thoughts that it might have been down to his smoking are vigourously denied.

    The FFR took with it, 2 X 351/2's, 3 x SMG's, 1 x SLR or something, 3 x sets of webbing, 2 x Larry Large Packs, 20 x sleeping bags and a shite load of other stuff that the QM was diffy.

    The actual bill (also on Ipswich TAC's wall) was more for the contents and fittings than the Lannie itself. (4 1/2 K for the Landrover and another 8K for the kit if I recall), AND THIS WAS 1980's money....

    Ipswich is now 202 Sqn, 158 (Royal Anglian) RLC
    before that part of 5 Royal Anglian (very briefly)
    but was C Coy, 6 Royal Anglian for most of the 80's & 90's
    but before that 5 Royal Anglian and it may have been then that the fire burnt.
  15. At Bessbrook mid 80's a woodentop MT muppet pulled up outside the buzzard hut in a hyster, and went into the hut........unfortunately he didn't apply the handbrake correctly and the hyster rolled down the slope and came to rest against a Lynx nose :oops:

    The dent wasn't too big, but lots of sensitive gear inside...couple of bods had to be flown over from UK to inspect/repair. Incidentally, same woodentops went to open a Gazelle door as it was approaching the pulling the big yellow & black stripey handle :oops: :oops: