That satisfying punch

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by essexbob, May 13, 2005.

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  1. Yesterday evening I attended a case conference, advising another organisation on procedural issues regarding an appeal.

    Having briefed my counterpart by telephone to the content of my advice and asking him several times if it would suit his organisations purpose, which he agreed, I rocked up at 19.30hrs to give my presentation. By 20.00hrs it was become apparent that:

    a I had not been properly briefed
    b My counterpart had his own agenda
    c I had been set up to look a cnut and he would rescue the situation.

    After attempting to salvage some pride in myself I left at 20.20 with my tail between my legs, lesson learnt.

    This morning I decided to write last night off as a bad experience. However, the weasel has emailed my Director informing him that my advice and presentation was not upto standard. Interview without coffee at 12.30 today Director not pleased but is aware of my past performance levels so put it down to weasel being a cnut, good man.

    Went for Friday lunch time drink, weasel in bar, crowing about how he has saved the day in front of several colleagues, including one female who I am working on for xmas party. Warned weasel he was getting on my mammaries, ignored me. Outside bar weasel says bye essexbob, a say feck off, he invades my space, I land the best punch I have thrown for many many years :D .
    Weasel on pavement, me walk away with a little swagger.
    Waiting retribution
  2. You should have finished him off by pee'ing on him whilst he lay bleeding and embarrsed on the floor.
  3. Are you not at work now??

    I think he deserves a good skiffing. Get to that toilet now, get your finger at the ready and plant a nice brown tashe on his toplip.

    Report back asap
  4. No witnesses,I hope.(or can they be silenced?)

    "He must have slipped" :lol:
  5. Good call, can guarantee the pride and embarrasment will hurt more than any punch! Just one thing, how come you are waiting for the Xmas party? Stove her cooker now silly man!
  6. In the civvy world it's great for the first few seconds after the punch connects.........if theres any fall out BE CAREFUL.

    You must work with some right whankers for them to act like that.
  7. odds are he'll be to embarassed to say anything , i had this at work a little while ago , some little scrote was running around telling tales behind my back, after i'd invited him behind the skips for a little chat and delicately explained to him a few unwritten rules he has been constantly hanging out of my arrse ever since and cannot do enough to keep on my good side ..

    hope the weasel is cut from the same cloth.
  8. Well done that man. Good to let a t0sser like that know that however sneaky they might be, they cannot look smug when they're on their arrse.

    Top work.
  9. Good skills. Now sort out your alibi cos the sneaky t*sser may well try to drop you in it a bit more.
  10. Good work Bob. Had a run in with a taxi driver myself a few months back. Every instinct in my body said slap him, but being the model citizen that I am I held back. As I drove off, he ran up and kicked my car. I stopped again seeing nothing but a big red curtain and was half out of the car, on a roundabout, with visions of doing a Jeffrey Dahmer on him when Mrs Awol pointed out that Little Miss Awol was in the back of the car and it was a touch dodgy to remain parked there. Muttering blue murder I drove off and reported all to the plod from the next available layby. End result, they did sod all because there were no witnesses.... Which means I could have and should have lumped the cnut.

    I will next time, no question.
  11. Next time, tell them he racially abused you your wife and kid, and you want to make it a racial incident and will complain to CRE and all and sundry if they don't do anything about it. see what happens.
  12. Excellent work bob, too many of these civvies try this cr@p on thinking you're just gonna roll over.

    Had some tw@t try and drop me in it big time working in Singapore a few years back on a survey ship, tried to blame me to his superiors for him hiring a load of dodgy cheapo kit that not surprisingly failed to work!! Just could not believe the neck of the man!! Invited him for a little stroll on the dock where the situation was explained in minute detail to aforementioned tw@t, where he fully admitted trying to pass the buck 'coz he was 'under pressure to get the job started' b@llox or What??

    closest i've ever come at work so far to scrapping (although in this industry you have to sleep with the lights on to avoid the knifves!).

    Recently me and an ex household cav mate got a lift home from the local constabulary after 4 tossers kicked off in a local bar, then when they got the worst of it they legged it and called the plods! Riot van and 10 coppers chasing us down the road. Having a barrister for a brother i have been well versed in dealing with said coppers, i.e. deny everything, 'wasn't me constable' etc etc. As it was t@ssers word against mine, nothing they could do.

    10 out of 10 and hope the tw@t is too embarrased to take it further.
  13. Good skills Hogspawn but relies a bit upon Bob being ethnic rather than Essex. Why not try the similar "Guardsman's Defence" - say he put his hand on your peckerwood and made an indecent suggestion. Better yet say he threatened to say you had hit him if you didn't come across. then if he does mention the contact counselling, you have raised the issue first and his powder is piss-wet through. Go on, have the's too short.
  14. This happened a few years back.
    I'm in a nightclub with a few lads on a stag do. We bump into one of the guys wife's brother. The guys a right t0sser, pro IRA sympathizer and my mate is as close to being a squaddie as you can get without wearing a uniform.
    The arrsehole kept going up to him and wispering sweet nothings in his ear about the IRA this IRA that with the whole intention of winding him up. Because it's his wifes brother he tries his level best to resist landing one on him. Eventually it gets the better of him and they are toe to toe and it's about to kick off. I step up and pull my mate away, he backs off 2 paces and then he's back toe to toe again, I repeat the move and pull him away, he's then back toe to toe. B0lloxs to this I think to myself, as I go in for the third time to pull him away I decide to left hook the arrsehole right on the jaw. Arrseholes eyes roll in his head and he crumples on the floor like a sack of washing. Top quality punch that, to this day, I am extremely proud of. :lol:
  15. Nothing more satisfying than sinking some bugger who's asking for it

    My mate ( ahem ) was posted in the Hebrides and during post natal depression his missus went off with a local lad, now this depressed my mate as he was in a job , well hung and had a haircut every month at the airpport barbers, this other munter was the exact opposite , greasy spotty urchn in a black and white checked jacket that was now black and yellow , no job and a cunt to boot. Anyway the then ex wife came round to his quarter to kindly drop the sprogs off and this runt followed her like a lost sheep on valium . One thing leads to another as you may expect and the rest is a bit of a blur but my mate remembers the ugly gonk giving it ,"come and have a go, give it your best shot"

    He did , very satisfying the way when you punch someones lights out there is a slapping sound of their brains wobbling around their head