That will be a happy christmas then

Dear All
Please accept without or implied... these best wishes for an environmentally safe...socially responsible... low stress...non addictive...and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice ...(but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others...or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful...personally fulfilling... and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year ...(including... but not limited to... the Christian calendar...but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures).
The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race...creed...colour...age...physical ability...religious faith...choice of computer platform...or sexual preference of the wishee(s).
And a merry Christmas to you to, a normal straight up Christian celebration (not that I believe in the bollox anyway) with a tree and pressies and tinsel and turkey and stuffing and pork if you want and some beef too, with lots of ale and wine and heterosexual shagging and plenty of excess in every way regardless of the other 'religious' festivals going on as they are quite within their rights to do what they want with who they want as long as they don't complain about our good old British CHRISTMAS!

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